Weight – BALD JASON'S GAY GOTH BOY BLOG

October 9, 2026October 9, 2026

“A Spray of Stars Hit the Screen”

I stayed in on Monday (10-05-26). I didn’t feel great. Aaron stayed home also, skipping pool, due to his leg injury. I was planning on going with him if he did go, but I was fine staying home.

Tuesday (10-06-26) I needed to get out for a bit and I was hungry. I went to Starbucks and got the spinach feta wrap and stopped at the pharmacy on the way home, only the line was so long and I didn’t need to pick up the prescription that had been filled because I still had some.

Later I got the test results from my anal pap. I had been dreading the news. At my age, as a sexually active bottom, the chances were very high that I had HPV, but I had consoled myself with the knowledge that coming of age during the AIDS crisis, most of my partners had worn condoms. Additionally, most of my lovers weren’t one night stands, but relationships, some of whom likely had never been exposed to the virus (strict tops who less experienced than me) or in some cases, had been vaccinated. Aaron, who has been my central partner for nearly 15 years, was vaccinated before we met. And in that 15 year time (that’s 15 years this month), I’ve slept with 4 other men, 3 of them with Aaron. All of them have used condoms, save one, who didn’t fuck me. And I was also vaccinated several years ago as at the time, they couldn’t find anyone who would test me, and my thinking was that if they couldn’t prove that I had it, then I wanted the very expensive vaccine, which I got, paid out of pocket and have never regretted. All that to say is that while I knew I might have it, there was a good chance that I didn’t. I was told that I’d get 2 results and that the first is often a false positive, so I just waited until I had both. But both were negative. I’m HPV negative. I still can’t quite believe it. And it doesn’t make me any less angry that they didn’t allow men to get the vaccine when I asked for it in my 20s.

Wednesday (10-07-26) I had an early morning appointment at my cardiologist’s office. A hot guy (Roman) performed the test. They listened to and scanned my heart. The results all seem normal, which I suppose is good. There was one oddity, but it wasn’t marked as being an issue, but honestly I don’t really understand the test or the results so I’ll wait for the doc to let me know how I’m doing. I’ve been considerate of my heart health ever since my cousin Michael, who is one month younger than me, had a heart attack a few years ago. Scared the Hell out of me, which I told him when I saw him in the summer of 2025. Tuesday night, Aaron went to choir and I wanted to go with him to see everyone, but we had a grocery order that I needed to wait for so I played some Zelda and watched some SVU. I was a little bummed to see that I had somehow gained 7 pounds. Well, 4 really. I weighed 180 for a single day and then I was hovering around 183 or so. Then today I was 187.

Thursday (10-08-26) I woke up feeling like I wanted to work on my Marvel viewing order, unraveling a particularly continuity heavy knot (events surrounding 2016’s “Captain America: Civil War”) which took most of the day. All of it, really.

I was happy to see that I’d somehow lost 5 pounds. So I’m back to 182.8. I love eating these Veggie Tots (which are delicious treats which count as an entire serving of vegetables), but I’ve noticed they seem to linger in my body for a lot longer than I would expect – and I weigh a lot more with them inside me. The thing is, they ‘depart’ days later, so the weight gain is always short lived, but it keeps me from having them as an every day snack. Food is weird. Especially for me, since I’ve tended to avoid thinking about it most of my life.

As I was unwinding, more Marvel news started pouring in. Partially because VisionQuest (which begins on Wednesday, just 6 days from now) has been released to critics in full, and it’s getting very good reactions so far. And also (and I’m not sure why this slipped my mind) but Marvel TV had a panel at NYCC today, in which they announced and confirmed several fun things. I knew they were having something at NYCC, and I knew it was in October, but my brain had not processed that it was now October and that I should be looking for this news to pop up. lol

VisionQuest Release Strategy:

VQ S01E01 10-14-26
VQ S01E02 10-14-26
VQ S01E03 10-21-26
VQ S01E04 10-21-26
VQ S01E05 10-28-26
VQ S01E06 10-28-26
VQ S01E07 11-04-26
VQ S01E08 11-11-26

2 episodes a week until the final 2 episodes – both of which will more than an hour long. All the episodes are pretty long compared to previous shows. Nice. Again, the full series has been released to critics, and the ones I follow, one of which was NOT excited for this series, are raving about how good it is! The review embargo lifts on Monday, so I’ll have to do my best to avoid spoilers – but it is nice to have something to look forward to.

