BALD JASON'S GAY GOTH BOY BLOG
A Work in Progress…Welcome Back!
“Smoking in kitchen”
is what you had said.
Not what you meant;
least not in my head.
So I’m pressed
against glass
in kitchen
in view…
Stroking,
Caressing
and thinking of you.
You smile at my lust
in the pictures revealed.
My body and thrust
with nothing concealed.
You say that with muscles
I’d be quite unstoppable.
But I have no interest
in being un-top-able.
Written by Jason Wright
October 4, 2012
Sixteen years since
I gave birth to blood…
Escaped from within me
and erupted in flood….
I’ve never recovered
yet it left me prepared…
I now have a mother
who isn’t so scared…
Unless you’re dark skinned
and in power I guess…
Her views are impaired
but her love leaves me blessed.
Written by Jason Wright
October 4, 2012
The priest and the cowboy
who murdered each other…
Killed with a kindness
they both thought was clever…
Zombie decay
decomposed into lust…
With nightmares more deadly
than panic or trust…
For shades hide between
what is real and is right…
They look so alive
when seen in the light…
But night time,
it blossoms them into the dying…
They can’t understand
why they’re bleeding and crying…
They can’t understand
why their pain has increased…
And they won’t find the truth
until pain is let loose…
And life can infuse
both cowboy and priest.
Written by Jason Wright
NOVEMBER 5, 2011
On our first Halloween together, Aaron dressed as a cowboy and I dressed as a priest. We went to a party and I got a call from Sean Mobley who let me know that his father had died. The party had a karaoke portion and I saw “Angel” by Sarah McLachlan in honor of Ted.
You were “the one”,
that’s what my friends said…
But you were a lie
and a ghost in my head…
You’re so insecure
and you struck while I slept…
You made me afraid
it was my fault I wept…
But my life is changing;
Believe me…
It’s true.
You can’t hurt me now:
I’m indifferent to you.
Written By Jason Wright
OCTOBER 27, 2011
For Michael Slaughter –
I’m caught in a trap
and I need to get out…
I need to break free
of my own sense of doubt…
I need to believe
that I can survive…
I can’t let myself
be buried alive…
I hate what has happened
to childhood me…
I hate that I listened
to Father’s dark plea…
I hate that the Michael
I knew never stayed…
I hate that my brother
has left me betrayed…
I hate that I hate this;
it just gives me grief…
I hate that my sickness
has trumped my belief…
But I love those I’ve known
and I can’t just desert them…
So I try to keep breathing
and try not to hurt them.
Written by Jason Wright
OCTOBER 27, 2011
For Jason
When I smile for others
or remember through tears…
When I remember my brothers
have been dead for years…
I sometimes light candles
not because I believe…
But more for the action
that allows me to grieve.
But this friend’s alive
so candles seem wrong…
And he’s too far away…
Too grave
and headstrong to not make a gesture
without such regret…
So I raise up my lighter,
To honor the fighter,
A nonsmoker smoking his last cigarette.
Written By Jason Wright
October 20, 2011
For David Hull.
I wish I could do more to help.
Such beautiful people;
remarkably strong…
They don’t live forever
and never stay long…
They brush up against you
then kiss you goodbye…
And that’s if you’re lucky
enough to know why.
They make you feel something
and then disappear…
Their absence is painful;
their presence was dear…
This price we all pay
is a heartrending cost…
The feelings we feel
when loved ones are lost.
Written By Jason Wright
October 12, 2011
The man in the house is a dream
not yet woken…
A devilish angel
their God has not broken…
He stands in that darkness and
nothing corrupts him…
Escaped from this prison
and it cannot touch him…
But it haunts his eyes
and I want to soothe him…
Want to caress,
connect and move through him…
But I cannot touch him
for ghosts don’t exist…
Yet he felt so alive
on the night that we kissed.
He appeared in my room
and awkwardness followed…
His thoughts deftly filled me
yet made me feel hollowed…
We wandered the streets
and I saw he was right…
They do look like paintings
at this time of night.
We shared our stories,
of pain and of drinking…
And I’m going to Hell
for all I kept thinking…
Between flash of eyelashes
time slowed to such length…
Seduced by such visions
of vulnerable strength…
Such moments were fleeting
for friendship was needed…
The slut deep inside me
confessed and conceded…
For he hears his heart
far more clearly than I…
He’s somewhere beyond me
and I don’t know why…
Returned to his home;
overwhelming and minimal…
Leaving him there was both
haunting and criminal…
The shouting and smells
seek to silence; malign him…
But he will survive…
This ghost is alive…
And the houses he haunts will never define him.
Written by Jason Wright
OCTOBER 10, 2011
For David Hull
The crow at your door
surprised me…
a vision…
Could not comprehend
it’s ghost like precision…
Crows can be murder
or rapture or rotten…
We entered beneath it
and soon twas forgotten.
I was in your apartment
and very much single…
When the spark in your eyes
made my skin start to tingle…
Though we weren’t alone
and we weren’t together…
I was laying there
hard
and wanting
and clever…
The throbbing
was robbing of fear and of doubt…
The sex of your eyes
made me long to find out
just how you would taste
and I couldn’t hold back…
And alone for just moments
I pounced and reacted
with hunger and lust
at the sights set before me…
You tasted amazing…
You tasted of glory…
You tasted of chance…
You tasted of trust…
But the moment
it faded
and it turned to dust…
Yet within me it lingers…
I know what the crow meant…
For I remain rapt
in the taste of that moment.
Written by Jason Wright
September 20, 2011
For Tom: more than a year after the fact.
Dreams of grandfather
confessing his love…
Memories of children;
school can be rough.
Remembering dreams
filled with men and with kisses…
What it was to be young
and often how vicious…
It all seems important
but is gone in an instant…
It all seems so fragile
yet oddly insistent…
Every blink of my eyes
brings more thoughts to pin me…
It all seems so varied
yet crashes within me.
Written by Jason Wright
September 8, 2011