Yesterday was rough. Aaron left that morning. I stayed up for a grocery delivery but then slept for 4 hours. I have some health stuff that is really not fun, which I’m not up to sharing at the moment. This place is really therapeutic for me but there’s a level of mistrust for those who might be reading it which I’m not sure how to get over. My original website had a comment section, and tons of ways to contact me, but I was far more naive then and I dread such contact now, even as I display so much of myself here. I know from statistics that a lot more people come here than I ever expected, but I don’t know who they are or what their interest is. Perhaps I should try to change that? But for now, there’s so much work to do that it’s not a priority.
I woke up in a haze, and I had messages from my cousin Joy and my friend Isaiah. I took the time to respond and showered and shaved. I was feeling down about several things and when I got out of the shower I could hear my downstairs neighbors shouting about a leak in their apartment. The super has seen this leak which he equated to a tiny little drop of water, but I’m not sure why this leak wouldn’t happen every time we shower if that was the cause – or why the leak stopped for years and has returned. There’s a lot of questions. But maybe this will lead us to some kind of answer. The super didn’t seem worried about it too much – and he was also clearly upset at being dragged into this on a Saturday, when he’d been taking a nap.
I walked to Starbucks for some tea, but really just to get outside and walk off some of what I was feeling. I also took a Xanax. I don’t take it often, but when I need it I’m glad that I have it. I spoke to Aaron & Bernard about what happened while I walked. That helped. When I got home I had a relatively long chat with Paul Dunn, an old acquaintance of mine, who hooked up with me around January 2001. The conversation was welcomed, friendly and illuminating. But I wanted to try to sleep, so I said goodnight. I chopped up some zucchini to freeze for my smoothies, using the last of the already prepared vegetable to make a cherry zucchini smoothie. I usually have coffee in my smoothies but I skipped it to help with the sleep. I had hoped to get some cleaning done, but yesterday wasn’t the day for it and if I started then I’m sure I’d have been up all night. I also wanted to work on several viewing guides.
I haven’t watched any television the last week. I have quite a lot to watch, or that I want to watch, and I might try to get to those this week as well.
I went to bed that night with some Nyquil, due to some throat irritation from my gastroparesis. I didn’t expect to sleep more than a few hours. I mean, I’ve been on sleeping medication for months and I’ve struggled sleep 6 hours, but I slept 12 hours without trying – getting up 3 or 4 times to pee, thanks to the diuretics I’m also taking (for kidney stones).
I had a morning phone call with Aaron and Bernard who were on their way from Virginia to Florida. I let Aaron know that I’d just read that tickets for Avengers: Endgame Encore are rumored to go on sale tomorrow. Then I had a smoothie and decided to work on a guide to Anne Rice’s Immortal Universe, which went well. I worked on it for hours, which was lovely.
When I took a break, a package meant for Florida arrived here and I called Aaron to let him know and to check in. I realized I was hungry and decided it was time to eat, but first I weighed myself. 186.4 pounds. Wow. That’s the least I’ve weighed in years. And I’m much closer to my goal of 170 pounds than I thought I would be at this point, so that’s great news. In 5 months I’ve lost 24.6 pounds. No diet pills. No starving myself. Just eating smarter and being a little more active. That amazes me. Which is probably obvious since I talk about it all the time now. lol
I think I’m going to have the last of those broccoli cheese tots. I really liked them.
Oh! And a big Happy Birthday to my sister Janice Jeffrey and our father David Wright! <3 I should be seeing them in a little over a week. But these pictures are from a few months ago, when I saw them in June.
Today’s journal title song quote is from “Underneath” by openly gay American singer Adam Lambert, from his second studio album, “Trespassing”, which was released on May 15, 2012. The album debuted at number one on the Billboard 200, selling 77,000 copies in its first week, making Lambert the first openly gay artist to do so in history.