Avengers: Doomsday has a new poster, which was released last weekend. It features the Latverian Witches that were revealed at SDCC (pictured just above). New rumors seem to indicate these characters won’t actually be a big deal, but I feel like this is a misdirect. If they weren’t important, why tease them so effectively? Why tease their costumes at a fan event where they changed the costume every day with a different color? Maybe they aren’t anything at all. But I think they are. I hope they are. I feel like they’re doing a really great job of keeping spoilers at bay for this film, that, or I’m getting better at avoiding them. But when the costume was originally revealed, I really hoped that the final version would be scarlet, if you know what I mean, but instead they switched the costume to that of Doom. But the more distant witch in the poster certainly seems to be scarlet. <3

Season 2 of Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man is confirmed for January 13, 2027. It will feature the Alien Costume, Daredevil (Charlie Cox), Doc Oc and Scorpion will return, and we’ll meet Spider-Gwen. I loved the first season so I’m excited for this. Also, it was strange to be working on the placement of the series for hours today, and then have news about Season 2 come pouring in! Season 3 is also in the works and I wonder how many seasons the series will run for? Also, I loved the parallels with the 616 Spider-Man in the first season and I wonder if they’ll continue to toy with that?

Marvel Zombies will return in a series of 2-part Halloween Specials, released in 2027, 2028 & 2029 – with the final special described as a culmination of the whole story (so presumably the ending). The first special, The Winter Soldier, will explain Bucky’s whereabouts in the previous saga and will reportedly be filled with revelations. The second special, The Fist of Khonshu will presumably be about Blade Knight, the badass iteration of Blade / Moon Knight introduced in Season 1 of Marvel Zombies. I have loved the Marvel Zombies since the story was introduced back in Season 1 of “What If…?” (S01E05) back in 2021, and it was my favorite episode of that series overall, so I’m thrilled that the story will continue, but I’m also slightly disappointed that we have to wait until 2029 to see how it ends.

Also, there is a mysterious SECRET live action series coming in 2028 titled “Zodiac”, which they will be casting soon (so rumors are expected) and that will film in 2027 in London. It was mentioned that there are clues in the logo, and it at least implies a connection to S.H.I.E.L.D., but in what capacity? Clark Gregg (aka as Phil Coulson) shared the post about the series. Could this imply that it is a sequel to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.? What does this mean? We’ll see.

X-Men ’97 will return next year for Season 3, which we already knew, but that’s about all we know. I believe a 4th season was also already announced, so expect that in 2028.

The news was welcomed. But I was exhausted and Aaron had made plans for us this morning, so I headed to bed. I believe I fell asleep between 10 & 11. I woke up around 4. I thought I’d be able to get back to sleep but after struggling to do so for 1.5 hours I got up around 5:30, made a smoothie and wrote this. Well, I adjusted it. I had scribbled it down last night before bed, but decided at the time that I’d edit it later as I was just too tired at the time.

Today’s journal entry song quote is from “Kiss Them for Me”, by English goth rock band Siouxsie and the Banshees, which was released in 1991 as the first single from the band’s 10th studio album, “Superstition”. According to Wikipedia, upon its release, the single received enthusiastic reviews. “Kiss Them for Me” became their most successful single in the US peaking at number 23 in the Billboard Hot 100. Billboard also ranked it as the second most-played song of the year on American alternative music radio. I couldn’t have told you any of that. I bought their second singles compilation, “Twice Upon a Time – The Singles” in late 1992 because I loved the song “Face to Face” from that year’s “Batman Returns”. I was only vaguely aware of the band at all, and I didn’t really know what to make of them. I ended up loving the entire album, but not having experienced the singles as they were released, I didn’t really grasp the experience of how each song hit and / or when. That was also 2 years before I went to my first club, which is where I heard most of my music, and I was delighted to learn that they were in heavy rotation at such venues, as I’d thought of them a s niche sort of quirky band that I had discovered that nobody else seemed to like. lol The early 90s were such a different time!

