I did get back to bed yesterday morning. I struggled with a migraine and my stomach was worse than the previous days. But I made it to my doctor’s appointment in Hell’s Kitchen. The last time I went to this office, 3 months ago, I learned that an old friend, Brian Lounsberry, had died. When I went yesterday there were reports that Anthony Stewart Head, aka Rupert Giles on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, had passed away. It’s one of the hardest things to reconcile with, as we age, we see others pass from this life.
I started watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on January 19, 1998. I remember the episode (S02E13 “Surprise”) and where I was and who I was with (Jennifer in the old apartment at Mapleridge in Ann Arbor, Michigan), what I was feeling before, what I felt during and after. And I quickly became obsessed with the series. I don’t feel that way anymore (because I have most of the series memorized), but during the show’s run and for several years after, the series was extremely important to me. It still pops up in my dreams on a daily basis. We’ve lost 3 cast members in the last 16 months, and at least 2 cast-members of the spin-off series, “Angel”, died years ago, with 32 year old Glenn Quinn (who played Allen Francis Doyle in the first 9 episodes) dying from an accidental drug overdose in 2002, and 33 year old Andy Hallet (who played Lorne across 4 seasons and 47 episodes) dying of congestive heart failure in 2009. May they all rest in peace.
I took the 1 train to 50th and walked to 52nd and 8th for my doctor’s appointment, which went smoothly. In and out, relatively fast (like a date I had once). I walked to Columbus Circle and took the A train home from there. When I got home I took a nap. I tried to eat, which didn’t go well. I wanted to be done for the day but there was an intimate party for our friend Vanessa that I very much wanted to attend. Thankfully that all worked out. But when we got home, I was done. I slept well that night.
I’m not sure what’s going on today. I was invited to attend a sex party by our friend Nathan, but I told him I’m probably not the best candidate. I’d want to talk to everyone and possibly document everything! lol And I’m guessing that’s frowned upon? There’s also the possibility that I would feel very uncomfortable and leave and be awkward, or worse, completely let go, have a blast, and then come home with some lovely new diseases! At the very least, I think about these things way too much. Plus…I likely don’t know anyone at this party and I’m not great at hooking up with strangers. Maybe it’s weird, but I like to LIKE the people that put themselves inside of me. lol
Today’s song quote journal title comes from “Back to Friends” by Sombr from their 2025 album “I Barely Know Her”.
May 29, 2026. Aaron and I, on our way back form the Vitamin Shop.
Friday night, Aaron got me out to pick up some protein for my smoothies from the Vitamin Shop downstairs. I was so worn out, but he knew I was on a roll of days going outside, so that was very nice of him. He’s awesome.
Aaron hosting (with percussionist Paige Andrews) at the Stonewall Inn 05-30-26.
Saturday (May 30) I went with Aaron to the Stonewall Chorale cabaret that was actually inside the Stonewall Inn. I feel increasingly close with the members of the choir and those who work with them. It’s really nice having all these people to look forward to seeing. Aaron was the MC, and he was amazing, as always. He also performed, which is always great. It was fun to see so many people having so much fun.
My stomach was dreadful again on Sunday, but I just chilled. I watched the first episode of the final season of “Euphoria” and picked up where I left off on “Grace & Frankie”; I have 2.5 seasons left of that series. I have a whole lists of series that I’ve begun but never finished and it would be nice to knock a few of those out this summer. I did get myself to go outside for a few minutes to keep my streak up.
Outside again. May 31, 2026.
On Monday (June 1) I felt like if I didn’t get out for a walk it might not ever happen. So I made sure that it did. I wasn’t sure if it was smart to walk 2 miles so I took the A Train to Fort Tryon Park and sat at my usual spot at Linden Terrace. I spoke to my grandmother, as I often do, but I let her go when squirrels approached me. I had brought some nuts to feed them this time which was really fun! I’ve become the old guy in the park feeding the squirrels and pigeons, as several variety of birds joined in the meal. It was very relaxing, breathing in the fresh air, feeding the animals and not having a care in the world.
