Journal – Page 3 – BALD JASON'S GAY GOTH BOY BLOG

July 17, 2026

“My Superstitious Games”

What happened this week? Well, I got outside a few times but stayed in a lot as well, mostly because we keep getting alerts that our air quality is poor and on some days there have been alerts that it could be dangerous for anyone to go outside. Nightmarish stuff.

Wednesday I watched the new X-Men ’97 episode (S02E05 “Weapon X, Lies, and DVDs”) and another of the original animated series (S03E19 “Love in Vain”) – which means I have 2 seasons left of the original show and 4 more of the current season of the newer program. Later that night I had a bit of a freakout about food. I wanted to cut for the first time in a long time, and many the things I would normally do to ride that wave out weren’t possible. It was incredibly hot outside. Our water was being worked on so I couldn’t take a shower. And I couldn’t actually tackle food because the water line is in the kitchen, so there was a guy in there working on it, and the counters were covered with his tools. It was tricky, but I was able to communicate with Aaron, who was wonderful.

Once I’d calmed down, we started watching Season 3 of Heartstopper with Aaron. I watched the initial season in a single sitting before getting Aaron onto it. We binged Season 2 together the day it was released but I’ve put off watching Season 3 because I knew it had a major storyline about disordered eating – and I was worried that could be triggering (which it was) – but the film that wraps up the whole series was released today so now’s the time to watch it all.

The thing is, at a certain point, the character in question speaks to his parents about it, having written down his thoughts in advance and asks for help. I did that too, 30 years ago, in late May of 1996. The character also says that he feels like something horrible will happen if he eats. That was jarring. That’s what happens with me. And I’ve never heard anyone else describe it that way. I told my therapist about this on Thursday and she said she’d also never heard anyone describe it like that. The reason is, the character also has OCD (which I don’t), so he has all these rules in place about how and when he can eat. But that’s where we are different. My disordered eating is the result of trauma, related to food, but the food part is essentially a symptom of my PTSD. Still, it was very similar. And hearing it outloud on a TV show I was crying. And Aaron, who has heard me all this time, he was crying. And we were also both crying because the character’s boyfriend is in a similar position to what Aaron has had to learn and struggle with due to my condition. It really resonated. Due to the ongoing story we watched the season in bursts, rather than in one go, so I can make sure I’m okay. But we finished the last episode a bit ago (On Friday, July 17, 2026) and we’ll watch the movie tomorrow. The season has been rough, but very good and I’m hoping the movie wraps the stories up nicely.

As mentioned already, I saw my therapist (in person) on Thursday. I wore a Catherine Wheel shirt. I’ve really enjoyed getting dressed up and going out lately. Maybe it’s because I’ve lost some weight? Or maybe it’s because I’ve come to the conclusion that wearing sunblock, which I’ve always hated but needed due to my vitiligo, is probably why I look so much younger than basically everyone I grew up with – so I look forward to wearing it now. My appointment went well. I had a lot to talk about with the TV story and how I’d dedicated the black iced tea to my mom the week before. She was surprised that it has been 5 years since my mother died. We’d had 2 or 3 weeks off from each other when I told her originally, and I will always remember her shock that my mother had passed, and how I was dealing with it, and all the things that came with that.

I went to bed early last night. I didn’t really sleep well though, doing my old split shift routine, where I sleep for 4 hours, get up for a few, then lay back down for another couple of hours. It’s fine. I felt rested. And I ate well today. A lot of fruit, veggies, water, smoothies, nuts and seeds. I just ordered some more varieties to try in the coming days. I’m very tired but wanting to finish this before I sleep. I did several collages for my photos section. I wrote a new poem the other day, though I’m not sure I like it. I need to start posing more poetry again soon, and movie reviews. I was doing so well at first but it’s become a bit intimidating; I don’t like trying to find where I left off – I’m so disorganized!

Today’s journal entry title music quote is from “Crank” by Catherine Wheel, from their 1993 album “Chrome”. I didn’t discover the band until 1993, but I found them by randomly picking up their first CD – and they became my favorite group. I also didn’t learn that the second album existed until 1995 when they used to play this song at City Club in Detroit. I was so associated with the song that one of my friends (Steve) came rushing to tell me that my song was being played. I’ve probably shared this song here before and likely will again. Love this band. Love this track. Love this album.

July 14, 2026July 14, 2026

“This Is Not An Exit”

On Saturday (July 11) Aaron and I met up with Robin Finnell, one of “our lesbians”, whom we met on a Caribbean cruise a couple of years ago. That particular voyage was filled with assorted disappointments, and also a lot of fun, but the best part was the friends we made at the queer get togethers nearly every night of the trip; people we still keep in touch with, 6 of whom have visited us in New York. Robin was passing through for work, letting us know in advance that she’d love to get dinner with us and that she wanted to see the Stonewall Inn. I arranged for us to have a late dinner together at Fellini Cucina in the village, within walking distance of Stonewall and solving all sorts of issues. We met there around 8. The food was good. The company was excellent. The walk to Stonewall was relaxing. And to see Robin enjoying it all was wonderful. We walked Robin to her car and headed home.

