Author: Jason Wright

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Epilogue

If the dark of Seattle
makes you start
to seem marginal,

Let me remark that
you are remarkable.

Insightful and vivid;
you are such a vision.

That others would
hurt you for spite or religion
brings tears to my eyes,
and I barely know you.

And it’s not just because
I loved being below you.

You’re kind and you’re funny;
you’re cute and you’re daring.

You’re sexy and charming
and layered and caring.

You have much to give;
don’t be shy or reluctant…

Because some lucky guy
will want you for a husband.

And you’ll be amazing,
I should know
’cause I’ve met you.

No one who knows you
could ever forget you.

Written by Jason Wright
July 9, 2017

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Fashion Victim

A cry on the catwalk
of love and of blame.

A runway sashayed
with lies and with shame.

The scream for attention;
an advert ignored.

A cream filled with tastes
that I could not afford.

The signs for the sale
were shocking and sultry.

I did not expect them
to lead to adultery.

Fidelity fad? Old hat!
I’m pathetic.

The new look this season
has a harlot aesthetic.

Yet the outdated fashion
of black and of leather.

Was on the new model;
though I think it was pleather.

Written by Jason Wright
July 2, 2017

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Innocence Lost

When we speak about nothing
we sound easy going.

But our diet of words
is weighted with knowing.

Conversation we’re having
is new yet outdated.

Nothing’s the same
once you’ve been penetrated.

The words we don’t say
are more cutting than surgeons.

Our words should be changed
as we’re no longer virgins.

But we find that we’re kind
as we climb back on horses.

As we strive to derive
what survived intercourses.

Written by Jason Wright
June 30, 2017

My cousin Danielle, who I did not know in person, often interacted with me on Facebook and commented on my poetry. She died in October of 2020 but I was not informed as no one was aware of our online interactions. She was exactly 6 years younger than me, which we often commented on. Rest in peace cousin.

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The Enemy of Love

I miss and forgive you
with most of my heart.

I’m fine most the time
until I fall apart.

I feel like I’ve beat this
but then I’m outsmarted.

The journey’s not over
but at least it has started.

The progress of feeling
is slow and dismays.

The process of healing
takes more than five days.

But most of the time
I just want you to hold,

Some comfort from that
which can not be controlled.

The sound of your voice
echoes still when I suffer.

The words that you spoke
heard by me and no other.

The tears in your voice
on the phone told the truth.

The long held self loathing
ignored in your youth.

The pain that you shared
and inspired by wanting.

The pain lingers there
undefeated and haunting.

I hate how I ache
when I see what you’ve sold.

Your lie is a burden
the world thinks is gold.

But soon you’ll be here
where you won’t need to hide.

We’ll cling to the strength
that the truth can provide.

We’ll strive to fight fears
that we barely can fathom.

As I survive tears
which still strike me at random.

Written by Jason Wright
June 30, 2017

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Questions

Before Sunday morn
I was happy and glowing.

Before your call came
I was blissed and unknowing.

I knew of desires
and I knew your needs.

I’d suggested a plan
and hoped we’d succeed.

I shifted my limits
which were not ephemera.

I morphed into something
to solve your dilemma.

I thought myself kind
and loving and honest.

And then your call came
which left me demolished.

The question you asked
and the way that you asked it.

The sound of your voice
was like love mixed with acid.

Confession was sin
uncommitted yet tempted.

You revealed from within;
forewarned and repented.

You gave me the truth
that you thought to embargo,

As you braved rejection;
my wrath and my sorrow.

You asked me a question;
you begged satisfaction.

You pleaded to know
the truth through an action.

You needed to know
and said I’d defy you.

But even heartbroken
I could not deny you.

And now we are different;
yes, we’re not the same.

And now I have questions
that are hard to explain.

I’ve tried to express them;
to confirm my convictions.

But the riddles of love
imply contradictions.

I know that I’m right
but does that make you wrong?

Does confessing a weakness
in fact make you strong?

Can I be proud
of acts so unsavory?

Can cowardly acts
be inspired by bravery?

Can I be sympathetic
to how you depict him?

And if I’m aroused
can I still be a victim?

Can I be betrayed
if I’m kept in the light?

Can it truly be wrong
if I’m mostly alright?

