What Did I Miss?

I missed you today.
[Same Space / No Connection]
My fault, I know…

I hope my lurking
didn’t make you uncomfortable.

I hope tonight will give you
what my presence lacks.

Hope you can help w/ my phone and SNAP
without frustration or exhaustion
because I’m terrified of failure.

More than two months without therapy
and I continue to struggle
with simple exercises of balance and breath.

I’m losing Jennifer
and I could lose myself if I’m not careful.

Need to connect with you –
with him –
with myself more often…

                     Honest
                     Lust
       Terrified of: Lost
                     in
                     Lies

The frightening power when you
stroke the keys –

to make me whimper, weep,
make me cum
with threatened / promised action!

I’m addicted.

Junkie grovelling for scraps
of a childhood seduction.

Breathe my dreams to life.

Because Honest
Lust
Lifted
in
Longing

            may free me from this horrible freedom.
            allow me to smile at my expensive joke.
            to strip lust naked & make it my slave
            until tricks rob me of your magic
            and kneel me down
            to worship all that I missed today.

Written by Jason Wright
October 24, 2017

For Aaron