Sunday, I did very little. We had Bernard, one of our repeat repairmen over to fix our defective water pump, which we expected to be a relatively fast job, but it wasn’t. He needed to get parts, which took several hours and while he finished that day (which we’re very thankful for), we didn’t really have time to do much together. We had hoped to watch at least one episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation together. Instead I mostly played a game on my phone and watched YouTube videos / podcasts about serial killers. Many of which concerned neighborhoods in Michigan that I was more than a little familiar with. Creepy. I’ve never been into much of anything related to true crime, but this was oddly entertaining.

Monday, Aaron invited me to see “Oh, Mary!” with him on Broadway. I knew he was going because it had been on the calendar for a long time, but he’d not invited me before – as it was originally to be a day out with an old friend of his. Honestly, I’d very much wanted to go and was a little miffed I hadn’t been invited before. But due to not having been invited, I stayed up all night on Sunday/ Monday, so I was now exhausted, and turned the offer down. He was sad that I didn’t feel I could go so I told him I’d tough it out – only right after that, I learned that the cast had just changed again, the people I wanted to see in it, were no longer there. He saw my disappointment and said he’d find others to go with him, which was kind – and for the best. I really was exhausted.

Oh. Also, I watched the penultimate episode of this season of The Vampire Lestat, S01E06 “Montreal”, which adapted elements of “Merrick” in shocking new ways that had me in tears! The story also featured references to Cortland Mayfair, so a cross series reference from “Interview with the Vampire” to “Mayfair Witches”, which I will most likely try to watch again in the near future. The ending, which felt entirely original to this adaptation, albeit thematically linked to events from several of the books, left us on quite a cliffhanger and I’m curious to see how the season will be resolved on Sunday. I’m not looking forward to waiting 2 years for another season. I guess Season 3 of Mayfair Witches will out next year, which is another reason to give the series another shot, extending my association with this so-called “Immortal Universe”. And again, I feel like how you watch it all is the first 2 seasons of “Interview”, then the Mayfair Witches, then the 1 season of Talamasca, and then back to Lestat. But I’ll likely test that theory out at some point.

I spoke to my grandmother. I brought up the serial killer documentaries I’d watched and I was shocked to hear her name some of the killers, explaining that not only had she been around when many of the killings took place (as had I), but she owned books on the subject, including “The Michigan Murders”, explaining that those murders (just before my time) had terrified her as she worried about her daughters on a regular basis. Apparently my rather morbid weekend sojourn is something shared by various members of my family. Fascinating. She’s always surprising me.

I slept relatively well Monday night. This morning, Aaron showed me how to download an app on my phone that is connected to our new scale. I weighed myself and it gave me all sorts of information. Apparently I’m still overweight, but for the first time in at least 6 years, I’m under 200 pounds. 198.4, to be exact. And that’s definitely progress. I was 207 at a doctor’s appointment about a month ago. I know I’ve been a little more active but my diet has also changed quite a bit, so I’d guess that’s why I’ve improved. I believe I topped out around 220lbs – a little higher maybe? Something like that. So I’ve lost about 21 pounds. For years and years I weighed around 170, but I also didn’t look or feel healthy, so 180 sounds good to me. But I’ll also consult my doctors and see what the team thinks.

Today’s journal title song quote is from “This Is Not An Exit”, the final song from the “American Psycho” musical adaptation of the 1991 Bret Easton Ellis novel, which also features the song title as it’s final line. I was thinking of this on Saturday when I snapped a picture of just such a sign at the Stonewall Inn.

July 10, 2026July 11, 2026

“Don’t Lose Sight of Who You Are”

On Thursday, July 9, I got out for another walk. I ended up at Starbucks again, with another unsweetened black iced tea. I think this will be my new drink for awhile. It has zero sugar, an improvement on my signature drink order, which is nice, but also reminds me of my mom. Oh. And I got a chocolate chip cookie, which was delicious.

I stayed up late. I got some work done. And I finally watched Scream 7, which wasn’t horrible, but also wasn’t one of the better entries, IMO. It successfully brings Neve Campbell’s Sydney back into the mix with a creative way to bring back deceased characters with lots of fun callbacks to previous entries, but it also felt a bit empty. Also, one of the issues I tend to have with these movies are the motives of the assorted Ghostface killers, which vary from inventive and creepy, to ridiculous and pointless, with the new entry leaning more into the latter camp. My ranking of the films is as follows, best to worst:

01 Scream (5)
02 Scream VI
03 Scream 2
04 Scream (1)
05 Scream 7
06 Scream 4
07 Scream 3

I mostly like Scream 3 more than 4, but it features a plot hole that annoys me to this day. I also think of Scream 5 & 6 as being basically equal, but again, I like the killers in Scream 5 more than 6 – and 5 feels like the most balanced of the films IMO. I wouldn’t say that any of them are horrible, but the bottom 3 are markedly less enjoyable for me than the top 4.

