“Inside My Heart”

Saturday, Aaron really noticed how being in the FL house was affecting me. There were roaches all over downstairs and despite us cleaning and working to improve the place, it just felt like these assholes who rented from us had destroyed the safe space we’d had before. We toyed with the idea of extending our trip so we could get more done but realized that was impossible as I didn’t have the supplies of medication to do so, and I was getting depressed. Aaron moved our flight from Tuesday to Sunday night.

Saturday night we went to see The Mandalorian and Grogu, the new Star Wars movie, which we both enjoyed. The audience was respectful and mostly stayed off their phones once the movie started. The film stands on its own and you wouldn’t know you were missing anything if this is all you saw but it combines elements from The Clone Wars, Rebels, The Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett. Nicely done. If I ever get around to rewatching the Star Wars universe, and I’d like to, I look forward to catching this one again when I have the saga fresh in my mind.

Sunday was all about preparing for the flight home, which when relatively well. I’m so happy to be HOME! And I’m glad that I don’t have to pretend to be okay when I’m not. I didn’t sleep great Sunday night, but part of that was because I was up very late working on various projects, some of which I continued today.

One of the projects that I just finished was a viewing order for The Conjuring Universe for my site. I’m happy to have another viewing order finished. Having to figure older lists out for my website is taking a long time and I’m a bit frustrated, feeling like I’m letting people down, as several have asked for this or that thing and I don’t want to stop to put that information elsewhere when I can have it on my website.

I’m very tired because of the not sleeping well and now that I’ve finished something I’m going to get ready for bed.

Oh. And I stepped outside for a moment so my going outside streak has not been broken. That’s 23 days in a row!

Today’s song quote title comes from Depeche Mode’s “Here is the House” from their 1986 album “Black Celebration”.

“Just one beat of your heart…”

Our trip to Allentown, Pennsylvania was a success. We picked up our friend Joanna from Starbucks and off we went across the GWB, into NJ and on to Pennsylvania, where we attended the Lehigh Valley Chorale’s 10th Anniversary concert, “The Road Home”, which was wonderfully quirky and really inspiring. The show was held at the Miller Symphony Hall (23 N 6th Street ยท Allentown PA 18101), a really great space! The director, Nick, who we all agreed, knocked it out of the park, will be coming in to lead the Stonewall Chorale over the next year and then carry the choir forward after Cynthia resigns. This was the first time I’d ever really spoken to Joanna but I’d seen her perform with the choir many times. We had other friends coming to the show but they were caught in traffic so they missed the first act. After the show I got to meet Nick and then Aaron, Joanna, Emily, Linda and their daughter and I all headed for our reservation at Simpatico (27 N 7th St, Allentown, PA 18101), an Italian restaurant, where our company was fantastic, our food was delicious, and our waiter smelled really bad. Oh well. I had never met Linda and this was the first time I really got to talk to her and her wife. They’re big Star Wars / Marvel fans and I loved talking to them about queer cinema.

After the restaurant we said goodnight and drove Joanna back to the city and returned home. Aaron and I had a great conversation about where we are, where we are headed, and how our goals, which had been diverted during the pandemic of 2020 could finally be continued now and I’m here for it! I know he’s excited and so am I. But I’m tired. So I showered and started getting ready for bed.

“Where are you? How are you? I wait for an answer…”

I slept more than 7 hours, which was wonderful. I dreamt about a home, where I’m from, secrets and hidden places on our property which don’t actually exist in reality, but which have some basis in fact and which are recurring elements in my dreams, which I cherish. I woke up around a quarter to 5. I had two missed calls, from Aaron & from Mark Adams. Both called shortly after I went to sleep. I suspect Aaron was just reaching out to let me know he’s okay and how his L.A. adventure is going while Mark was likely calling to talk about the new episode of Daredevil: Born Again, which probably ended around the time that he called – but I don’t know for sure, obviously.

When I got up to use the bathroom I saw that I had indeed caught the mouse in my traps. Often even finding a mouse in a trap I find it repulsive and it is a cause of some stress, but this time I felt a sense of victory. I swept the trapped mouse into the trash and I was done. I left the other traps just in case we have more than one pest, but I don’t think we do. I washed my hands, made a smoothie and decided I’d catch up on some of my TV shows.