Can I crave blue deception
while wanting the truth?

Can you find liberation
denied in your youth?

Will freedom enslave you
and kill us like cancer?

We have lots of questions
without many answers.

Written by Jason Wright
June 29, 2017

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Breathe Through It

Another wave hits
though I’ve been fine for hours,

Like collected and calm
are now my superpowers,

And he may make me stronger
when things are alright,

He’s my origin story
but he’s my Kryptonite.

Why doesn’t he answer?
Perhaps he is fine?

I try not to worry
or doubt that he’s mine.

Is he off with another?
Because he’s not alone…

Least they have each other
while I’m stuck here at home.

He was on his profile
two hours ago…

I thought he was done
with that chat but who knows?

Is he high now on drugs
instead of flirtation?

If so, for experience
or to dull a sensation?

Has he gone to the baths
in his unplanned descent?

Can the words that I write
allow for consent?

This loss of control;
this pained separation…

Been dressed several times
by my own reparations,

But the freshest of wounds;
post trauma are bleeding…

I struggle to write
but at least I am breathing.

Written by Jason Wright
June 29, 2017

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Bedtime Story

I masturbate
crying
and cum harder too.

I fantasize
dying
believe me it’s true.

Wipe tears from eyes
then shower me smoothe.

Now tell me again
coward
tell me the truth.

Written by Jason Wright
June 28, 2017

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Forced Open Relationship

You beg on the phone
to have what you need…

Like a junkie on smack
talking calmly of speed…

But I’m hooked on it too;
on the sex of your greed…

You feed the fire
as you swallow his seed.

I’ve dreamt of this moment;
been prepping for ages…

Been setting the traps
and been traveling through stages…

We were a team
but in two different places…

That the having has happened
without me enrages
my dick and my anger;
my hurt and my fear,

I’m impotent / horny;
unsated by tears,

I’m so many things
on many frontiers,

And this can’t be the end
after so many years.

Written by Jason Wright
June 28, 2017

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Versification

The magic of words
and the thoughts they reveal,

Define and pronounce
and allow me to heal,

I write and confess
and infuse every word,

With every emotion
I felt when I heard
his voice on the phone
in June Seventeen,

The day it all changed
into something obscene,

My words become poetry,
sonnets and myth,

Healing the wounds of
June Twenty-Fifth,

I shower him off
and wake from nightmares,

I know he is happy
and I know that he cares,

And I know he is hurt
and he hurt me as well,

But that’s not all he did
with his shocking bombshell,

I’m stronger than this
though it’s so complicated,

There’s much to inspire
and be celebrated,

Yes, there is pain and shock
and disaster,

Our lives interlace
in intricate patterns,

And I can feel joy
when I see that he’s joyous,

Not everything painful
is sure to destroy us,

For balance is key
in our combination,

The greatest of gifts
is com·mu·ni·ca·tion.

Written by Jason Wright
June 28, 2017

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Five Years

Stepped into my life
with me at my deadliest,

You without precedent
revived with your charm…

Stepped away from the knife
with my heart at it’s heaviest,

Music was prescient,
five years before harm.

You took me away
to a magical island,

You made me smile and –
you gave me a dream,

A fantasy marriage
of invisible diamonds…

A wedding cake frosted
with vanishing cream.

I loved you freely
in sickness and health,

Was I really just one
in that castle of sand?

Because you said you loved
but could not love yourself,

It’s over,
It’s done,
Can one understand?

But the truth is perception;
my view of you’s changing…

Time can fly quickly
or bleed by so slow…

Our love could prove true
with these vows we’re exchanging…

Still hurting…
but no one but you
needs to know.

The pain comes in waves
as my sand castle crumbles…

Love keeps ablaze
when the tide is too strong…

For relationships last
even when we have stumbles…

And my love for you
could not ever be wrong.

So a toast to the man
who’s love made me better…

I hope you can learn
to find love for yourself…

The value you seek
is there beyond measure…

Beauty is currency:
here’s to your wealth!

And of what I would give you
five years is a vial,

If you would allow me
to walk by your side…

And even if we never
walk down that aisle..

I will always be yours
and will love you with pride.

Written by Jason Wright
June 28, 2017

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