I walked the full mile (and then some) home. And that felt great too! My stomach mostly behaved and later Aaron (who was at pool) had me take the elevator down to pick up a package, which the deliverer hadn’t left in the Amazon Lockers – which is always annoying because when they leave them out they often get stolen. I didn’t tell Aaron I was already in bed, I just went and got it. lol I did sleep really well that night though!
Out of bed to pick up a package for Aaron. 06-01-26.
On Tuesday I felt more like myself. I walked to and from the park (so over 2 miles). I fed the squirrels again, he stayed closer to me this time. I also spoke to my friend Paul on the phone, who I hadn’t spoken to in a long time. And I later got a call from Michael Slaughter.
I helped Aaron take some donations into a gay donation center then stopped in with him to see the choir before I wandered the West Village and took in some of the PRIDE. Then I headed home, snapped a few photos, read the news and got ready for bed. I slept pretty well. Cuddled with Aaron this morning. And got up, knowing I needed to catch up on my blog, and so here we are…
So today is June 3, 2026. I ordered a bunch of things from a wishlist of mine, which I’ve been waiting to see if I had the money for and I did. I also ordered some of Aaron’s birthday presents. And if I can get outside today, that will mark 32 days in a row that I’ve been outside the apartment. That’s fucking amazing. I feel really good about this.
I have therapy in an hour so I should eat or dress or whatever else I need to do before then. If I eat then I’ll have an hour for my stomach to calm down before I need to do anything else.
Oh. And “The Vampire Lestat” starts streaming on Sunday. I loved the first 2 seasons, which adapted “Interview with the Vampire” so I’m really excited about this – and so far, it has a 100% on Rotten Tomatoes! Hopefully it’s good. So I’m looking forward to that!
Okay. I should go.
But…today’s journal song quote is from “Never Enough” by The Cure, from their 1990 remix album “Mixed Up” – which was the first CD that I ever bought!
This entry feels like it’s going to be very unorganized. My brain is fried and I’m writing about several days, but here goes…
05-26-26:
I dreamed I was up late by myself. I had fallen asleep watching Pretty Woman and realized I had missed most of the movie, but as I thought back on the parts I missed, it was actually the movie Mrs. Doubtfire. I had not mistaken one movie for the other but it was somehow both films.
In the dream I lived with Aaron but he wasn’t home. I wondered where he was so late but as I was in bed (not our current bed – in my dreams our apartment is often different) I did not think to call him. When Aaron did arrive home he brought friends and I pretended to be asleep – only he didn’t even stop in to check on me. The friends were all black – the cast of a movie I saw once. One of them I’ve seen in several things and will try to remember his name later. I was a bit miffed but tried to get back to sleep and seemed to succeed. When I woke again Aaron still wasn’t in my room so I crept around the apartment (which was cavernous, filled with old things, curtains blowing in the wind, ala The Hunger) and I saw that Aaron was alone with only the one guy whose name I can’t remember. Aaron had put on my leather jacket and I knew right away that he was about to fuck this guy. I grabbed my phone, wanting to sneak around and watch and record but I kept running into problems, the way that people often do when they need to pee in dreams, only I think all these obstacles were meant to keep me from cumming. I was grabbing my dick. I was trying to record but accidentally called myself. I ran into an old coworker and though I stopped to explain to her (Jennifer White who was still Jennifer White but going by a new name with a fake accent) what was happening and she was sympathetic I had to sneak away from her to get back to the sex-cipades, but I couldn’t get over there. I knew the guy would be leaving soon so I feigned sleep again but the guy thought it was hot (and so did I) for him to insult me by getting Aaron to fuck his face near me so I squinted to see them having sex. The guy, oddly, had like a horse tail growing out of his lower back, or maybe he was cosplaying or something? I don’t really get that part. Eventually he woke me on purpose and I was trying to decide if I should act like I was offended and possibly scare Aaron in the process (which I didn’t want) or if I should just treat it like it wasn’t a big deal which might have led to either good or further bad behavior from the guest. I started to wonder about men like this and if they might want to hurt me by throwing away my stuff or damaging my property and that we should find ways to avoid that as I woke to find Aaron leaving the bedroom, naked (as he sleeps naked). I wanted to tell him I just had a sex dream about him but then I started replaying it in hopes of remembering it – then I snuck to the office to write this down.
