Tag: Inspired by Brian William Lounsberry

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Contradistinction, FEAR & Numbers

On Brian’s July twenty-fourth
forty-second birthday
I’m wearing the “Allergic to Sunlight” shirt
that I bought in late summer two-thousand
to wear for my beloved Shawn (F)…
I include his last initial
because there were two Shawns of note that year.

I switch the E & A Trains on
forty-second street…

“Strike that! Reverse it!”

I almost miss that transfer
as I write about my Shawn R. experiences;
I was wearing the same shirt the night that I met him
in October two-thousand…
before we were lovers,
before we were friends,
and before he recently fucked me again;
bringing closure and revelations,
inspiration and fascination with all that this act entailed
and all that lay revealed in the aftermath.

Written by Jason Wright
July 24, 2019

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The Day After Dream

The day after dreaming
of lakes and of drowning
with lost lovers speaking / escaping / surmounting…

The day after Brian
had turned forty-two
(though former Hawaiian was lost to me too)…

The day that a cousin
came out to heartbreak
and family treasure was lost in a lake…

When Aaron confessed
to the death with his crying:

Was my dream of sex
just prediction of dying?

Written by Jason Wright
July 30, 2018

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Day of the Dream

In the dream, on Brian’s 42nd birthday,
Aaron drives into lake,
which covers family riches.

And back at campground
I find well adjusted Michael,
with his playful latin lover,
who allows us our alone time
to heal, cuddling naked
and sharing our long overdue kisses,
shared decades after repeatedly fucking
for close to 10 years
straight.

This is something
that he wanted for so long
and I try to let him breathe
and I’m surprised to learn
they fixed that years ago –
I didn’t know that they could.

He’s happy and clean,
old with regret yet somehow
young in the satisfaction
of decisions finally made.

There was
no wife –
no children –
no victims –
and he was saving himself
before drowning in his own lies.

Written by Jason Wright
July 24, 2018

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July of December

Nothing to write but I feel like it’s coming.
Waves are still crashing. Heart is still humming.
Jumping through hoops to receive your bouquet…
The truth was delivered on Brian’s first day.

Brian was there in two-thousand winter.
First month of year pierced heart like a splinter
which remains there today; his birthday remembered:
January dream in July of December.

There was snow where he touched me.
Brian, scared that he loved me.
Brian stared. Brian cared as I woke with a fright.
And there in the shade of the dream where we made love
he carried and married me all through the night.

Seven-teen years and I still feel those kisses
though we never have visits; explicit or shamed.

And I never accepted he’d been resurrected
for in death I was blessed while in life only blamed.

Written by Jason Wright
July 26, 2017

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