Additionally, Scream 4 filmed in Ann Arbor, Michigan when I lived there. And Scream 5 moves events to New York, after I moved there. So, it kinda feels like the movies are stalking me. lol

Today I watched another episode of TNG with Aaron: S03E09 “The Vengeance Factor”, which features Lisa Wilcox in a guest role. She played the main protagonist, Alice, in Nightmare on Elm Street 4 & 5; I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in anything else. Of course Wes Craven was the creative force behind original Nightmare on Elm Street, and he also directed Scream 1-4. Wacky.

I also got out for another short walk. I got some more Starbucks. And I’ve eaten well today too. I had my now usual pita with lettuce and hummus and Italian salad dressing, plus the unsweetened black iced tea, and also had 2 cherry smoothies. It feels like I’m kicking ass with the getting outside more and the improved eating habits.

And I had sex. 🙂

I gave up on the dark romantic fiction for now. I wanted a change. A few years ago I was re-reading the Wicked Years, with the goal of reading the follow-up trilogy, which I’d never read before, but as I was re-reading “Out of Oz”, it was announced that the author would be releasing 2 more tie-in books, set during “Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West”, which sort of took the wind out of my sails. The first of these volumes is mine now, and the latter will be out in september. But I started reading “Elphie: A Wicked Childhood” last night, and so far I’m enjoying it.

Today’s journal entry title song quote is from “I’m Not That Girl” from the Wicked Soundtrack. I prefer the film soundtrack to the stage musical. Oddly, I was barely able to tolerate the stage musical and its soundtrack, but I loved the film and its soundtrack, which was as much a surprise to me as it was to anyone else who knows me. I didn’t love the second film, but I also felt it was a huge improvement on the second act of the stage musical.

July 8, 2026July 8, 2026

“I Didn’t Know That You Would Leave So Soon”

Yesterday, Tuesday (July 7), I woke up feeling like shit. My head hurt. My energy level was not good. I’d had a rough night with exhausting symptoms. I slept from 4 to 11, but it felt like I’d not slept at all. I was looking rough. But I decided I needed to get outside. I had some errands to run. I got up, put on some music, shaved, showered and got dressed.

During all that I started to feel better, though I also started thinking about my mom. This Sunday will mark 5 years since her death. My mom used to give me trinkets that featured an elephant theme, due to my delight at being gifted my favorite childhood cup, which had featured a depiction of just such an animal. I couldn’t pronounce the word elephant as a kid, and referred to the creature as a “phin-E-et”. I think I have about 10 objects she gave me, though I got rid of some which I knew I would never need and I don’t have room in my home for too much clutter. The last elephant she gave me was a small green charm which she gave me just hours before she died. A year after she died, I was on my first cruise with Aaron; we flew to Spain, left on the ship from Barcelona (Spain), to Marseille (France), Nice, Monte-Carlo, Monaco, Florence (Italy), Pisa, Taormina (Sicily), Naples, Pompeii and finally Rome. Everywhere we went I saw elephants. A cab that picked us up had an elephant charm on the dash. A seller of bracelets insisted I take one at no charge, which featured an elephant, which was not on the other bracelets – without me explaining the significance. I also made gestures to my mom throughout the trip: I toasted her, I lit a candle in a French cathedral, and I ate black cherry gelato in her honor as she’d loved black cherry. It felt special, this trip, and its relation to my mom.

I decided I needed to do something similar while running my errands and wore one of the elephants she’d gifted me out and about, which I’d never done before. I walked to the post office to mail the destroyed drugs / bottle to the pharmacy, who’d replaced my damaged prescription. Then I headed to my local pharmacy to pick up a different prescription, noticing a bakery on the way as someone picked up a cake; my mother made fancy cakes for birthdays, weddings and things; but perhaps because I had so much cake as a child, I’ve never really loved it as an adult. Finally, I decided to head to Starbucks (181st & Fort Washington) where I ordered a tall unsweetened black iced tea. My mother never went to Starbucks but she loved unsweetened black iced tea, which is something I drink when I think about her, and something that I enjoy. I actually despise sweetened black iced tea; I think it is disgusting. I had them write my mother’s name on the cup and enjoyed it while I walked home in a sudden shower. My mother also loved the rain.

Later, Aaron and I continued our Re-Trek with Star Trek: The Next Generation S03E08 “The Price”. The romantic storyline moves a little fast for me, but otherwise this is a great episode, with a lot of Trek continuity. The episode introduced the Barzans who were brought back in Star Trek: Discovery. The Barzan Wormhole and the Ferengi lost in the Delta Quadrant, Arridor & Goss later return in Star Trek: Voyager S03E5 “False Profits”. And the infamous scene featuring Beverly Crusher and Deanna Troi working out in sleazy sci/fi outfits is later hysterically called out via an episode of Star Trek: Lower Decks, which put 2 male crewmembers in the same clothes in the same workout routine. So this was fun.