Tuesday I went to the post office with Aaron and then walked to Little Caesars to get pizza. My stomach has been iffy since we left for FL on the 20th, so I didn’t go further, but it was nice being outside. I mostly worked on my website.
Wednesday. May 27. Feeling pretty rough.
Wednesday followed much the same pattern as Tuesday. I did get out for a minute but I was not feeling very good – I just wanted to make sure I was staying in because I didn’t feel well, and not because I couldn’t bring myself to get outside.
05-28-26:
I dreamed of seeing Steve Groff at church. I tried to take a selfie with him and Grandma but we moved and when I asked for another grandma said no. I left them there. I was in Aunt Thelma’s yard, trying not to be seen by cars (driven by thieves) by hiding behind trees. Later, Steve joined me at my apartment and he started playing the Pretty in Pink soundtrack and I said that I had meant to play the same thing and to tell him that everytime I hear it I think of him but that I didn’t know how to communicate that to him without sounding crazy because it has nothing to do with him. I asked him if he’d seen a movie or heard the music it featured and he said no in a fearful, almost lustful tone. The film featured a serial killer who murdered a man who lived in an old bus / sailboat on the beach who was insane, infected with vermin that could be washed from his skull but never would be before he died. The killer was a gay erotic ideal, leather clad and muscles and I compared Steve to this man. He explained that they (his family) had almost gotten out during Covid and they had planned against the government, but I knew the story somehow and knew it was empty. Later, Amber and Laurie visited me and I told them that on my birthday Jennifer and Autumn had visited me and that we’d exchanged poetic verses inscribed on artistic objects of our own designs. One of my old ones was found by Amber (a seemingly wooden square, in a thicker than usual picture frame, painted black with white highlights (something like lightning or squiggly lines but was it white on black or black on white – and there were words as well) with a poem inscribed. I tried to draw it when I woke up but the drawing didn’t do it justice.
After waking I saw various things (above) that felt connected to what I’d dreamed. Later I went out for another walk but that was cut short by unexpected rain. I took some pictures though, which I tried to have some fun with.
I worked on a guide to Torchwood that incorporates the Big Finish audio adventures; the final entry in the monthly range was released this week and I loved it. It’s one of my top 3 entries in that series, all of which features Ianto Jones and tie into bigger events.
“Broken” ties into several first season Torchwood episodes. The new “Fare Well” covers Ianto’s supposed first day at Torchwood One (but fans know this is his second first day after the previous one was wiped from his memory) + a mission set shortly before “Children of Earth”, when SPOILER, Ianto’s character was killed in 2009. Another entry, “Coffee” covered Ianto’s time at Torchwood Three and ends after his death. Ianto was always my favorite Torchwood character; even before the character’s death I had a little shrine to him on my bedroom wall.
I did not sleep well last night. I went to bed very late (early this morning) and I had therapy at 10am. I was going to go back to bed but that didn’t pan out. I’d like to get out for a walk but that seems more and more unlikely. I’m disappointed in myself for not getting out more this week but my stomach has just been horrible. Maybe it will happen? We’ll see.
Today’s journal entry song quote is from “Dreaming of the Queen” by Pet Shop Boys from their interestingly packaged 1993 album “Very”.
Various pieces by artists inspired by The Drowning Girl.
