Yesterday, Tuesday (July 7), I woke up feeling like shit. My head hurt. My energy level was not good. I’d had a rough night with exhausting symptoms. I slept from 4 to 11, but it felt like I’d not slept at all. I was looking rough. But I decided I needed to get outside. I had some errands to run. I got up, put on some music, shaved, showered and got dressed.
During all that I started to feel better, though I also started thinking about my mom. This Sunday will mark 5 years since her death. My mom used to give me trinkets that featured an elephant theme, due to my delight at being gifted my favorite childhood cup, which had featured a depiction of just such an animal. I couldn’t pronounce the word elephant as a kid, and referred to the creature as a “phin-E-et”. I think I have about 10 objects she gave me, though I got rid of some which I knew I would never need and I don’t have room in my home for too much clutter. The last elephant she gave me was a small green charm which she gave me just hours before she died. A year after she died, I was on my first cruise with Aaron; we flew to Spain, left on the ship from Barcelona (Spain), to Marseille (France), Nice, Monte-Carlo, Monaco, Florence (Italy), Pisa, Taormina (Sicily), Naples, Pompeii and finally Rome. Everywhere we went I saw elephants. A cab that picked us up had an elephant charm on the dash. A seller of bracelets insisted I take one at no charge, which featured an elephant, which was not on the other bracelets – without me explaining the significance. I also made gestures to my mom throughout the trip: I toasted her, I lit a candle in a French cathedral, and I ate black cherry gelato in her honor as she’d loved black cherry. It felt special, this trip, and its relation to my mom.
I decided I needed to do something similar while running my errands and wore one of the elephants she’d gifted me out and about, which I’d never done before. I walked to the post office to mail the destroyed drugs / bottle to the pharmacy, who’d replaced my damaged prescription. Then I headed to my local pharmacy to pick up a different prescription, noticing a bakery on the way as someone picked up a cake; my mother made fancy cakes for birthdays, weddings and things; but perhaps because I had so much cake as a child, I’ve never really loved it as an adult. Finally, I decided to head to Starbucks (181st & Fort Washington) where I ordered a tall unsweetened black iced tea. My mother never went to Starbucks but she loved unsweetened black iced tea, which is something I drink when I think about her, and something that I enjoy. I actually despise sweetened black iced tea; I think it is disgusting. I had them write my mother’s name on the cup and enjoyed it while I walked home in a sudden shower. My mother also loved the rain.
Later, Aaron and I continued our Re-Trek with Star Trek: The Next Generation S03E08 “The Price”. The romantic storyline moves a little fast for me, but otherwise this is a great episode, with a lot of Trek continuity. The episode introduced the Barzans who were brought back in Star Trek: Discovery. The Barzan Wormhole and the Ferengi lost in the Delta Quadrant, Arridor & Goss later return in Star Trek: Voyager S03E5 “False Profits”. And the infamous scene featuring Beverly Crusher and Deanna Troi working out in sleazy sci/fi outfits is later hysterically called out via an episode of Star Trek: Lower Decks, which put 2 male crewmembers in the same clothes in the same workout routine. So this was fun.
Later I continued with X-Men: The Animated Series, watching all 4 installments of the Dark Phoenix Saga. The story isn’t bad, but I find the adaptation frustrating. The Inner Circle, never referred to as The Hellfire Club, isn’t explained; they just dress oddly for no apparent reason. And the elements that may have worked are repeated endlessly, with Cyclops repeatedly saying “Use the power of your mind!” and both Scott and Logan repeatedly saying that can’t kill Jean, despite her begging them to do so and with the universe in jeopardy. The film “X-Men: The Last Stand”, which partially adapts this story has many, many problems, but having revisited this version (which I’d seen when it originally aired – something I can’t say for most of this series), I’m more forgiving of certain elements there – including Logan killing Jean when she asks and he knows what is at stake.
I went to bed around 10 and slept until 6. I got up, feeling well rested. I worked on a project. I shaved and showered and then cuddled with Aaron for an hour. I got up again and had breakfast, a pita with hummus, egg wrap and lettuce + Italian salad dressing. I got dressed. Later I had a “silent migraine”; that’s when you have the visual disturbance that often leads to a migraine, but no pain actually arrives after it dissipates. Still, I lay down in the dark after taking the appropriate medication and waited for the worst to pass. I had a cherry smoothie, which was delicious. My servings of fruits and veggies today is going well.
Later I watched another X-Men episode with “Orphan’s End”, which serves as a sort of coda to the Phoenix / Dark Phoenix storyline. And then I watched the new X-Men ’97 episode, S02E04 “Rise of Apocalypse – Part 2”, which was exceptional. I wept. X-Men ’97 is a brilliant series and makes revisiting the 1992 show even more fun, there were so many episodes of the older series that I’d never seen that resonate in the new, plus the knowledge I’ve gained from the Marvel films, with references to Kang / Victor Timely, Celestials, etc. This is fun!
Today’s journal entry title song quote comes from the 2018 song “I Didn’t Know” by Skinshape.