September 30, 2026September 30, 2026

“Only Fools Do What I Do”

Saturday (09/26/26) Aaron and I did go see Avengers: Endgame Encore, which we both enjoyed. The theater was mostly sold out – not every seat was full, but every row was nearly full, with just a seat here or there empty. I wasn’t sure how many people would go to see a release of a 7 year old film, even with a few new scenes. It was a good time. People cheered, gasped, clapped, laughed and cried in the appropriate scenes, even though most of them had seen the film before. I cried 3 times myself. The new material amounted to 2 fun introductions + a new final scene & 3 credit scenes. All of it was amazing. Aaron and I are both very hyped for Avengers: Doomsday in December and various other upcoming Marvel projects.

I was very uncomfortable before leaving for the film. I was bleeding a little from my surgery (which was expected), but it was not pleasant. But I pushed through because Aaron was so excited to see the movie and I’m glad I did because it really was a fun experience. And because I knew the movie very well, I didn’t feel bad heading to the bathroom a couple of times. We didn’t end up watching any Star Trek. We still haven’t actually. When I do think of watching Strange New Worlds, Aaron isn’t around. And when he’s around, I don’t want to watch it at all. It just hasn’t been good enough. And also, I’ve just not been watching much of anything lately – while Aaron has been watching more than ever. I think he’s binged all of “Loki” since seeing the movie. I don’t think I’ve watched anything.

On Sunday (09-27-26) we stayed in. and mostly worked on our own projects. He mostly watched TV and played video games. I worked on my website and also played video games. I’m still playing Breath of the Wild. Still reading Magic’s Pawn. Nothing much has changed really. Oh. Except that on Sunday I weighed myself and I was down to 180.4.

I’ve said this a lot lately, but again, this is the lowest I’ve weighed in years. I’m still about 10 lbs over what I used to weigh most of the time, but I’ve come a long way. I’ve lost 40 lbs since last year and 30.6 of those lbs have been lost in the last 6 months. I’m doing really good work on my health. I feel good. There are other parts of my life that need work, but it’s a balance and a process and I think healthy ties into nearly everything else, so that’s really good.

Also, the pain from my September 18th procedure is gone now. That’s nice. And in the last few months I’ve struggled to feel sexual in any way, and I feel like some of that is coming back, due in part to several therapies and self-love type experiments. And all of that is contributing to my sense of wellbeing. There’s a lot of stress in my life currently, having to do with money and people that I love who need help (not with money) and I want to be there for them, and I’m worried that I’ll fuck that up somehow. But otherwise, I’m doing pretty well.

On Monday (09-28-26) I went out with Aaron to attend one of his pool games at the Metropolitan Bar in Brooklyn. I’d been there before with him, but it had been several years. Fun was had. I met several new players, one of whom, Parker, carried on a fun conversation. I also met random bar people (Tyler, Michael & Joseph), who entertained me. Those 3 and a 4th are roommates who live in Ridgewood. Michael and Joseph are brothers; Michael is 7 years older than Joseph, in his 30s while Joseph is 26 – they’re both from Georgia. Tyler is from Minnesota. They were so much fun to talk to. I hope we cross paths again someday, or if not, that they just continue to be fun people.