I slept well again, thankfully. I didn’t go to choir last night. I had a bit of a headache and I’d already been out and my stomach was iffy. I did get some packing done. And I sent a digital copy of CaitlÃn R. Kiernan’s The Drowning Girl to my new friend Linda. On the one hand, I think that Linda might love this book, as I do. And on the other hand, I know that sales help Kiernan, who is struggling to pay some bills right now. So this seemed like a good idea. I love this book so much and I’ve probably gifted it to at least 7 people over the years, which is not something that I typically do. I’ve given copies to Mollie Baker, my sister Janice, my ex-gf Jennifer, my cousin Katie, Aaron has listened to the audiobook. I’ve also recommended it countless times. I know my friend Isaiah Pittman is trying to read it. It’s so inventive and it moves me, and if I like you, I’ll probably recommend it to you. And anyone who loves the book might want to check out her collections, “To Charles Fort, With Love” and “Houses Under the Sea”, which both feature stories that tie into the novel. There are likely others, but I’m kind of pressed for time at the moment and I don’t want to ramble for too long! Suffice it to say, that if you’re reading this – and I honestly don’t know that anybody actually is, then I highly recommend The Drowning girl and Kiernan’s work in general. You can find more of her work on her Amazon page (which I don’t get any money from – I just think she’s worth reading) and I’m sure there are other links that would help her even more. I should just ask her.
And it’s the morning of a travel day. We won’t be leaving the apartment for about 4.5 hours; we like to get to the airport a couple of hours before our flights, just in case anything goes wrong. Our flight to Orlando boards around 5pm and we should arrive by around 9pm. Then it’s about an hour to our house. And we’ll likely get inside, try to get settled and go to bed soon after. So, hopefully I’ll be in bed in about 12 hours.
Today’s song quote title comes from “He’s Gone” by Saint Etienne, from their 1994 album Tiger Bay. An acquaintance of mine with really great taste in music, Steven Rink, posted this song on Facebook when he was moving from New York to the West Coast and it’s been stuck in my head ever since. I’m not headed for the West Coast today, but I’m leaving New York and so it felt appropriate.
I just took a Xanax. There was awhile, years ago, when I would take them quite often. But just like with other methods that worked for me but were perhaps not the healthiest choice, I’ve severely limited my intake of this drug. For awhile it was a crutch, but now it is a tool that I can allow myself to use when I need it, and tonight I needed it.
I’m stressed. And I’m panicky beyond my circumstances. Aaron’s life is going through some major changes so I’m afraid that I seem selfish to be feeling like this, but that’s one of the contributing factors. His personal stress and his challenges affect my own. I like being stronger for him, but this week there are more issues than I usually have to deal with, and it’s the same for him, though he’s dealing with far more than me and much more gracefully.
Others issues include our upcoming travel. Sometimes I get so nervous before hand and it’s generally worse when I’ve not travelled in a few months. Before I moved to New York I had flown a few times. A trip to Florida. A trip to Las Vegas. A trip to San Francisco. But now we’ve flown so many times that I feel foolish for being nervous at all, but I am. We’ve probably flown to Michigan more than 30 times at this point. We’ve flown to Florida at least 6 or 7. We’ve flown to San Francisco, and London, and Rome, Barcelona and Texas. And thinking about it that way I probably don’t have anything to worry about, and yet I do.
I also feel a bit odd that I didn’t really get out today. Sure, I walked to the front of our building and stood outside a moment, but it’s not the same as walking a mile or two. And I only went out because I wanted to confirm that I could go out and that my desire to stay in wasn’t based in my weird fear of going outside. So that’s what I did. I got outside, I ate, I showered in the cold water. That’s another thing. Something wrong with our water pressure and we don’t have hot water. I’m trying to be an adult about this. So many people don’t even have water and I’m upset that the water isn’t warm enough? I noted earlier that it does keep me from lingering there. I wash and I get out. But I love taking my time in a hot shower. It’s where I do some of my best thinking.
My aide, Celine, who is a saint, is also not here this week. One of her cousins was murdered. It was so horrible! And they’ve had to wait a crazy amount of time for the funeral due to the investigation. And so I hope her travel goes smoothly and that she and her family can find some amount of healing from being together. When she’s not here it becomes even clearer how much she does for me. I’m aware otherwise and very grateful and I always, always thank her and speak well of her to her employers but it’s one other thing that this week is throwing at me.