I got caught up on Star Wars: Maul – Shadow Lord, watching the last 2.5 episodes, which brings us to episode 6. I’ve had mixed reactions to this series. It’s up to snuff with other animated Star Wars stuff like Tales, The Clone Wars, The Bad Batch & Rebels, but this has been the least compelling to date, which sounds like I hate it, but I don’t. I think what drags it down is the structure. We’re getting 10 episodes in Season 1, 2 episodes a week, but the story feels like a single movie randomly chopped into 10 pieces, so the endings all feel forced and obnoxious IMO. Everytime I feel like I’m finally getting into the series, it ends. I’d just wait and binge it but I don’t want to get that far behind on anything if I can help it. I will say that episode 6 (S01E06 “Night of the Hunted”) felt like the best episode so far and has many things I enjoyed, which made the first 5 all feel like setup, which is fine, but I wish I’d enjoyed the setup a bit more. Perhaps I’ll grow to love the series once this season is finished? We’ll see. The season will be over in just 13 days. A second season has been ordered but it’s unclear when that will arrive or what the story might be. I kind of hope there is a time jump between seasons and that we get a different Maul story that builds on this one while forging another way forward in a different location with different characters, but I really have no idea how this season ends, how that will affect my opinion, or what they have planned going forward. There has been so much new content since I last watched the majority of The Clone Wars (all 3 seasons of Tales, 2 final seasons of The Clone Wars, The Bad Batch and now this + Forces of Destiny) that I would really love to do a re-watch of this entire era, but I’m watching so much right now and I’m behind on even more, so it just doesn’t seem likely. Hopefully someday.

I’ll try to get to the other shows later, but I felt like taking a break.

“Top Ten in the Charts of Pain”

Yesterday was productive. I got tons done on the new website. It’s fun and a bit of an obsession right now. It can be relaxing but I have to remind myself to step away from the computer and get other things done and to take breaks so that I don’t get totally burnt out.

I got away yesterday for a not-so-fun reason. Aaron was in pain and told me he was going to CityMD. I had just eaten so I needed to sit still for a little bit but soon dressed and joined him at the clinic, which is just across the road from us. They let me back to see him just as he was about to have an EKG, which appeared normal, but they instructed us to watch out for certain signs and if we see any of those we are heading to an emergency room. He’s taken the day off of work today.

Later I watched the first 2 episodes of the new Star Wars: Maul โ€“ Shadow Lord series. It’s a little slow, as this is a new beginning, but I enjoyed most of it. We know Maul of course, and we’ve met Rook Kast in passing, but most of the characters and the world is new, so I’m okay with it taking a little time to get going. I wish the entire series was available now, because I would have binged it over a couple of days. I’m curious to see where this goesโ€ฆ

My gripes are few. The new world, the planet Janix, looks so similar to Coruscant, that if I hadn’t been paying attention, I’d have thought that was the setting. It makes sense that Maul would be on a different world as he’s avoiding entanglements with the Empire, but most worlds in Star Wars look at least a little different, and this looks exactly the same. Maybe there were visual cues that I missed. I also didn’t like the ends of the episodes. The cliffhanger moments make you want to watch the next one, which is the point, but again, if this was released all at once I’d be happier with that model. And then the pace, as I said, is a bit slow at times – or, more accurately, the faster paced stuff often didn’t matter to me, because I didn’t feel very invested in most of the new characters. There are already signs that this will likely change fairly quickly, but for now it feels problematic; trailers and posters have revealed later appearances by several known characters that will likely help with this.

I think this might be great in time. I’ve been wanting to re-watch The Clone Wars for several years now, not having seen most of it in over a decade, and with The Bad Batch and the Star Wars: Tales shorts in place, this could all be a lot of fun. But I’m currently watching so much stuff that this will have to wait for now. Hopefully someday!

Later I also continued on with my first time through The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (S01E06 “Udรปn”). I hadn’t watched any episodes in over a week and was worried I’d have lost interest again. I’ve tried twice before to get into this series but this time has been far more rewarding and I’m 2 episodes further than I’ve ever been. And this episode was fantastic, filled with multiple events that I had anticipated but had assumed would happen in the season finale but we still have 2 more episodes to go! There were also several surprises and my theories about this or that character are developing and changing with nearly every episode. I don’t know why it has taken me so long to get into this series but I’m really glad that I have. It’s also nice knowing that I have 10 more episodes as Season 2 aired over a year ago, and that Season 3 will include a time jump, which suggests that Season 2 will have an ending that won’t drive me crazy. I hope. lol

I only meant to stay up a little to see if I could update a few more items on my site but I ended up staying up past 4 am, listening to From the Choirgirl Hotel, the Tori Amos album released in May of 1998 and which I often listened to when building the first iteration of this website in the fall of that year. I eventually had to call it quits after working to exhaustion – and I knew I needed to sleep before my therapy appointment today. I slept for 6 hours. I had relatively intense dreams but they’re finally fading now. I woke with a migraine, which hasn’t happened much lately, for which I’m very grateful. I had a smoothie (with coffee) and took a small dose of pain medication.

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