I stayed in on Tuesday (09-29-26). I had therapy, which was productive. And I got a lot of work done on my Marvel Multiverse Guide, finding a new format that seems to be perfect – except later I found that there was a problem that I either need to solve now or run into it multiple times, which would be exhausting. So I had to stop. Which was frustrating. So, I did a rudimentary guide for A Song of Ice and Fire, so I could feel like I finished something! lol

Aaron went to choir for the first time this season. I was working on all that and had some success and something I’ve struggled with for years. It doesn’t mean I’m cured, but it’s a positive experience and that’s good. Later I spoke to my grandmother on the phone before heading to bed, just as Aaron arrived home. I slept from about 10 to about 3. I got up to pee and came back to bed but the TV was on and it seemed to be too bright. I couldn’t tell if it was actually brighter than normal and that I should risk adjusting it (and possibly waking Aaron) or if I was just being hypersensitive to any light (which can be a problem for me), so I just decided to get up. I knew I wanted to work on my site. I worked on several collages, which will be posted at a later time – as I want to randomize them and post several at once. Then I wrote a poem, inspired by that collage. And then I wrote this blog entry.

I need to go shower with Aaron now (or cuddle if there is time).

All the songs from this Troye Sivan album are still stuck in my brain, so I just picked another of the songs today. “Fools” is where this blog entry title springs from, from “Blue Neighborhood”.

I really do need to run!

July 25, 2026July 25, 2026

“I Know You Have A Little Life In You Yet”

I did not go to bed after the last entry. As I walked to the room to cuddle with Aaron, he got up, so I stayed up too. I spent much of the day in a haze. I did try to sleep; I just wasn’t successful. I wondered if I should go for a walk? I worried that the lack of sleep might be harder to recover from and that it might be better to stay in, but due to the fact that it was Brian’s birthday, and the feelings I had about it being the first one since he died, I decided I needed to walk, to help work off the excess emotions.

I got dressed quickly. I tried not worry about what I was wearing too much, which is becoming increasingly difficult. I decided to wear pants, despite the heat, as the black item I chose had multiple holes in it and was also really light. I was shocked when I put them on though, because they have an elastic waist and I’ve never needed a belt with them before, but yesterday I did. I guess that’s what happens when you lose nearly 30 lbs; 18.8 in the last 4 months. Okay.

I walked sort of aimlessly, not really feeling like going to the park. I briefly considered walking as far as I could south, knowing I could catch a train home. I may still do that at some point, but it wasn’t the time. I knew I’d had very little sleep and I figured I shouldn’t push things too far. It was enough that I was up and outside. I walked at least a mile. I traded texts with my friend Christopher. I stopped into Starbucks and got a chocolate chip cookie that I’d been craving for over a week but skipped the tea this time as I had a water with me. On my way home I ran into my old Starbucks customer and now friend, Gemma, who gave me another name the last time I saw her, and I can’t remember what it was. Damn it. She was highly complimentary of my appearance, which was appreciated.

When I got home I showered. Then had a smoothie. I tried to stay up but started getting ready for bed around 9pm. I know I passed out because when I woke up my phone was next to me on the bed, not charging. I got up around 3 or 4? I can’t remember. I had something to drink and a piece of toast. I worked on my Marvel chronology for a couple of hours. Then I went back to bed to cuddle with Aaron. We cuddled for an hour before he got up, then I fell back asleep for a couple of hours.

I woke up ravenous. I had another smoothie, which was delicious. I weighed myself. I’m enjoying the process of paying attention to my health and trying to meet goals, but my PTSD is so closely tied to food, and often presents itself as an eating disorder, that I’ve avoided this kind of information in the past, and I’m cognizant of the circumstances, and I don’t believe this is negative at all. But I’m trying to take stock of my emotions and my reactions and how I’m dealing with all of this so that it can be positive and not detrimental – and I don’t think it is – but I worry if I just sort of went into this without that level of introspection, that it could slip into something unhealthy. As it stands, I’m eating better, healthier and I’m more active. I’m not starving. I’m not exercising to excise. So I think I’m fine. I currently weigh 192.2 lbs, which was before I ate. So it’s probably gone up a reasonable amount since then. I should be at least 20 lbs less to be in the ballpark of my ideal healthy weight, but I’m improving in various ways, with better results that I’d ever have expected. And again, I’ve lost about 30lbs from when I was eating nothing but crap and was highly sedentary – like, I would barely move for days at a time, except to eat or take a bathroom break. So, also again, I’m definitely doing better, so it’s hard to criticize any of my new habits, which is helpful, because it means I’m probably on the right track.