I’m a whiner. I’m a glass half-empty kind of guy. But I’m trying not to be. Writing this is helping. I try to change the way I think. I try to reshape my thoughts and feelings, without denying them. I feel good that I let myself take the Xanax and that I don’t abuse it. I don’t think I’ve taken any in months, and I certainly haven’t taken a whole pill. But I’ve gotten better at recognizing when I need it and giving myself permission to take it. When I first started treatment with it, nearly 2 decades ago, in Michigan, I would let things get so bad before I took it, that the anxiety would get out of control. I would be shaking and on the verge of collapse. But I don’t let that happen anymore. It helps knowing what the drug can and cannot do for me. There are limits. The drug has limits. I have limits.
Another issue. I’m heading to doctor’s appointment tomorrow. I’ve gotten pretty good at getting to this building in the past, via 2 different trains. I mean, I usually take 2 trains to get there, not that I choose one or the other. But the stop that is near this building is closed. So the second train is pretty pointless. And I’ll need to walk pretty far to get there. There are buses that I could take but I’ve never trusted the bus system here. I find it very difficult to decipher the signage for busses here – but I’ve recently learned that others I trust have the same troubles. And so I will walk. It should take about 30 minutes on the train and then about 20 – 30 minutes of walking to get to the office. And then I get to come back the way that I came. And that will likely be all the walking I do tomorrow. I worry that I’ll get that leg pain again though.
I did get a lot done on my website. It took me hours and I’m convinced this will just make me seem that much more insane: I uploaded 36 more collages of ME. I compulsively make collages of all sorts of things but for my photos section I’ve put over a hundred collages of my face and other bits. It’s excessive. And yet I know that I have thousands more photos. But at least for now I think I’ll take a break from all that. It will give me time to get new pictures. lol Not something I need really, but I do like contrasting new and old photos. I tried to include pictures from the last 6 years in with the rest. We’ll see how that all shakes out. Perhaps I’ll cut way back on the number of collages here and just alternate them every now and again to keep it fresh? I don’t have a lot of feedback to go on, by design. People are such assholes online and I don’t want to have to deal with them, but that means I can’t accept any of the compliments either. Oh well.
I need to pack my backpack up now and get ready for bed. I need to get up by 9 and leave by 10. I’ll probably have a smoothie before I go.
Tonight lyric quote is from “Broken Head” by Catherine Wheel, from their essential 1993 album “Chrome”.
I’d share a link to the song here but Spotify is being shitty again. Which is why I’ve started including these photos and mentions of what the fuck I’m getting my title quotes from.
Edit: It’s Tuesday morning, May 19, 2026. I’ve had my smoothie. And Spotify is working so I’m adding the link to the song:
I walked .02 miles to a local grocery store. I picked up a head of cauliflower, some mushrooms and the waffles that my dietician recommended. After I took that home the weather was so lovely that I changed and walked to the park. When I go to Fort Tryon Park, I love to sit in this area called the Linden Terrace, where I often call my grandmother as I take in the view of the Hudson River and New Jersey across the river. On my way to the park I had a resurgence of this pain that I sometimes get in my ankles / shins. I sat on a bench just outside the park and called my sister, Janice, who I spoke to for about 20 minutes, eventually walking into the park and continued to chat with her. There were so many squirrels in the park today, many of them approaching me in a way that I’ve never seen before; I assumed that many people feed them and this was confirmed by my friend Nathan later. Walking to Linden Terrace from our apartment is exactly a mile. I felt good and the pain had gone. I took a longer, more scenic route home, so I’m sure I walked about 3 miles today. And that’s me being out 13 days in a row.
I passed this woman feeding pigeons on my way home. 05-15-26.
I traded texts with Janice and Nathan. I had some nice moments with Celine and Aaron. And I just chilled for the rest of the afternoon.
Aaron is taking me to a Stonewall Chorale party tomorrow that will feature a talent show in which none of the performers can sing as their talent. I’m reading a poem, but I’m not sure which title I’ll pick. I’ve narrowed it down to a few, but I think it will depend on how the audience seems. Really, I’d share all of them if I could. Not because I think I’m an amazing writer, but because I have a very hard time deciding anything! lol
I’m staying up a bit later tonight to get some stuff ready for that and I haven’t really gotten ready for bed yet. If I get to bed by 1am I should be fine.
