You tell him that sex with me
will be completely emotionless for you,
or at least that’s what I hear without really listening,
but what you truly said is that
our sexual activity
will be completely emotionless for US,
but that’s not wholly accurate…
because I will feel something;
if I didn’t already feel something
I wouldn’t even bother.
You say that people don’t usually
FUCK their ex-boyfriends,
which I find funny
because so far,
they’re the only people I fuck,
and why not?
I’ve loved you for almost as long as I’ve known you
and can’t / won’t force myself to feel nothing.
But there’s NOTHING threatening to others
by this potential reconnecting of interlocking bodies,
because while sex will ALWAYS be emotional for me,
I also hold no illusions that
my having sex with you will bind you to me,
making you a prisoner
to only satisfy my needs,
to only service my pleasure…
Our FUCKING will not reintegrate us
into some magical reiteration
of our former couplehood.
The idea is preposterous.
As preposterous as truth
and as honest as fiction.
Written by Jason Wright
October 2, 2019
For Michael E.