Depth Before Estrangement

Holding him up,
bare chested,
helping him piss
with as much dignity
as we could manage
in his drunken confessional state…

“Is that guy really your type?”

His dream was an unsuspected plot twist
which he felt had ruined his character;
an angry embarrassing accusation
which left me flattered, confused
and deeply protective.

His dream inspired a jealousy
that I couldn’t have fathomed.

He never told me the details
and I never asked.

This early stumble,
an unexpected crucible
which allowed for nothing less than
hot hard facts
inspired by revelatory dreams
which haunted us both.

My ego suggests his version of the truth
might have been why
he drank to such excess that night…
but who am I kidding?

That’s what alcoholics do.

And yet his light of day
honesty united us more than
any nighttime weaknesses
could have shattered us…
transforming anger into respect,
confusion into admiration…
and an unexplored threatening lust
into the building blocks
of a friendship long shadowed by
an insistent innocent eroticism.

Written by Jason Wright
May 23, 2019

For Bryan

“De-crucify the Angel.”

Scott Weiland sings to me
in performance once dedicated
by Michigan Bryan
years before his building caught on fire
and Scott Weiland had died.

The Weiland ghost does not understand,
continuously encouraging me to
watch Lost in Space on his television,
which makes me smile
the saddest of sad smiles.

One charming copy
of a beautiful dead man’s soul
does not resurrect
all the beauty we have lost.

Written by Jason Wright
November 29, 2018

For Bryan Alfaro, who introduced me to
Scott Weiland’s “Barbarella” in a most appreciated fashion.

Dream Lover

The boy in the dream…
ex-lover of mine.

He wasn’t quite real
but feels left behind.

I studied old photos;
remembered each gesture.

How could I forget
how we lay there together?

With ink on his chest
and lace on his boots…

He looks different now
there before his recruits…

But drawn just the same
and remember the laughs…

Remember the sex
and our hearts torn in half…

He sings of me now
though I didn’t know…

Can I reach out to him
through this ghostly glow?

Perhaps he’s not real?
Perhaps pictures lie?

The woman with pills
who sees him replies
she’s never known man
drinks pills with tequila…

She once dressed like me
and grew heliophila…

She smoked marijuana
and smiles at ghost…

Blond boy with eyes
outlined through the smoke…

Who gives me regret
but mostly just joy…

I wake and I write this
for dream of that boy.

He was fragments I’ve missed
from men that I’ve known…

Men that I’ve kissed
who were real flesh and bone…

Men I’ve pursued or just
played with for pleasure…

Each inspiration a man
that I treasure.

Four men I’ve known;
I remember them all:

Erich & Spike
& Bryan & Paul.

Written by Jason Wright
November 5, 2017

For Erich (H), James (M), Bryan (A), & Paul (S).

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