Later I continued with X-Men: The Animated Series, watching all 4 installments of the Dark Phoenix Saga. The story isn’t bad, but I find the adaptation frustrating. The Inner Circle, never referred to as The Hellfire Club, isn’t explained; they just dress oddly for no apparent reason. And the elements that may have worked are repeated endlessly, with Cyclops repeatedly saying “Use the power of your mind!” and both Scott and Logan repeatedly saying that can’t kill Jean, despite her begging them to do so and with the universe in jeopardy. The film “X-Men: The Last Stand”, which partially adapts this story has many, many problems, but having revisited this version (which I’d seen when it originally aired – something I can’t say for most of this series), I’m more forgiving of certain elements there – including Logan killing Jean when she asks and he knows what is at stake.

I went to bed around 10 and slept until 6. I got up, feeling well rested. I worked on a project. I shaved and showered and then cuddled with Aaron for an hour. I got up again and had breakfast, a pita with hummus, egg wrap and lettuce + Italian salad dressing. I got dressed. Later I had a “silent migraine”; that’s when you have the visual disturbance that often leads to a migraine, but no pain actually arrives after it dissipates. Still, I lay down in the dark after taking the appropriate medication and waited for the worst to pass. I had a cherry smoothie, which was delicious. My servings of fruits and veggies today is going well.

Later I watched another X-Men episode with “Orphan’s End”, which serves as a sort of coda to the Phoenix / Dark Phoenix storyline. And then I watched the new X-Men ’97 episode, S02E04 “Rise of Apocalypse – Part 2”, which was exceptional. I wept. X-Men ’97 is a brilliant series and makes revisiting the 1992 show even more fun, there were so many episodes of the older series that I’d never seen that resonate in the new, plus the knowledge I’ve gained from the Marvel films, with references to Kang / Victor Timely, Celestials, etc. This is fun!

Today’s journal entry title song quote comes from the 2018 song “I Didn’t Know” by Skinshape.

July 6, 2026

“I’m a Lonely One”

Sunday and Monday I watched more television. I also had my teeth cleaned. The above image is of me in my dentist’s office at 827 11th Avenue in Manhattan. I slept well the night before and dreamed of Lestat, which I caught up on the day before and I’ve come to the conclusion that I love it. I also caught up on X-Men ’97, continued where I left off with X-Men: The Animated Series and watched 2 episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation with Aaron.

Here’s what I watched:

Star Trek: The Next Generation S03E06 Booby Trap
Star Trek: The Next Generation S03E07 The Enemy

X-Men S03E08 Savage Land, Strange Heart – Part 1
X-Men S03E09 Savage Land, Strange Heart – Part 2
X-Men ’97 S02E03 Rise of Apocalypse – Part 1

The Vampire Lestat S01E04 The Devil’s Road
The Vampire Lestat S01E05 New York

TNG S03E06 “Booby Trap”. I had remembered this episode as a bit cringey as Geordie LaForge stumbles in love and forms an odd and nearly romantic relationship with a hologram, but I remembered nothing of the rest of the episode. Aaron said the same thing and we were entertained by the episode. It marks the first appearances of Julie Warner as Christy Henshaw and Susan Gibney as the holographic (and later real world) version of Dr. Leah Brahms; Gibney also later portrays Commander / Captain Erika Benteen in 2 episodes of DS9.

I always remember TNG S03E07 “The Enemy” as an episode that my sister Janice saw before I did, and how she spoke of it. The episode marks the first appearance of Andreas Katsulas as Tomalak, who later returns in the role at least twice, though they’re not really him, per say, if I remember correctly, one being an illusion and another being an alternate future take. Both of these episodes feature Colm Meaney as Miles O’Brien. It’s nice to see the recurring cast start to come together here and Season 3 really does feel like where the series starts to gel. And while that’s the common wisdom among fans, in retrospect, its insane that it took more than 50 episodes for the series to really get reliably good, especially since most of the series of the current era ever reach that number of episodes at all, with only Lower Decks and Discovery making 50 or more; Lower Decks ended with 50 while Discovery ended with 65.

The X-Men episodes, the “Savage Land, Strange Heart” 2-part story is unlikely to be anyone’s favorite, but I thought some of the writing was really clever (“Who died and made you Cyclops?”) and I appreciated the explanation of Sauron’s origin. I just don’t care about the Savage Land in general.

The X-Men ’97 episode continues the winning streak of this series. I’ve never X-Men stories featuring Apocalypse, so I’ve been dreading this new season, but so far I’ve loved all of it. If it were only Apocalypse, I’d probably be bored, but the thing about X-Men ’97 is that it feels like the big payoff for all the stories that came in the previous Animated Series – with fewer episodes, they don’t seem to hold anything back, and it’s all the better for it.