We’re going to a party this evening, or that’s the plan. The Marvel Hall H Panel at San Diego Comic Con will be during the party, so I’m hoping to come home with lots of Marvel news. There have been teases that MIGHT mean that Wanda could return in Avengers: Doomsday, ala her comic storyline from The Children’s Crusade, which I’d secretly hoped already, and so I’m very hyped to (PLEASE) have that confirmed. I need Wanda back. I actually need Wanda and Vision and Wiccan & Speed to be united and then they can go live happily ever after. That’s what I want. I actually would have preferred to stay home and read the news as it pours in, but getting out is healthier. Spending time out with Aaron is beneficial for us both, and I genuinely like the person who is having this housewarming party. And there may be others that I know there. It’s all good. I feel much better today than I did yesterday, and that’s always good.

Oh. Our downstairs neighbors have a leak in their ceiling. This is horrible for them, and obnoxious for us. They’ve had a leak on and off for 10 years? We’ve let plumbers and professionals come into our apartment at all hours of the day and night (often with no heads up) to work with them to find something. They’ve run the water from all the sinks, the shower, the appliances – everything – many times. They’ve ripped open their ceiling and tested everything again, but found nothing. Privately, the professionals have said that the neighbors are crazy – but I don’t think they are! They have a legitimate problem, and I want to help them, but nobody can find the source of the problem and the problem isn’t happening when we use water, and it’s also not happening in a way that anyone can predict, so getting people in when the trouble is actually happening, has been a challenge. And the people that run the building have to send their people to figure it out. We’ve also had every pipe and every water system (and nearly all of our floors + all of the bathroom) replaced and the problem is still there. They used to be very confrontational with us, these neighbors, back before a lot of the changes, and they insisted that we were causing their problems, only the weekend in which they were having the major issues, we weren’t home. So no water was running. It’s a mystery.

And that’s all for now.

Oh. Again! I need to respond to my friend Ilyssa. I’m so all over the place!!! lol I messaged her out of the blue the other day and she kind messaged back – but I was in bed when I got the response and I went right to sleep! Damn. Okay. I’ll reach out to her. And I need to ask Christopher what play he saw yesterday and if it was any good. And get ready for the party. I got this.

Today’s journal entry title song quote is from “This Woman’s Work” written and performed by English singer-songwriter Kate Bush. It was initially featured on the soundtrack of the American film “She’s Having a Baby” (1988). The song was released in November 1989, by EMI Records, as the second single from her sixth album, “The Sensual World” (1989), and peaked at No. 25 on the UK Singles Chart. The first time I remember hearing the song was in the second episode of “ALIAS” (S01E02 “And So It Begins”), which aired October 7, 2001. I was aware of Kate Bush as an ex-bf of mine (Gene Warrick) had played “Running Up That Hill” for me in 1994, from her 1985 album “Hounds of Love”. I liked the song so much that I recorded it to a cassette tape form his vinyl copy. Oh the things we did for music back then! lol Really there are only 3 songs by Kate Bush that I actually know, which are these 2 plus “Lyra”, her song from “The Golden Compass” (2007) film.

July 24, 2026July 24, 2026

“I Did All My Best To Smile”

This week there was Marvel news and I’m sure there will be more tomorrow. This excites me. I’m a huge Marvel fan, so there’s that.

I got outside for several walks this week. I’ve lost weight. I was actually thinking that I weighed 207 pounds in March, but it turns out, I actually weighed 211 pounds then – and I now weigh under 194, so that’s a considerable amount of weight lost, and I’ve not been doing anything crazy. I’m just making healthier choices in my diet and getting a bit more exercise than I had been. So that’s pretty exciting, because since I’m enjoying this time, I feel like this might be something I can keep up with and not worry about it all coming back, as I’ve heard others talk about. I was originally aiming to get to 180lbs but my program says that my ideal weight 172lbs. It also told me recently that my “metabolic age” was 52, which I thought was fair since I’ll be 52 in just a few weeks, but now I’m down to age 51, so I’m assuming that’s a good thing? I’m so clueless about this stuff. But that’s just what I make sure to tell my doctors. Treat me like I don’t know anything, because if it relates to food or exercise, I probably don’t know much! lol But I’m doing great. And I think I’m finding a good balance between what I love, what I enjoy and what is good for me. It’s not about giving up everything, it’s about balancing it out with other options, which I also like. My snack plates lately are all fruits and seeds and things, but I legitimately didn’t notice or think about it until Aaron pointed it out to me. I just thought they were fun choices. lol Oh, and I’m cutting some sugar from my smoothies now; putting 3 quarters of a cup of fruit in (instead of a full cup) and then using a quarter cup of zucchini, which is great for you, apparently, but which I’d never had before. I can’t taste a difference, so that’s great.

