Sunday, August 30, 20026. I went to sleep last night (Saturday, August 29) around 11pm after being crazy tired and reading maybe a page or two of my book. I woke up twice. I managed to get back to sleep. My dreams were dull. Aaron and I took over a bar / gas station / restaurant and he gave me a jukebox that only took cassette tapes and .45 records. The gift was shared with one of his lovesick lines about me, which always make me smile. Jennifer Clemente stopped through, buying those collectible bobbleheads? There was more that I don’t remember. At the end I was driving, following directions, and I made a wrong turn, ending up on a recurring nightmare image that I’ve not seen in a long time, in which I go over a bridge which is so tall and that I get frightened as I drive up the first side of it. I pulled over in the dream and walked back down.
I woke around 6. Got back to sleep again, briefly, woke up at 7. Got up. Made a blueberry zucchini smoothie. I added too much almond milk, but it’s fine. I’ll finish getting ready pack up the things I needed to use this morning. And I need the uber to pick me up in about 2 hours.
The Uber was easy and early. My bag was 7 lbs heavy and cost $100. I paid with Amazon card but know now in future to always use American Express as they reimburse us. I would have tried but the card had failed several times this week, even after Aaron said he fixed it. I used it to by snacks (after I breezed through security): mixed salted nuts, Smart Water and plantain chips. I went to the Sky Club to chill with a vodka neat. I called my father (David), my grandmother and my cousin Linda. My flight started boarding at 12:15, which is when I got onboard. Though I don’t “look like it”, I’m legally disabled and I always worry about not having enough time to get settled so I always board early and I’ve only been hassled about it once, by another passenger, and I called them out on their bullshit, loudly. The flight was calm. The man sitting next to me was a giant, tall and muscular, had to raise the armrest between us to sit down, but he wasn’t unruly, and mostly slept.
Detroit Metro was like coming home, which I suppose it is. I’ve now flown there so often that I know my way around pretty well. I knew right where to go and what to do. And Aunt Marge was on time. She got me to Mooreville and I got to visit with Grandma, Janice, Jill, Marge & Mike, Linda, Marion, Joy and Nate. Mary Ellen stopped in to drop the car off and was thrilled about her farm fresh tomatoes. I left as soon as decency (and Joy) would allow. I was tired and hungry and aching for a shower, but also nervous about driving after so long, getting groceries before the store closed, getting checked into my hotel, and unloading everything on my own before I could relax, shower, eat and unwind…but I did all those things. It took me awhile to get to sleep and I woke a few times but I slept more often than not.
Side note: Joy. My cousin has been going through something. I’m not sure what it is, but I feel like it must be grief. Both her father Dwight and step-father Marvin died in December. It makes sense that she would be grieving and I hope that’s all it is, but I’ve spoken to her many times in the last few months and she always sounds stoned. She calls at all hours and it’s very difficult to hold a conversation with her. She’s not cruel. She’s very nostalgic and sweet! But she doesn’t respect my time or my boundaries at all. I’ve also now seen her in person twice this summer and both times I’m sure she was on drugs. This last time she annoyed several people who were there (as I was later told) and she lied to my face. She recorded a video of a very sensitive conversation. I asked at the time if she was recording and she said no. I know she actually did record it because she sent me the video. It starts with me asking if she’s recording and her lie to me that she isn’t. When I called her on this behavior she said I was being mean. She also played loud music when others were trying to speak and I later learned that she stayed at my 95 year old grandmother’s home until after 10pm, despite one of the concerns of my visit being that we might keep grandma awake too long. That’s far from the whole thing, but it’s enough. I worry that there might be something psychologically going on with her, some sort of mental illness. Sometimes people are compared to children as an insult, but several people who spoke of her behavior after compared her to a child and I could tell, they weren’t trying to be dismissive or insulting, she really did behave like a child would. The lie about the video sounded like something a 3 year old might do, thinking they were being clever. She’s 52. I was angry about the lie, but more than anything, I’m just really worried about her. I reached out to a relative closer to her who might be better equipped to help and also, just to see if I was overreacting, but not only did they agree that my concerns were valid, they had different but similar experiences that mine added context too. So I hope this works itself out. I’m not sure what else I can do. I don’t live there. And I don’t think talking to her about it will help at all. She’s told me things that she should be communicating to a doctor. Her mother, who I also adore, is surely also grieving the deaths of her husband and ex-husband, so I didn’t feel right reaching out to her. I really hope I’m worrying over nothing. I just don’t think that I am.
Monday, August 31.
Joy sent me the video this morning but I’ve explained that already.
I was up and ready when Aaron and Bernard arrived. It was wonderful to see them. Bernard had injured his thumb somehow, and on their trip to Michigan, they’d spoken to Bernard’s mother who was extremely weak; they had an ambulance take her to hospital and Bernard left to join her right away.
Aaron and I decided to stay in and relax. It was raining and we’d both had some stressful days, and we didn’t really have any plans for the day. I tried to set something up with Darla for Tuesday but she’s come down with a cold. Jennifer wanted to see us so we’re going to have Aaron’s haircut appointment at 3. Then we’ll pick up Jennifer from the V.A. Hospital in Detroit for some dinner before we take her home. Aaron’s sister may join us as well. Jennifer will actually be in the New York area when we get home so we may get to see her twice in 1 month, in 2 different States. Oh, and we’re meeting my dad and Janice Wednesday evening. And when we’re in town for Aaron’s appointment, we will likely stop by his mom’s to pick up some stuff we need for camping. Bedtime.
Tuesday, September 1, 2026. I struggled to sleep. I woke up several times. The air doesn’t really cool down much in the bedroom, which is where I like it to be cool. We bought a fan, which helped a little.
