BALD JASON'S GAY GOTH BOY BLOG
A Work in Progress…Welcome Back!
Knives on the slate
and discussion of death.
My lives of late
are now months bereft.
The veiled lure of cash –
(recitation complex)
A failure to crash –
(cessation of sex)
And all of it: meaningless –
(meaning too much?)
Is there any redeeming us
there where we touch?
Written by Jason Wright
February 6, 2020
All of your life
I was waiting
beneath the surface
where we could not see one another
through that reflective prismatic
membrane…
down beneath waves
in an ocean of time.
Our meeting
was not the frothy crash
one might expect between
two long separate bodies;
more a subtle swallowing
of pride,
an exceptional chance encounter between worlds,
between men,
emptied and refilled and accepted –
we drank each other down.
you are my sustenance
you have long nourished my soul
in a calming deluge of possibility,
a commingling of creation and interpretation –
your intoxicating mixture of unspeakable talent
with benevolent decency,
such rare treasure
is my honor and privilege to behold
and to bathe in,
to witness all that lies beneath
all that others seldom see.
How could anyone observe such strength
and such frailty,
such passion –
Who could spy such longing
and not find themselves quickened?
Such stimulation
can rob mortal men of decisional capacity.
I had no choice but to love you, you see…
And yet I find that
I decided all the same.
I chose to embrace the experience of you,
to appreciate it for what it was
and what you were,
I opted to be vulnerable and to be strong,
and then finally I agreed to follow
that untrodden path wherever it might lead.
You are the decision that has changed my life forever.
You are the choice that I made
that I have never regretted.
Written by Jason Wright
February 13, 2019
For Aaron
You were lost in the dark
and I sounded absurd.
Exhausted remarks
left you feeling unheard.
I swear that I heard you
and I feel regret.
I’m aware I deferred you
and caused our upset.
My only defense
is a timeless cliché.
My lonely pretense
is a rhymeless betrayal
of love and of care but
was truly attraction:
Thought overwhelmed
by the prime crime of passion.
Written by Jason Wright
November 29, 2018
For Aaron
My ex-husband’s wife is a cunt.
She messages me
about appropriating my memories
in a collage in which she dreams
I never existed.
She finds it so fantastic
that she attended a bar in the ‘90’s
where her husband was dancing
in a cavernous Detroit Ramada Inn.
Do I have any pictures without him holding me,
she asks?
No. I don’t.
I took him there
on our first date
in December 1995.
But I do have some pictures
that she can’t erase me from…
That night he climbed into my bed
and begged me to mesh
nakedly together
as I snapped photos
and told him I would not be his excuse
to sabotage his relationship
with this woman.
Aaron says this is because I have standards.
I doubt she would see it that way.
But I will not surrender my memories
and she…
will never know.
Written by Jason Wright
January 10, 2018
Another poem originating from April 2017 scribblings on a train.
Hearing disappointment which matches
THE SICKNESS INSIDE ME
threatening to overtake me.
Breathe.
The train is already departing one six eight;
perhaps this panic is for nothing?
Why do the only loud people
in the car gravitate toward me?
Hungry. Terrified and hungry.
Some things never change…
but I can.
Relax. Breathe.
He cannot hurt me here.
She is safe.
And I will eat before long.
If the show has begun
I will eat without fear
and rest,
knowing I’ve seen this particular show
three times before,
and I will be there for Aaron
without compromising
sanity or the denial of self.
If I make it there in time I will be
collected and calm. I will take in
this special show with
no need of regret
for I have controlled my fear
and done my best to travel
especially on the
fucked up weekend transit.
Now relax. Breathe / Ground,
and be the Jason that you want to be.
Written by Jason Wright
October 29, 2017
She with the shiny black rose hair
smiles ancient rictus grin:
compliment received…
will I age like that? Like a papercut?
Blood drips to water stores
removed from dry bone rattle;
a fire of truth that burns us all away.
Kindness amidst violence
threatened with every raised voice
of children pretending they they
are even a quarter of her age.
Her smile tattoos my brain;
a giddy afterimage to ponder as
Aaron turns away to keep me close.
Written by Jason Wright
October 23, 2017
A year ago now
you were lost in the dark
and being alone there
it changed us
I fought hard for you
you fought for me too
we fought for the truth
that estranged us
we struggled with doubt
I smuggled us out
but there in the light
we were strangers
for finding the light
did not make us right
the truth set us free
but with dangers
and it was discovered
the damage we suffered
still plagued us in spite
of our patience
our ignorance threatened
our romance was deafened
we’d nearly been drowned
by complacence
found to be guilty
my love nearly killed me
life is a bitch
an assassin
but time worked it’s magic
became more romantic
we survived by the grace
of compassion
and there on that ledge
we stood on the edge
of a death
that still makes me shudder
and finding us there
beyond our despair
we rescued ourselves
and each other
and now we still struggle
both in dark and in light
but the struggle is real
and you make it alright
for life without fight
is a life without meaning
and a life without plight
to our love is demeaning
this year having passed
profoundly, it’s true
I hope that we last
and I’m glad I found you.
Written by Jason Wright
August 10, 2017
For Aaron
Various sentences
rise through the mist,
Queries for Romeos
found in our midst,
Did they know when they met me
I didn’t exist?
Perhaps they have doubted
yet doubts were dismissed?
To be fair
my partner in crime
is pretend,
Oh he’s quite real to me
and of that I contend,
But they don’t see the truth
in the lies that we send,
Try not to smile…
Must not reveal guile…
We are only unreal
to our weak weekend friends.
Written by Jason Wright
July 26, 2017
Two men tormented
by men who are blind.
Two men prevented
from men they must find.
Two men inside me
who I may find care in…
Despise
the unwise
who would dare
to scare Aaron.
These parts of me
named
should not feel
ashamed.
Each of us beautiful; one and the same.
And I may be biased
in my manifesto…
But Aaron should listen
because Jason says so.
Written by Jason Wright
July 9, 2017
He wants Aaron,
tells me I’m beautiful,
asks if he can piss on me,
and it’s not until
he cowers
that I lose my erection.
His fear disgusts me.
I once was fearless,
I’m seemingly peerless…
I dance with the others
who fail to march outwardly.
Their fear leaves me wounded
and feeling excluded…
Rather fearless and stupid
than smarter and cowardly.
Written by Jason Wright
June 21, 2017