I’m so fucking tired. I woke up at 2am when Aaron got up for something. And then I realized that today was Brian Lounsberry’s 50th birthday. Or it would have been. And then I knew I needed to write something and I got up. And I did write something. And also rewrote an older poem that I’ve often referred to, but have never been truly happy with. So that’s accomplished. I should probably be trying to write this in some semblance of order.

Monday we got the first “Avengers: Doomsday” trailer, which I posted. Excited for that. Tuesday we got the final “Spider-Man: Brand New Day” trailer and I’m excited for that. Later I took the train to the park and then walked home, which is about a mile.

Tuesday (July 21) I had therapy that went well. I’m sure there was some kind of drama that day but I can’t remember what it was. Oh. And we watched another Star Trek: The Next Generation episode (S03E10 “The Defector”) – which we both enjoyed and had both forgotten most of. Indeed, I had mistaken the plot in my head for a completely different subplot from a different Trek episodes (S06E14 “Face of the Enemy”), which in my defense, also involves the Romulans and a defector, but in that case, it’s a human defector who joined the Romulans and returns to the Federation – I remember that actor and that story and assumed that this Season 3 Romulan episode about a defector was the same thing. But it wasn’t. lol So that was kind of funny.

Wednesday (July 22): Aaron went on a walk with me. We went to Starbucks on our way home and the barista complimented my “whole vibe”, which I’m not sure I thanked her for, which makes me feel like a jerk. Really, I’m just caught off guard when people compliment me.

Thursday (July 23): I went for a walk. There was plenty of drama though. We’re going to Florida next week, but it’s quite a lot of stress for me as I’d rather not travel and I wasn’t planning on going at all, but the trip got moved up and if I want to see Spider-Man with Aaron, which I do, I have to go. And there are issues with me going but we talked it out and we’re reducing the risk of all that as much as we can – and if it’s bad, I’ll either come home earlier, or go to a hotel or something.

Later I rewatched “Thunderbolts*” for the first time since seeing it in theaters. I think I enjoyed it about the same as the first time, but I forgot how much I cried during the second half, so I was bawling for awhile. lol Then right after that, Aaron and I watched the new Season 4 premiere of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (S04E01 “Valles Marineris”), which we both enjoyed, despite both of us being a bit distracted by other things.

Also, someone betrayed Aaron this week. I’m sure he had his reasons, but it was really horrible and I knew that Aaron was hurt but I didn’t think there was much that I could do. On top of that, it left him in a very precarious position as far as his company is concerned, but that was solved in a truly gracious manner that I will forever be grateful for.

I went to bed after Trek, going to bed around 9 and drifting off around 10. And then Aaron woke me up around 2 and now we’re up to date.

I’m going back to bed.

Today’s journal title song quote comes from “Song to the Siren” by various different bands that I enjoy, but the most popular seems to be This Mortal Coil; but it was written by by Tim Buckley and Larry Beckett and released by them in 1970. The version by This Mortal Coil was released as their first single in 1983 and then on their album “It’s End in Tears” in 1984.