The Vampire Lestat episodes really knocked it out of the park for me. Things that I doubted about the season came into focus, both with the parts that were adapted from various Anne Rice novels, and others that are wholly original to this interpretation of the material. Very impressive. This season, and the series as a whole is probably best in a binge model vs. a weekly layout. I believe the Immortal Universe shows play out like this:

01 Interview with the Vampire Season 1: Part I
02 Interview with the Vampire Season 2: Part II
03 Mayfair Witches Season 1
04 Mayfair Witches Season 2
05 Mayfair Witches Season 3 ?
06 Talamasca: The Secret Order
07 Interview with the Vampire Season 3: The Vampire Lestat

The present day scenes in the first 2 seasons of Interview seem to be set over 11 days in 2022, ending shortly after the publication of the book in 2023. Season 2 of Mayfair Witches references the publication of the book and features a guest spot by a vampire introduced in Season 2 of Interview. Talamasca is set after the publication of the book with guest spots by a few characters; a later episode may feature a Lestat tune. Season 3, The Vampire Lestat seems to be set 2025.

Having said all of that, the only series I can wholeheartedly recommend is Interview / Lestat. Talamasca comes close to being very good at times but never quite arrives IMO, and from what I’ve seen of Mayfair Witches, it is a horrible adaptation of The Lives of the Mayfair Witches series (which are my favorite Anne Rice books, along with “Cry to Heaven”) and the series also features some truly dreadful “acting”. I may go back to it at some point, just so I can say I saw everything.

Today’s journal title song quote is from “All Fall Down”, theme from “The Vampire Lestat”, performed by Sam Reid as Lestat de Lioncourt.

July 4, 2026July 4, 2026

“I Don’t Have Nothing to Say”

I did stay home today. I played Mario Kart with Chris and Tristan and Aaron when it was time, but they had been out in the heat and I think it had made Aaron a little cranky; he didn’t have a chance to clean up in the same way that they had, and we also had far less time together than originally scheduled. I got some work done on several projects. And I tried to catch up on some of the TV I’ve fallen behind on. I watched:

X-Men ’97 S02E01 Days of Past Future
X-Men ’97 S02E02 A Force to Be Reckoned With
The Vampire Lestat S01E03 or Interview with the Vampire S03E03 Toronto

The new season of X-Men ’97 is still as good as the first, with several moments that made me cheer and / or tear up. But I cry during everything, so YMMV. Lestat continues to be a very different (and slightly less even) adaptation than Interview With the Vampire. It’s not bad but I’m not certain that some of the new framing actually works, and won’t know until I can see the completed picture. There are many changes to the source material, like the previous adaptation, but there were many lines that I knew were actually from the book, so I’m engaged with the material and curious to see where the series goes next. I do have another episode, with another airing tomorrow, but I think I’m done for the night – though I may watch them tomorrow? I also have another X-Men ’97 episode to watch, with another out this Tuesday, but I think I’m done with that as well for now. I’m enjoying both series and want them to last – only both have relatively short seasons; Season 1 of Lestat (which is how I think of it) is only 7 episodes long and will be done 2 weeks from tomorrow, while X-Men ’97 has 9 episodes this season and will be done 5 weeks from Tuesday. And I have plenty more to watch, which is nice, but is also starting to feel like work, rather than fun.

It was raining, but I think it has stopped.

This journal title song quote is brought to you from “Raining in Baltimore” by Counting Crows, from their 1993 debut studio album, “August and Everything After”, which never fails to conjure memories of that autumn when I was dating Jeff Rodriguez, but also Shawn Foreman (circa summer of 2000), who loved them. I’ve got lots of memories tied to various songs from the album as well, including this one, which I tried to mix with a spoken word piece (which tied into the lyrics of the song rather nicely) – and which likely would have worked, only I got sidetracked by another project and just never got back to it.

July 4, 2026July 4, 2026

“God Knows I’ve Tried”

Yesterday we picked up Aaron’s sister Tristan & brother-in-law Chris from LaGuardia and hustled them over to The Hudson for some picturesque lunch – only the Hudson had a delayed opening that day and wouldn’t be business ready until 3, the time of our show, so we had to make other arrangements. I got an everything bagel and a short (in size), and oddly, poorly made drink from Starbucks and we headed down to the theater district. We were able to use Aaron’s Parking Magic, which is both powerful and legendary, to get a spot directly across from the theater. We walked a few spots over so the others could eat at IMASA NORI Sushi Izakaya, then headed back to Studio 54 to see The Rocky Horror Show at 3.

The show was delightful, entertaining and fun. I’m more than a little familiar with the film, having befriended several Rocky enthusiasts over the years (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), and I wasn’t sure how I’d react to the stage show, but it was an “absolute pleasure”. I was slightly bummed that Juliette Lewis was no longer in the cast as she was the main draw for me, but everyone was either good or great, with no disappointing performances IMO, which can pop in the most highly regarded productions, so that was appreciated. It was must have been difficult as the AC Crisis / AC-gate was in full effect, and the theater was so warm that when we first entered, I regretted not bringing my personal fan(s) in from the car.

