BALD JASON'S GAY GOTH BOY BLOG
A Work in Progress…Welcome Back!
Washed out yesterday
feels distant as dreams
this morning of desperate
deceptive rape confessions.
Did loving / fearing them
make all the difference?
If so, I should
swallow all of
their sorrowful shame
to wake so
inspired and spritely.
Written by Jason Wright
September 30, 2017
Flash on subway
shooting by green / blue couple
and I know that moment
from years before – – is that me?
Is that watercolor smear
a glimpse of my past?
But I don’t know him
and I never looked like the other guy.
Smashing Pumpkins want to stand inside my love.
People have told me I look like Billy Corgan.
Might as well say I look like Humpty Dumpty.
I couldn’t ever be put together that way…
even if all the queen’s studs rode me
for 16 hours straight.
You, sitting next to me:
KEEP READING WHAT I WRITE!
IT AMUSES ME. 🙂
Other song was used
in video of my making,
much to the outrage of a certain Boy in Orange…
I don’t even know the title and it’s on my fucking playlist.
I’d had a nightmare about concentration camps
with this for a soundtrack,
and I don’t even remember that dream anymore
so the song is free to be itself at last.
Drunk trans woman laughs at what I write;
you are no mystery to me and you need not
scream at the others, begging to be fisted.
Nice to meet you Billie. (I transcribe)
Do you only love yourself
when you drink?
Written by Jason Wright
September 27, 2017
Four of us there;
though it’s hard to believe:
Bald Jason, Paul
and Darla and Steve.
The latter I stripped
in Ann Arbor fountain
before baring flesh
pressing into his bottom;
concealing our pact
(which they labeled obscene)
and that this healing act
had in fact made us clean.
The nerve that in public
made time seem to end:
Perving the lovesick
with crime through the lense
of twenty-one years
flashing by in a blur…
The party that wasn’t
for the people we were.
A moment of lust
that had built beyond reason,
Momentous trust
in the shadow of treason,
A moment of courage
acknowledged and shared,
Encouraged by touch
though we weren’t prepared
for the judgment of strangers
and friends left outside,
as we puzzled through riddles
with longing our guide,
But licentious struggles
are seldom rewarded,
For all our successes
we may have been thwarted…
For the world gazed in fear
as if love were contagious…
Our fumbled premiere
saw us stumble toward greatness.
Written by Jason Wright
September 20, 2017
When I met him,
a prisoner’s attempt to break free.
My relationship.
His deniability.
He was so forward the night we met.
Terrifying.
Couldn’t see he was teetering on the brink
just to kiss me.
For Josh –
Who’s kiss I’ll never forget,
who’s random phone calls haunt me to this day
and who still has plenty of magic
(even if “The Magician” doesn’t recognize it as such).
I scrawled this in my notebook on the train sometime last week and just got around to transcribing it here. I hope it finds you well.
I came here a stranger
embraced without a question,
You welcomed me here
and ensured my affection,
He’s broken and lost
and screaming inside me,
His pain is too much
and begins to divide me,
He learned not to eat
so that he could survive,
He’s making me sick
so that I’ll stay alive,
But he is confused
because he was deceived,
Our father told lies
that his children believed,
Little Boy Blue
always here to remind me…
And little boy fighting
is killing me kindly.
Written by Jason Wright
September 2, 2017
Camping together
like times that he’s had,
I can’t quite explain
why L.J. is sad,
Why gun to his head
is aiming at me,
Triggered by all things
that will never be.
I give him this time
to heal and reflect,
He feels so alone
yet our lives intersect,
I know he is haunted –
I know he’s a ghost,
I know that they hurt
what he wanted the most,
But he’s not alone
because I’m always near,
And though he is gone
I know he is here…
I know he is sad
and I’m paying attention,
I’m holding him close
in this time of reflection,
So don’t be afraid;
I am strong and can do this,
It wasn’t his fault
and I give him forgiveness.
Written by Jason Wright
September 2, 2017
For Little Jason and his father David.