BALD JASON'S GAY GOTH BOY BLOG
A Work in Progress…Welcome Back!
Just out of sight –
he’s dismissed there because
He’s just not my type
but then what if he was?
I stare
puzzled
grim
with a girl by his side.
Bare muscled slim
with a pearl to confide:
Be what you are
and dare to admit it.
Under the stars
you stand there acquitted.
Systemic lies
are why we can’t trust…
The wisdom of sighs…
The secrets of lust.
Written by Jason Wright
August 20, 2026
When we met
you set on fire
as you kissed me
from above.
When we met
you were a liar
and convinced me
of your love.
When I slept
with that imposter
he was always
underhand.
When we met
you were a monster
but I didn’t
understand.
I couldn’t see
the truth
inside deceptive
aching flame.
You couldn’t keep
the proof
of my perspective
from your shame.
A shame
that only blizzards slayed
me tragic
in your eyes.
Like a game
that only wizards play
your magic
was a lie.
I don’t regret
the level
where you spurned me
with your spell.
When we met
you were the devil
and you burned me
with your Hell.
The fire
left its mark
and I’m now
forever changed.
And required
hefty spark
has left me now
deranged.
For now
I understand
but I’m haunted
by the squandered.
For now
you are a man
but I only want
the monster.
Written by Jason Wright
August 8, 2026
Before I had grown
and had moved far away.
If I could have known
what you never would say.
I could have watched
and seen all the signs.
Could have hopscotched
and made all the rhymes.
If I knew in youth
that you’d always desert me.
If I knew the truth
then it would not have hurt me.
I would have had fun
and would always be yours.
And I could have cum
more than all of your whores.
Written by Jason Wright
August 9, 2026
The divisional shadows
of the math we inspire;
derision of prose
by the wrath of desire
has led me astray
like a pawn to your laughter:
send me away
at the dawn of disaster.
Cock crows the call of
this glamor forbidden,
the clock on the wall
is a camera I’ve hidden,
and sight swarms the notion
of friendly portrayal
as light forms the motion
intent on betrayal.
My eyes disappear
as my brain overloads.
Beneath chandelier
I feel drained and exposed.
The world starts to shimmer;
I head to the gallows…
As glimmer of hope
is divided by shadows.
Written by Jason Wright
August 9, 2026
Inspired by a particularly kinky dream I had. It’s also an expanded fragment which began when I started typing words onto a collage for this site:
What I want
on BIRTH / DAY
is to see you undone.
To find worth in fray…
To be there when you cum.
Spending our pleasure
in treasured foul play.
The unending show of
pretending to stray.
In opera of trust
to be played by the playful…
The opera of lust
left us splayed and unfaithful.
These schemes of seduction;
a librettist’s triad…
My dreams of destruction
are the wettest I’ve had.
And as we conspire:
breathless / delusional.
Things I desire:
senselessly usual.
I am your boy
when the handsome and beautiful
leave me destroyed
when you are unsuitable.
Always pretending
to be my sad savior.
A catechist’s cream
is just as astrictory.
Always depending
on their bad behavior…
The masochist’s dream
is so contradictory.
Written by Jason Wright
August 8, 2026
A few years before
our friend lay down dead,
You said I was handsome…
or that’s what she’d said,
That’s all I remembered
and I could not fathom
why boy I remembered
would think I was handsome.
But when I looked back
she’d said quite a lot…
She spoke of my family
and what you had thought,
But I didn’t ask
for more at the time
so I’m left in the dark
of remarks about crimes.
Written by Jason Wright
August 7, 2026
When I was just 17
I fell for his pain.
He was different from me
and yet we were the same.
There between walls
and hospital beds…
There where we said
all the things left unsaid.
All but the truth
of the love that I felt.
But I know that he knew it;
he told me himself.
He signed it in ink
on a board for goodbyes
as we crossed the brink
to begin our own lives.
I thought he was gone;
though in dreams he was near.
“We must love our loved ones
while we have them here.”