As I said, all were good or great, but Luke Evans, who I’ve seen in several movie and TV roles, was astounding. I actually didn’t know he could sing. He took Frank and made it his own – and there were several inspired touches that really moved me, as the mostly comedic piece has always done, but in surprising new ways here. Everyone in our group enjoyed it, and from the sounds of the audience, we were in very good company. The woman sitting one empty chair over to my left was also from Michigan. which made 5 of us in a row. She’s one of those people that pops into the city now and again and sees multiple musicals – this was her 6th on this trip. I love talking to people who sit next to me at these shows as they’re usually up for such conversations and they’re very nearly always interesting – and sometimes really, really incredible. I’ll never forget the people sitting next to us as “The Inheritance”; to be at such a classically queer show, surrounded by gay elders was so impressive and memorable.

After the show we took visiting couple to their hotel where there was some odd drama about their room, which wasn’t ready despite it being hours after check-in, and when we got to the room, there was no AC, with a hastily and poorly assembled AC unit on the floor, attached to the top floor window (leaving the window open for all the 100 degree air to get in) and a puddle on the floor. They were able to switch rooms for a larger space with AC and a better view. But the staff was rude, which was a little shocking given how they’d fucked up – but I feel like there was a lot of drama going on there behind the scenes and they were all very unhappy.

We met Bernard at The Uptown Garrison (or just outside it). Bernard is easily one of my most favorite people. He’s one of Aaron’s best friends and we’ve now known each other for nearly 15 years. That’s crazy. Another Michigander, he didn’t live in the city when we moved here and didn’t arrive until 2 years later, in 2013. Still, we also get along, and he makes nearly everything easier. The only exception I can think of is my own thing – which is he idles during movies and if I have anything like that in my line of sight, I can’t concentrate on what I’m trying to watching, which ironically, 8 years ago today, happened in a theater when we took him to see “Solo: A Star Wars Story” at AMC Kip’s Bay (570 2nd Ave) – and though I asked him to stop several times, he just couldn’t. I missed a good chunk of the movie. I tried to tough it out because this was the last showing of the movie in New York, but it was actually a bit distressing and I left. Which then led to me fighting the throng of participants striving to get to river to see the fireworks, as I tried to find my way to a train that might get me home. It was unpleasant and stays with me despite the years that have passed.

The Uptown Garrison is generally one of my favorite restaurants and while our service as pleasant and the conversation / company exceptional, this was probably me least satisfying meal there. Aaron’s food was bad, which I didn’t realize until the end. My food was subpar, but not horrible. I did get a fun cocktail called “Planet of the Apricots” which felt appropriate as we’d spent the afternoon with musical aliens singing about several different planets. There was no, or almost no AC. They seemed to be running low on ice. Everyone was hot and sweaty. I’m sure everyone did their best and I’m not upset and we surely made the most of it.

After that, Aaron took us to get some FroYo, which I abstained from as my stomach needed time to recover. I’d not eaten all my serving at dinner, but I didn’t want to be moving as much as we were, and the heat was finally starting to get to me. We stopped into our apartment, which Bernard had not seen completed after the renovations and which Tristan and Chris had never seen. Everyone approved. Then we headed to the Inwood Billiards Cafe. I was worn out but intended to push through as it was the last event of the day and I was having a good time with everyone. Only the cafe was upstairs – with faulty AC; you could get some cool air if you sat in this or that spot, but it was fleeting and uncomfortable. And my stomach was very upset with me for moving around despite taking it relatively slow. When I walked up those stairs and got hit by that heat, I was done. I sat through a game, vomiting all through it (pretending I was fine) and when they started a second game I was done. I knew that Tristan wanted to leave and so I felt free to say I wanted to leave, seeing it as partially for her benefit; I didn’t want to spoil Aaron’s fun though (he loves pool), so I didn’t insist we all leave, I just walked half a block to the 1 train, and took it 2 stops home. It was raining out, a light cool rain, which helped. And I was home in maybe 15 minutes tops, but probably more like 10. I took a shower and before I’d made it to bed Aaron was also home.

I tried to start reading a new book (which was recommended by a friend who generally likes stuff that I do, but often likes them years before I do – and sometimes I don’t like what he likes at all, still, when he’s on, he’s on) but I maybe got through 3 pages (of what seems to be a very dark gay trashy romance by Anthony Auswat) before I put down my phone, rolled over and went right to sleep. I had crazy dreams. My step-father had a new girlfriend, who had a beard. And my friend Pat also had a new girlfriend, which made sense in the dream, despite me starting to question it with waking world logic – like where the fuck was his wife, who I knew was still married to him? I was offended on her behalf. And there were coworkers who’d died. One had brain cancer. There was also a secret passage in a wall which had to be crawled through. That’s all I remember now. I woke up at 5, so I slept about 6.5 hours. I tried to go back to sleep but when I was still awake at 6 I got up.

