Tag: Trash

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“But she knows this and she smiles…”

I had such a productive day!!!

Before I started cleaning. 05-07-26.

I got quite a lot done on my Multiverse Saga draft for this place. Then I noticed that our home was verging on cluttered again, and started to clean. I cleaned the living room and the office, and then I started cleaning the bedroom, which I didn’t think to take before pictures of, but trust me, it looks so much better. I think I threw away 20 bags of things that will never fit me again if I’m lucky. I know that I’ve said that I want to lose weight, but much of this was stuff I saved from when I was thinner than was healthy for me to be, which I hope to avoid in future. Again, I’m trying to find balance.

After I finished with the living room and office I had a salad. 05-07-26.

I ate relatively well. I had some less balanced meals towards the end (a slice of pizza with chia seeds and then some chips) but earlier in the day I had a salad and later some kiwi. When I cleaned the bedroom I did hold onto a few pieces that have sentimental value – even as I threw out many, many more things that I’ve felt too attached to, to let go of in the past. The only thing that I really struggled with is this purple shirt, which an ex-bf left in my bedroom the last time I saw him before he joined the military. He’s alive, as far as I know. I mean, I’ve seen him since then, but he was a dick then and a dick much later on, which is why we’re not in touch. But when he left that first time I was in love with him, and I held onto this shirt for a long time because it smelled like him. It doesn’t anymore and I can see this past relationship more clearly now, but the memory of needing that shirt with me at the time, it lingers, and no matter how much I tell myself that this is stupid, and I should let it go, I haven’t been able to yet. But everything else I either outright wanted or just plainly didn’t need anymore.

Bedroom clean. You couldn’t see the floor near my closet when I started and there were so many clothes that they didn’t fit in said closet. The rack on the back of the door was also full, as was my night stand.

After all that I showered. Then I got dressed and took a fast walk around the block. It’s not far. But the point of doing it is to move and also to get outside, which has been challenging for me for about 6 years now. But this marked 5 consecutive days that I’ve gotten out, mostly of my own volition, and even when Aaron gave me a ride or something, I headed out on my own to other places. This is actual progress. I’ve not been out 5 consecutive days in…a very long time. So that felt good.

A poorly thought out photo that I snapped while waiting for the elevator. 05-07-26

Later still, some clothes that I ordered recently arrived. New underwear and socks. New boots. And 2 pairs of shorts. There’s more on the way. And I didn’t take pictures of the underwear / socks, even though those are cute too. I keep trying to get myself to buy more clothes, but I hate shopping. Oh – and everything fits!

Travis’s purple shirt. The new shorts and boots. 05-07-26.

I’m winding down now. getting ready for bed. I like going to bed early. Very early or very late. I guess I’m extreme? I’d like to get more work done on my site. I’d also like to order those clothes. And maybe see about seeing a specialist for a problem I’ve been struggling with for decades, but that last part might require Aaron’s assistance. I’m getting a lot better at being more independent, but sometimes I need help, and that’s okay. I mean, I did all the heavy lifting myself today!

Oh. And I read more of my Star Trek book, which is slowly taking shape. But just as has happened many times in my life before, I was tempted today to start a whole new series, which I’m trying to resist. I’d really like to finish a book. I used to do this quite often, but in the last few years, holding my attention has been pretty difficult. I was reading the Wicked Years and the spin-offs but when the author announced more were on the way, I stopped. I’ve not finished a book since. I think that was in 2024 but it may have been 2025. I don’t know.

Okay. I’m starting to get my thoughts jumbled which means I really should go to bed now.

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Wild Things (1998)

2022 Entry #013 01-30-22 “Wild Things” is a delightfully trashy 1998 American neo-noir erotic crime thriller film directed by John McNaughton and starring Matt Dillon (“In & Out”), Neve Campbell (“54”, “Three to Tango”, “Intimate Affairs”), Kevin Bacon (“Queens Logic”, “Beauty Shop”), Denise Richards (“Nowhere”), Bill Murray (“Tootsie”, “Groundhog Day”), Theresa Russell (“Black Widow”) & Daphne Rubin-Vega (“Flawless”, “Sex and the City”, “Smash”, “Rent: Live”, “Tales of the City” “tick, tick…BOOM!”). The story is set in south Florida, where a high school counselor (Dillion) is accused of rape by two female students (Campbell & Richards), but the police officers investigating (Bacon & Rubin-Vega) suspect something more is going on.

I’m sure this movie makes a lot of people’s guilty pleasure lists. Most of the characters (like “Basic Instinct”) are horrible people, but they’re so much fun! But why is the movie on this list? Spoilers follow, which frankly, are more fun to discover on your own if you’ve not seen it. But if you don’t care, then feel free to continue.

The film reveals (or at least implies) that Neve Campbell’s character, Suzie Toller, was lovers with Denice Richards’s character, Kelly Van Ryan, before the start of the film…and that she is also (secretly) Kelly’s aunt. The question of if that backstory is true or not is because this a twisty puzzle of a movie and it’s possible that some of that backstory is forged…and yet even if it’s all a lie…there’s more. During the film, Suzie and Kelly have sex, both with Dillon’s Sam Lombardo along as an instigator, and on their own. In addition to that, there’s a subtle homoeroticism between Lombardo and Kevin Bacon’s Sergeant Ray Duquette. In the film, Lombardo calls Duquette a cocksucker and the reaction from the Sergeant is priceless; and maybe it’s just me, but it left me feeling like Duquette has sucked off Lombardo at some point. If that seems too tenuous, there’s a famous scene later in the film where Lombardo returns to his cabin to find Duquette in his shower, with Kevin Bacon going fully frontal, and the two seem totally comfortable with this scenario. Mix this with Bill Murray’s sleazy lawyer character questioning if the student accusing Lombardo is male or female, Lombardo’s deck hands and him later putting Duquette in that role and there’s a lot of suggestion going on.

I read somewhere years ago that the creative team had toyed with making the men lovers but that they felt like that might cross a line, and as much as I would have loved to see it, they were probably right. The LGBTQ audience had started boycotting films that portrayed all the queer characters in movies as murderous, duplicitous monsters…and they may well have skipped this movie if that were the case here. And straight male audiences, tend to not go for gay male movie storylines; the inclusion and upset over minor gay characters in recent animated and comic book based films is unfortunately testament to that. And of course straight men and women generally find bi or lesbian women either titillating or completely non-threatening. Still, this movie felt like something a bit more than the usual girl on girl tease.

Oh. And stick around through the end credits.

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