And I swooned
as I grieved
and then one day I healed…
Before the wound
cleaved me in two
and revealed…
That he was alive;
it was I who had died.
And all that I’d felt
was because of a lie.
Written by Jason Wright
July 24, 2026
For Brian – on his 50th birthday.
Exhibited signs
describe a voyeur…
Prohibited lines
inscribe this auteur…
I am subliminal
inside my screams.
I am a criminal
inside my dreams.
The fire divides me…
Desire inside me
provokes the despairing
with no stroke or sound.
The fair sky has reddened…
Disguised Armageddon…
Smoke alarms blaring;
no smoke to be found.
I dream of eavesdropping.
My heart isn’t stopping.
As man that we watch speaks the same words as me.
Lies leave the feared thrall.
Eyes see as tears fall.
Time stops as stopwatch seeks the crosswords in me.
Written by Jason Wright
July 16, 2026
These were just a handful of musings about different things from my week. For instance, our smoke alarms (which are very loud) went off several times for no reason that we can fathom. But there was heavy smoke in the sky from forest fires in Canada, which made the sky look really creepy, which someone described to be as “Armageddon like”. I had dreams of listening in on conversations and sexual experiences. I also had something like nightmares after watching several YouTube videos about serial killers. Go figure! lol
I walked .02 miles to a local grocery store. I picked up a head of cauliflower, some mushrooms and the waffles that my dietician recommended. After I took that home the weather was so lovely that I changed and walked to the park. When I go to Fort Tryon Park, I love to sit in this area called the Linden Terrace, where I often call my grandmother as I take in the view of the Hudson River and New Jersey across the river. On my way to the park I had a resurgence of this pain that I sometimes get in my ankles / shins. I sat on a bench just outside the park and called my sister, Janice, who I spoke to for about 20 minutes, eventually walking into the park and continued to chat with her. There were so many squirrels in the park today, many of them approaching me in a way that I’ve never seen before; I assumed that many people feed them and this was confirmed by my friend Nathan later. Walking to Linden Terrace from our apartment is exactly a mile. I felt good and the pain had gone. I took a longer, more scenic route home, so I’m sure I walked about 3 miles today. And that’s me being out 13 days in a row.
I traded texts with Janice and Nathan. I had some nice moments with Celine and Aaron. And I just chilled for the rest of the afternoon.
Aaron is taking me to a Stonewall Chorale party tomorrow that will feature a talent show in which none of the performers can sing as their talent. I’m reading a poem, but I’m not sure which title I’ll pick. I’ve narrowed it down to a few, but I think it will depend on how the audience seems. Really, I’d share all of them if I could. Not because I think I’m an amazing writer, but because I have a very hard time deciding anything! lol
I’m staying up a bit later tonight to get some stuff ready for that and I haven’t really gotten ready for bed yet. If I get to bed by 1am I should be fine.
Today’s title quote is from “Rebirth of the Cool” by The Afghan Whigs from their 1992 album “Uptown Avondale”.
I should have gone to bed hours ago, but I needed a shower. And I do some of my best thinking in the shower. And I was thinking about all these interesting things and I thought I might like to write about them. So I did. And I put some artwork together and posted it here. And then I posted it on Facebook. And now I’m writing about doing those things, which is probably redundant.
Shawn Foreman sent me a friend request on Facebook. I didn’t approve it right away because I assumed it was a hack as we’ve been friends on Facebook for years, but when I looked, we were not friends anymore, so I’m assuming this is the real deal. We’ll see. I should let him know that Goth Boy is back.
I’m very tired and I don’t think I’ll need anything to sleep, but if I do, that’s fine. I did not go outside yesterday. I got ready. I shaved. But I didn’t need to go anywhere and my energy levels felt off, so I didn’t go out. The only reason that bothers me is that I’ve not been out since Monday and I don’t want to fall back into bad habits. I did however get a lot done on my website. And I also got to catch up with Aaron on the phone, which was nice.
Time for sleep.