Given yesterday’s troubles, I’m thinking about skipping tonight’s planned events and just staying home – which would include a visit from everyone and several games of Mario Kart, so I’d see everyone and have some fun times. The memory of the theater 8 years ago with Bernard is supporting this idea, as he’s joining us for the gaming and has been on standby for tonight’s event since it was decided on. I feel like I need a break, and I don’t want to get on a boat, where I can’t just leave if I want to. That sounds potentially nightmarish – and I have so much work to get done on my website and things. I can relax, take my meds (some of which can’t be taken when you’re out and about all day) and have my healthy home food.

Today’s journal title song quote is from “Super Heroes”, the penultimate song from many productions of The Rocky Horror Show; this version from the film. I owned this on CD.

July 3, 2026

“Chase the Shadows Away”

I went to bed around 2 this morning, which means I definitely didn’t get 8 hours of sleep, but I did sleep a little more than 6. I went to bed a bit later because I knew, per my dietician that I needed to have 1 more meal, but Aaron was in the kitchen for a large chunk of time before he went to bed. A couple of years ago he started brushing and flossing his teeth and taking his meds and things (stuff he used to do in the bathroom) in the kitchen, so he could watch TV while he did it. But due to my PTSD, I can’t really prepare food in the kitchen when someone else is there. It’s difficult enough when I’m not alone in the apartment. Sometimes I make it happen to push my own boundaries but it never goes well and this weekend will likely be busy with all sorts of events; pushing my boundaries is one thing, but pushing my luck on such a weekend seems like a stupid idea.

After I eat I often need to take some time before I sleep. I played a game on my phone: Meowdoku, which I’m finding to be a addictive. I fell asleep playing it in bed. Later when I rolled over I heard my phone fall off the floor but I went back to sleep. This morning I found that when the phone fell it unplugged from the charger, and because the game keeps the screen on, my phone was nearly dead. I’ll try to avoid that in future. I should try to begin one of the new books I downloaded the other day; the “Rock” spin-off was only 1 of several that I selected.

Tristan and Chris will be arriving today. Aaron will likely pick them up from LaGuardia (East Elmhurst, NY 11371) around noon and take them to their hotel. Then we’ll have lunch at the Hudson (348 Dyckman St, New York, NY 10034) at the Marina – or at least they will. The food I was planning on trying is no longer being served there, so I’ll likely get Starbucks on the way; luckily there’s one just a few blocks over (4761 Broadway, New York, NY 10040). We have tickets to see the Rocky Horror Show at 3:30 at Studio 54 (254 W 54th St, New York, NY 10019), followed by dinner at The Uptown Garrison (821 W 181st St, New York, NY 10033) and then pool at Dyckman Billiards Cafe (100 Dyckman St, New York, NY 10040).

Tomorrow, they will be going on a walking tour of Harlem, which I’m skipping. It’s going to be very hot and with all the activity, I’ll just need a break, I’m sure. Around 2:30 they will come to our apartment for some MarkioKart – which we’ve played online with them, but never in person. lol And tomorrow night we’re taking the July 4 Hornblower Infinity Yacht on the river to see New York and the fireworks, which runs from around 5 – 10. Chris and Tristan leave for Michigan on Sunday morning.

Aaron is leaving for the airport about 11:15am. I’m going to see if I can get reading in time to join him – or if that might not make any sense.

Edit: I have gotten ready, as it will be easier for them to not stop to pick me up later, but the flight has been delayed a bit.

Today’s journal title song quote is from “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)” by Swedish recording group ABBA, which was released in 1979. The song was famously sampled by Madonna in her 2005 “Hung Up” from the “Confessions on a Dance Floor” album; that album now officially has a sequel, “Confessions II” (also referred to as “Confessions on a Dance Floor: Part II”), which was released today; the new entry is her fifteenth studio album.

July 2, 2026July 2, 2026

“Don’t You Think It’s Time for Bed?”

I’ve been meaning to write the last few days but I’ve gotten a bit behind. I did major updates on the photos and viewing orders, and we’ve been busy with other things. I’d probably skip this tonight as well, but we’re going to have visitors this weekend and our schedule is packed. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do everything that Aaron has planned but I’ll try.

Back to our Michigan trip. On Sunday (June 28, 2026), we visited my maternal grandmother (Frances), my youngest maternal aunt (Marge), and my older sister (Janice), with cameos by a couple of cousins, Marge’s oldest son (Michael) and his son (Dajr). I feel like I’m describing all this rather oddly, but I’m really tired – so forgive me.

Grandma told us the sweetest thing before we left. When I met Aaron in late 2011 he was preparing for a February concert, The Broadway We Love, which featured him singing all these Broadway tunes for charity. There was a cd of the concert, which I gave to my grandmother and I knew she listened to it at the time, but she told Aaron that she still listens to it and that when he sings about cellophane, she rocks her shoulders back and forth and it makes her feel good. She doesn’t really follow musical theater, but I knew right away she was talking about the song “Mr. Cellophane” from the 1975 American musical “Chicago”. It makes me smile every time I think about it.