When I did get up, at 9, I felt relatively well rested. And I got up and had a smoothie. Aaron told me that Bernard fractured his thumb and that his dear sweet momma had sepsis and was basically comatose now. The news seemed to get worse throughout the day, though we tried to make the best of it. I shaved and showered while the news poured in. Later, Aaron took me over to see where I used to live on Longshore Drive & Wright Street. This is where I lived when I met Aaron. Then we went to the place he had lived when I met him.
The prognosis for Miss Peggy improved. They discovered the cause of her infection was an untreated kidney stone and performed a procedure to remove it. They also learned what kind of bacteria was causing her trouble, which allowed them to more effectively treat her exact condition. This made everything in the day feel far more hopeful.
We went to Detroit to see Jenna Drudi, Aaron’s fantastic hair stylist from days gone by, and we all got along famously. It was great to hear all their fun stories. She has a fucking amazing voice. She really needs to do a podcast!
Soon after we met Aaron’s sister Tristan for dinner at Ottava Via, in the historic Corktown neighborhood. The vibe was mostly chill (until later when it got very crowded), the food was delicious and the company was exquisite. Jennifer Clemente was planning on joining us but had to cancel as she was working late. We made plans to see her the following night.
After the dinner we parted ways and met up with Bernard and “Andy Pandy” at a spare apartment he owns? Bernard and Aaron worked on legal details concerning Bernie’s mother and plans of care. Andy and I chit-chatted, having met briefly in 2012 but never really talking. We had about as much fun as we could under the circumstances and I shared several of my viewing orders with Andy. And then Aaron I headed back to the hotel, stopping to get a few things from Meijer.
Wednesday, September 2. We tried to return items to Amazon via several locations but the struggle was real! Then we stopped by Mary Ellen’s for camping supplies before heading over to pick up my father and meeting Janice, Jordan and Jennifer for dinner. Earlier I had a spinach feta wrap from Starbucks, which quickly became a favorite of mine. I’d had a couple of them back in 2012 but my stomach couldn’t handle them at the time – it seems to be doing better now. I had a bit of a panic attack in the car having to do with something that happened a few years ago, which was brought forward by unexpected news. But I think I managed relatively well, grounding, talking to Aaron. I’ll need to talk to my therapist about that at our next appointment. Dinner went better than expected. Janice had also noticed Joy’s bizarre behavior. I think I steered the tone from “Joy is behaving like this and it’s annoying” to “Joy has been behaving like this for months, I think something bigger is going on and now we’re all very concerned”. Jennifer got to meet my dad. I got to speak to Jordan. Everyone got along. I sat between Janice and Dad, across from Aaron, who sat between Jordan and Jennifer.
On Thursday September 3rd, packing up the car for the camping trip was a nightmare. We had way too much stuff. The drive to the campground was stressful because of a storm we drove through, but otherwise the trip was fun. Not too long, listening to Good Hang. When we arrived we had to wait for a family of deer to move. Jesse, Mark and Mary Ellen were all in the office, checking in at the same time. We got situated. I was surprised to see Lisa, Andrew and Lindsey all arrive on Thursday as well. I think Jenn and her daughters were both there that day also? It’s a blur now. We didn’t do campfires that night; everyone was tired.
I’m not going to post all the pictures or talk about everything we did. It was a lot. And lots of people that I love were there. They know who they are – so if I miss anyone, it’s just that I’m very tired, so I’m going to rush this last part!
Friday, September 4, we spent time with family. Emily and Zach arrived that day. Tristan, Jasper and Mark Mora arrived that day, as did Andrew’s friends Sandy and John. Jasper fell in love with Sandy at the campfire that night. All was well. My cousin Chris arrived. I think Jocelyn (who lives in Iowa), Lisa’s cousin, also arrived that day. Saturday, September 5 we went kayaking, and I made my first solo trip, figuring it was some good exercise and a fun experience, which it was, though I was tired after. I also started coming down with a cold, or at least I noticed that I was. Tristan, Jasper and Mark Mora left that day. Chris stayed one more night but left in the morning. I mostly hibernated on Sunday, September 6. I made it known I had a cold and that I just wanted to keep everyone free of my germs. We did go to town for cough drops and pizza. I slept okay. But several others (Aaron, Liam, Lindsey, Andrew & later Chris) had cold symptoms as well, so it was going around. Most people left Monday, including Jesse though he left later in the day than most. Tuesday we headed out of Michigan, not stopping at Grandma’s, to keep her safe from the cold we both had. We stopped for the night in Altoona, Pennsylvania, and drove the last 5 hours or so home to New York today, arriving home around 2pm.
We unpacked and tried to relax. We ordered some groceries. Later, Aaron and I watched another episode of Strange New Worlds Season 4, as we were 3 episodes behind and would have been 4 episodes behind tomorrow. Unfortunately, we both really hated this episode (S04E05 “Level-Five Transporter Accident”) and we are both extremely disappointed in this series, which had a promising first couple of seasons, but Seasons 3 & 4 have been progressively worse. There are only 11 more episodes of this series, but it is really bad. I’m hoping the series improves before the end, but unfortunately, it will never be remotely close to what I had hoped it could be. Which, it’s not the creatives job to meet my expectations…we’re just really bummed that Star Trek seems to be ending this era with a whimper, rather than the bang that, again, we’d hoped for.
Aaron just went to bed. I should go to bed but I’m also a bit hyper and there’s so much I want to work on, so we’ll see where I end up.
Today’s journal entry title song quote is from “The Old Apartment” by the Canadian alternative rock group Barenaked Ladies, from their 1996 third full-length studio album, “Born on a Pirate Ship”. I’m not a huge fan of the band myself, but my partner loves them and once skipped school to score tickets to one of their shows. I’ve also had this song stuck in my head since we actually did go see our old apartments, so this seemed appropriate.
