May 31, 2011:

The bald boy dancing on the pole
is amazing
but I don’t want him.

Yet I want to fuck.
Want to be swept up in something
and forget what I am.

I drink.
I’m buzzed.
And I can forget the horrible weekend.

This is something close to what that bitch felt on Friday.

I dance and I sweat and I drink and I talk to the pretty girl named Ashley
who just broke up with her boyfriend of 4.5 years.
Men are dicks.

She and her friends talk about the balls on my chin.

I pretend that I’m normal.
I pretend that I don’t feel ill.
I smile and I laugh and it feels good even though it isn’t real.

When I leave I vomit on the sidewalk.
It tastes like pop rocks thanks to Sex on the Playground.

The Breathe Me song echoes in my head
and it won’t leave me alone
and I’m grateful.

These words pour out of me.

Typing is magic.

Written by Jason Wright
May 31, 2011

The Promise of Love

You were only 18.
I was 20 + 6.

You seduced without trying
and then hurt me for kicks.

But first came the smiles,
the passion and laughter…

The promise of love
that preceded disaster.

The heart of me: ruined.
The spark of me: broken.

The pain made me wish that we’d never spoken.

For the child that lived
deep inside of me cried…

And the ghost of him haunted
although he’d survived…

8 years suffering
followed instead…

Until I embraced him
and let him be fed…

And the child inside
was nourished and lived…

And I faced my demons
and learned to forgive…

And you and I spoke
of a love that was killed…

Yet the friendship we’ve made:
the promise fulfilled.

Written by Jason Wright
May 11, 2011

For Travis

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