Today’s title quote is from “Rebirth of the Cool” by The Afghan Whigs from their 1992 album “Uptown Avondale”.
On May 13, Wednesday morning my therapist reached out and asked if we might meet at 1:50, rather than 2pm as she had another obligation. I agreed. Usually when I have something scheduled later in the day I don’t go out at all because I never know what will happen and I’m worried I’ll miss what I have planned, but it was expected to rain later and I really wanted to get outside again and to the park. I told myself not to worry because really I just needed to get outside and I didn’t have to go far. When I got outside I headed to Starbucks. I got a larger drink than what I usually get these days; I got an iced grande dirty soy chai and I guess from Tuesday’s trip that I could probably get to the park and home before my appointment. I walked to the park up Fort Washington. On Tuesday I had cut through the 181st Street station, which has an elevator that takes you up the hill I was now walking up, but it was fine. I walked by Bennett Park and nearly stopped there but I just kept going.
The weather was nicer than I expected and I was in a good mood. Fort Tryon Park has long been my favorite NYC park and it’s just so beautiful. I didn’t stay in the park long though, because again, there was an expectation of rain, an appointment I needed to attend, and along with all that, I inhaled a beautiful flowery scent that seemed to be lilacs, though I couldn’t see any – only for this to cause me to start coughing, which I couldn’t stop. I was very grateful that I got that beverage and that I’d barely sipped it on my walk because it helped on my way home. I had taken the A Train home the previous day as it’s part of my therapy to ride trains, but even though I felt up to walking I took the train for all the reasons I just listed for not staying in the park. It was the right call. I was able to get home, get cleaned up and prepare for my appointment, which went very well.
I didn’t go out after that. I just relaxed. I did watch the “The Punisher: One Last Kill”, which I enjoyed. It made me cry. It’s brutal but so is the character, and my only real complaints were that it felt too similar to earlier Punisher stories even if it made a point of taking the character in a new direction and that it had very few ties to any of the other Marvel stories featuring the character of late. But everything else was impressive and a counter argument could also be made for what was or wasn’t onscreen, so I think it works.
For the record, I think my preferred viewing order for 2027 set M.C.U. projects goes like this:
01 Daredevil: Born Again Season 1 (9 episodes) 02 Captain America: Brave New World 03 The Punisher: One Last Kill 04 The Fantastic 4: First Steps 05 Daredevil: Born Again Season 2 (8 episodes) 06 Thunderbolts*
I slept well, more or less Wednesday. I slept well into the morning, getting up around 9:30am. Aaron was gone for the day. Another report about rain on the way and lower temperatures, I again wanted to get to the park. I took the A train there and back as I wasn’t really dressed for the weather but didn’t want to change and I had some pain in my ankles, that comes and goes, which I plan on talking to my doctor about at our appointment next month. Again, I didn’t stay long at the park. It was more about getting outside. And this marked 13 days out in a row! So that was nice. And I later learned that I’ve lost a pound. That’s a big accomplishment for me. I’ve never once tried to lose weight before, so to see any success is really nice. And while it’s only a pound, I bet other health related things have also improved, given the changes in my diet and being more active.
Once I was home, I was home for the day. I later traded texts with Nathan, which is the first we’ve spoken since Sunday. We seem to be getting along, which is nice. I worked on my site a bit. I’m getting a lot done, but it’s all on stuff that I can’t display until it’s DONE and there’s still so much to do. That’s a little frustrating.
I slept well again. Very well. I also lingered in the bedroom for longer than I expected because Aaron begged me for cuddles. lol I had a smoothie when I finally stumbled out of bed. It’s sunny outside, which is nice. I don’t love being in the sun, but I prefer sunny to overcast.
I just found out I’m in a talent show tomorrow. Aaron says I should read a poem but I’m not sure which piece I should do. I’ll try to look that over, but I’m getting a migraine. That’s sucks, but it’s also been great not having any in several days, and this just means my medication is working. I used to have them nearly every day and the medication I take cuts whatever number you have in half, so I’m likely due for one. I’ll take something for it in a minute. I have so many things I want to do and work on today. We’ll see how that ends up.