July 14, 2026July 14, 2026

“This Is Not An Exit”

On Saturday (July 11) Aaron and I met up with Robin Finnell, one of “our lesbians”, whom we met on a Caribbean cruise a couple of years ago. That particular voyage was filled with assorted disappointments, and also a lot of fun, but the best part was the friends we made at the queer get togethers nearly every night of the trip; people we still keep in touch with, 6 of whom have visited us in New York. Robin was passing through for work, letting us know in advance that she’d love to get dinner with us and that she wanted to see the Stonewall Inn. I arranged for us to have a late dinner together at Fellini Cucina in the village, within walking distance of Stonewall and solving all sorts of issues. We met there around 8. The food was good. The company was excellent. The walk to Stonewall was relaxing. And to see Robin enjoying it all was wonderful. We walked Robin to her car and headed home.

Sunday, I did very little. We had Bernard, one of our repeat repairmen over to fix our defective water pump, which we expected to be a relatively fast job, but it wasn’t. He needed to get parts, which took several hours and while he finished that day (which we’re very thankful for), we didn’t really have time to do much together. We had hoped to watch at least one episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation together. Instead I mostly played a game on my phone and watched YouTube videos / podcasts about serial killers. Many of which concerned neighborhoods in Michigan that I was more than a little familiar with. Creepy. I’ve never been into much of anything related to true crime, but this was oddly entertaining.

Monday, Aaron invited me to see “Oh, Mary!” with him on Broadway. I knew he was going because it had been on the calendar for a long time, but he’d not invited me before – as it was originally to be a day out with an old friend of his. Honestly, I’d very much wanted to go and was a little miffed I hadn’t been invited before. But due to not having been invited, I stayed up all night on Sunday/ Monday, so I was now exhausted, and turned the offer down. He was sad that I didn’t feel I could go so I told him I’d tough it out – only right after that, I learned that the cast had just changed again, the people I wanted to see in it, were no longer there. He saw my disappointment and said he’d find others to go with him, which was kind – and for the best. I really was exhausted.

Oh. Also, I watched the penultimate episode of this season of The Vampire Lestat, S01E06 “Montreal”, which adapted elements of “Merrick” in shocking new ways that had me in tears! The story also featured references to Cortland Mayfair, so a cross series reference from “Interview with the Vampire” to “Mayfair Witches”, which I will most likely try to watch again in the near future. The ending, which felt entirely original to this adaptation, albeit thematically linked to events from several of the books, left us on quite a cliffhanger and I’m curious to see how the season will be resolved on Sunday. I’m not looking forward to waiting 2 years for another season. I guess Season 3 of Mayfair Witches will out next year, which is another reason to give the series another shot, extending my association with this so-called “Immortal Universe”. And again, I feel like how you watch it all is the first 2 seasons of “Interview”, then the Mayfair Witches, then the 1 season of Talamasca, and then back to Lestat. But I’ll likely test that theory out at some point.

I spoke to my grandmother. I brought up the serial killer documentaries I’d watched and I was shocked to hear her name some of the killers, explaining that not only had she been around when many of the killings took place (as had I), but she owned books on the subject, including “The Michigan Murders”, explaining that those murders (just before my time) had terrified her as she worried about her daughters on a regular basis. Apparently my rather morbid weekend sojourn is something shared by various members of my family. Fascinating. She’s always surprising me.

I slept relatively well Monday night. This morning, Aaron showed me how to download an app on my phone that is connected to our new scale. I weighed myself and it gave me all sorts of information. Apparently I’m still overweight, but for the first time in at least 6 years, I’m under 200 pounds. 198.4, to be exact. And that’s definitely progress. I was 207 at a doctor’s appointment about a month ago. I know I’ve been a little more active but my diet has also changed quite a bit, so I’d guess that’s why I’ve improved. I believe I topped out around 220lbs – a little higher maybe? Something like that. So I’ve lost about 21 pounds. For years and years I weighed around 170, but I also didn’t look or feel healthy, so 180 sounds good to me. But I’ll also consult my doctors and see what the team thinks.

Today’s journal title song quote is from “This Is Not An Exit”, the final song from the “American Psycho” musical adaptation of the 1991 Bret Easton Ellis novel, which also features the song title as it’s final line. I was thinking of this on Saturday when I snapped a picture of just such a sign at the Stonewall Inn.