We left around 5:30 to meet our friend Jessie and my oldest Nephew Justin at Pizza House in Ann Arbor. Justin had never been there, which shocked me. We told him all sorts of stories about our adventures there in the past and the conversation in general was really great. Justin and Jesse are some of the most interesting people I know, and everyone was pleased with food, and the evening was lovely.

After dinner we went to Uplift to play some pool, unaware that they were hosting a drag event, so there were far more people that the previous time we went there. Pool was played. Drag was performed. We said goodnight to Jesse and drove Justin back to his car. He seemed interested in going camping with us. I wonder if that will happen?

We headed back to the hotel. I packed most of my things and went to bed. We sorted everything in the morning and we headed to the airport. Later we learned that my medication that had seemed to have never been sent had actually arrived within 24 hours of us but they just never sent me a tracking number – but by the time we found out we were already in New York. So the saga of the meds continues. We got some more out of pocket from a local pharmacy until we can get the one that was sent to Michigan.

I randomly got bumped up to First Class. I was in the first row all by myself. It didn’t actually feel like much of an upgrade but I was reading all the way home, so it was fine. I finished reading “Rock” yesterday? Or maybe the day before? I don’t know. The the first book I’ve finished in ages. I found out there is a sequel or a spin-off or something, which I downloaded but I haven’t started it yet. I had therapy on Tuesday, which went well. I’ve spoken to Katie this week. Aaron’s sister and brother-in-law will be arriving tomorrow for a weekend of fun.

I’m behind on all my TV shows. So many. I’m watching “Daredevil” (Season 3), rewatched Star Trek: Discovery (on Season 3 of that too), I’m 2 episodes behind on “The Vampire Lestat”, with a third arriving this Sunday. I’m 3 episodes behind on “X-Men ’97”. I’m 7 episodes behind on “Spider-Noir”. I’m sure there’s more. It’s starting to bother me though. I just never seem to have time, despite staying mostly indoors this week due to the heatwave.

I’ve continued to eat healthy since I got home. In Michigan I had McDonald’s a couple of times, and had some chips. But I also had smoothies and egg whites while I was there, which was nice. I feel like there’s more but I’m so tired, I just want to go to bed.

Aaron and I continued our Re-Trek with TNG S03E05 “The Bonding”, which continues the streak of good or great Season 3 episodes. I had some minor quibbles. Deanna Troi’s heterosexist comment of a future wife for Jeremy Astor felt outdated and annoying. How spoiled I have become by modern Trek! There were a few other bits, the most glaring being that Jeremy Astor is set up to be a recurring character of a sort but he never even mentioned again, or at least not that I can remember. It feels like a rare misstep with Worf’s storylines. This also felt like the first of the Deanna / Worf storylines, which continue throughout the series. I look forward to seeing more soon, but I doubt we’ll be able to see any until after this weekend, unfortunately.

Today’s song quote title comes from “Sexy Nerd” by Jonny McGovern; a song from his 2012 album “The Gayest of All Time”, which started playing on my phone as I was finishing this post. It’s on a playlist I made on Amazon Music titled “LGBTQ”.

June 30, 2026

“I’m Gonna Keep On Dancing”

I read a bit before bed last night, fell asleep around 10pm I think. I slept until around 3 but I I couldn’t get back to sleep. I had been dreaming about “V”, the series. lol Or recording it off of television? Something that’s gone.

Back to our recent Michigan Trip. On Friday (June 26, 2026) I had egg whites and later a smoothie. We got ready and went to the wedding, which we needed to be early for since Aaron was part of the wedding party. The service was wonderful. Everyone was delightful. They fucked up my food order (so I didn’t have anything) and the bar rules were weird (no NEAT drinks – only ice, and when I downed my shot because I didn’t want the ice they threatend to cut me off). Lots of dancing. Lots of talking and spending time with cool people. We left after 11, nearly midnight. Aaron took me to McDonalds which I ate in the car on the way back to the hotel. I took a shower and got ready for bed.

I had a bit of trouble sleeping that night. But on Saturday (June 27, 2026) I slept in with Aaron cuddles. I had a smoothie. Later we went to Kensington Metro Park to visit with Tristan (Aaron’s sister), Jasper (Aaron’s nephew), Mark (Aaron’s father), Michelle (Mark’s sister), Karen & Nevin, & Mary Ellen (Aaron’s mom). It was nice and relaxed.

When we got back to the hotel I took a shower to get the sunblock and sweat off. I started to unwind.

After I was relaxed and dressed, Aaron and I committed to continuing our Re-Trek and watched TNG S03E04 “Who Watches the Watchers?” – which we both enjoyed. Andrew told me at the wedding that he’s begun Strange New Worlds and is already finished with Season 1. He wants to move on the 80’s / 90’s era Treks – we think he should start that journey with Enterprise.

Later, I was entranced and entertained by an anime AI gay werewolf thingy, called (I kid you not) “Bussy and the Beast”. lol

To Be Continued (Again)…

I’m still singing Pink Pony Club, so this morning’s journal entry title comes from that same song. The sun is up but I should probably go back to bed. We’re getting a grocery order later and I have a therapy session.