We’re leaving for Florida next week. I knew it was happening but it’s creeped up on me all the same. Hopefully that goes well. I realized this morning I’d have to not work on my site while I’m there because my laptop is dead and I can’t take this computer with me (it’s huge) and I can’t really get a lot done via my phone. But Aaron just assured me that we’ll find something that works. He’s brilliant, so I don’t doubt that we’ll find an answer.
Okay. I should get moving.
Today’s lyric headline comes from the song “Emperor’s New Clothes” by Panic! At The Disco, from their 2016 album, “Death of a Bachelor”.
Aaron and I had a lovely afternoon with our new friend Nathan. Nathan used to be a customer of mine when I worked at Starbucks, but we didn’t know each other then. I mean, he remembers me, but I don’t remember him. I’m never good at that stuff. Lots of laughter. Lots of easy affection. And a lot of work being done behind our eyes. I think each of us was advancing forward through personal struggles and it was rewarding, memorable and relatively easy. And I expect we’ll be seeing more of Nathan.
Because we had company I wasn’t eating, so I’m doing that now and will likely be up a bit later, because I can’t lay down after I eat. But I’m not bothered. It really was wonderful, Aaron agrees, we discussed it all and we’re very happy with how things went today and I think overall we had a wonderful weekend in general. I know that despite some migraines, I’ve been feeling a lot of success on a lot of levels lately, and it feels really good.
I slept well. Another morning of Aaron cuddles. We spoke to Mary Ellen, my sister Janice and my grandmother Frances for Mother’s Day. And I went for a walk. 8th Day outside in a row! I walked to the grocery store for salad dressing and picked up a few other items, all healthier than I sometimes do, and I wasn’t even tempted for sweets or chips. That’s not always the case. Aaron cleaned up a bunch of stuff that only he could do and we just seem to be having a nice day.
My haul from the grocery store. 05-10-26.
On my walk, I listened to a mix of Tori Amos songs, and I put on the Tori shirt that Sean gave me 25 years ago. It was just 10 minutes or so of giving him a moment. It was nice. Respectful. Healing. Sometimes I need to do that with people I’ve lost along the way.
Saturday Morning. 05-09-26.In our elevator on our way out. 05-09-26.
Our trip to Allentown, Pennsylvania was a success. We picked up our friend Joanna from Starbucks and off we went across the GWB, into NJ and on to Pennsylvania, where we attended the Lehigh Valley Chorale’s 10th Anniversary concert, “The Road Home”, which was wonderfully quirky and really inspiring. The show was held at the Miller Symphony Hall (23 N 6th Street · Allentown PA 18101), a really great space! The director, Nick, who we all agreed, knocked it out of the park, will be coming in to lead the Stonewall Chorale over the next year and then carry the choir forward after Cynthia resigns. This was the first time I’d ever really spoken to Joanna but I’d seen her perform with the choir many times. We had other friends coming to the show but they were caught in traffic so they missed the first act. After the show I got to meet Nick and then Aaron, Joanna, Emily, Linda and their daughter and I all headed for our reservation at Simpatico (27 N 7th St, Allentown, PA 18101), an Italian restaurant, where our company was fantastic, our food was delicious, and our waiter smelled really bad. Oh well. I had never met Linda and this was the first time I really got to talk to her and her wife. They’re big Star Wars / Marvel fans and I loved talking to them about queer cinema.
With Joanna, Aaron, Linda & Emily at Simpatico in Allentown, PA. 05-06-26
After the restaurant we said goodnight and drove Joanna back to the city and returned home. Aaron and I had a great conversation about where we are, where we are headed, and how our goals, which had been diverted during the pandemic of 2020 could finally be continued now and I’m here for it! I know he’s excited and so am I. But I’m tired. So I showered and started getting ready for bed.
About to shower. 05-09-26.Say goodnight. 05-09-26.
