Diet – BALD JASON'S GAY GOTH BOY BLOG

August 2, 2026August 21, 2026

“The Tears and the Sweat”

Aaron and I watched Star Trek: Strange New Worlds S04E02 “The Griffin Incident” Thursday night (07-30-26). The episode is another of SNW’s horror themed tales, which was quite gorey for a Star Trek episode and which really disturbed Aaron, who doesn’t enjoy horror or gore of any kind. I was less bothered, but I still didn’t enjoy it very much, and while there was some horror trope fun in there for me, and some good continuity elements, there was a line about Kirk being a Boy Scout, which I hated so much (because of how it changes how a scene in “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan” plays now) that neither of us felt great about this installment of the series.

Mary Ellen and Mark arrived on Friday (07-31-26). We had several workers at the FL house who got a lot of stuff done; it looks a lot better, vasty improved. I’d share pictures of this but I’m not sure how to do that until I get back to New York, so maybe I’ll update these posts later, or just put them in a new post. We’ll see. [Edit: Post Updated!]

We worked most of the day though I had to take extended breaks due to my disability. Everyone here knows that and were kind. I was able to join everyone for dinner at Giovanni’s, which was nice. We’ve never actually been at the house with Mary Ellen and Mark, though I have been to FL with Mary Ellen and Aaron, a little over 10 years ago, to see Aaron graduate from Full Sail University. 10 years. Crazy. And on that trip we also did Marvel-y stuff, seeing the premiere of “Captain America: Civil War” and riding Marvel themed rides at Universal.

I slept pretty well that night. Well enough that I basically got up at the same time as Aaron (on Saturday, August 1, 2026), rather than staying in bed for several more hours. Aaron, Mary Ellen and Mark had a meeting, with Aaron teaching them how to run the Air B&B, while some of the guys (Bruno and Pablo) replaced the various light switches. I had a smoothie so I needed to let my stomach settle but they were still at it later so lathered on the sunblock and went for a walk.

Aaron and I picked up Bernard from the airport; his flight was delayed a bit due to a thunderstorm, but he was with us soon enough to get to Ikea before they closed. But while we waited for him to arrive I got some unhealthy snacks due to desperation and hunger; there really weren’t any healthy options for me. I’m sure it’s fine; what matters is that I’d rather have something else and that junk food doesn’t make up the majority of my diet anymore – far from it. When we got back to the house it was about 9. We played a game of Cards Against Humanity with Mary Ellen and Mark (which Aaron won with 9; Bernard and I tied for 2nd with 8 each) then headed for bed.

Our bed, which has been very unstable for awhile, collapsed. We already had a new one ordered that we hoped to have delivered before we arrived but has been delayed until Monday. However, Mary Ellen and Mark’s bed collapsed the previous night, so they moved to another room, where that bed also collapsed. I don’t know what the fuck the long term renters did to this place but they really screwed us over. And we will be taking them to court! Despite all of that, I slept okay last night. The bed collapsed in the center so I kept trying to stay out of that space but kept falling back in. lol I got up relatively early (on Sunday, August 2, 2026), took my meds and had a smoothie. I’m just chilling now. I always need to sit for awhile after I eat.

I keep checking in to see how Spider-Man is doing at the box-office and the movie is clearly on track to be very successful, which is great news for the Marvel Cinematic Universe, because even though this is a Sony movie, it’s a chapter in an ongoing story with appearances by various characters, some of whom will appear in at least one of the upcoming Avengers films, with setups for “Avengers: Secret Wars” and the new “X-Men” as well. The next Marvel movie in theaters is “Avengers: Doomsday” in December, which as far as I know doesn’t feature most of these characters (though it definitely features one of them) but I wouldn’t be surprised if these characters pop up in a credit scene or something in that movie to bridge this story to “Avengers: Secret Wars”. We’ll also have more Marvel news in just 12 days time when the Marvel panel at D23 happens.

In 10 days I’ll be 52. And my concerns seem to be healthy. Good food and exercise, which honestly has never really been on my bingo card save for a brief period in 2006. It’s taken a lot to get from there to here, but I seem to have arrived. I didn’t know that it would take 20 years then, but I’m so happy that I started that journey when I finally did. I’m happy where I am. And I’m looking forward to where this path will take me next.

Oh! Funny story. The scale we use at home gives a crazy amount of information and one of the things it says about me is my “Muscle Mass”, which I assumed was BS, because while I know that everyone had muscles, I’ve never had muscles. But when I was applying sunblock 2 days ago I grew concerned and asked Aaron to look at something, because I thought my leg was swollen…only it was a muscle. lol I’m so clueless about health and food, but hopefully it’s adorable. We both laughed. lol

And something that just happened: Bernard walked by our door just as Aaron was opening it…with my erection on display. I would have covered up but I thought everyone was downstairs. lol He said he didn’t mind. lol

It sounds like the new couch, which wasn’t going to be here until tomorrow just arrived, which removes some of our collective stress! Today will be busy. We have 2 more nights here and then head out. Mary Ellen and Mark will head back to Michigan. Aaron will fly to Santa Fe. And Bernard and I will fly to NYC, though we don’t live close to one another, as he lives in the Bronx and I live in Manhattan. I’ve lived in NYC for nearly 14 years (having moved there on September 25, 2012) and spend most of my time in Manhattan, which is still confusing at times – and I’ve spent far less time in the other parts of the city. Perhaps in time that will change.

I went out with Aaron to run some errands before we wound down again, returning to our broken bed (which doesn’t look that bad in pictures, but when you’re in it, that’s a very different story – which is not a metaphor for our relationship!).

I’ve had this song stuck in my head for days and that’s the only reason that it’s today’s journal title song quote, really. “Dance No More” by Harry Styles, released on March 6, 2026, as the tenth track on his fourth studio album, “Kiss All the Time. Disco, Occasionally.” (2026). Styles wrote the song alongside Thomas “Kid Harpoon” Hull, who was the song’s producer. It has been seen as a fan favorite of the album and has been highlighted in reviews. The song was released as the third single from the album with an accompanying music video on 7 May 2026.

June 10, 2026

“I Guess I’m Just Older Now”

I took my time getting ready for my dietician appointment, but when I was ready, I was happy. I was a little nervous, but Aaron put me at ease and seeing the doctor again was about as good as it was the first time. I saw her 2.5 years ago and she gave me wonderful advice, but my insurance took forever to cover the appointment and it spooked me – only I really need this kind of help, due to my gastroparesis and also for my PTSD, so this was a good day. Aaron spoke up for me anytime I stumbled but I did do a lot of the speaking for myself. He later said how proud he was of me for making the appointment happen so quickly, showing up and being open to this work, which made me feel good. I thanked him also. This was a team effort.

My dietician works in the fancy part of the FANCY PART of town. Hard to imagine this being the same island that we live on.

We ordered some groceries. I have cravings for different foods but I’m excited to try some new stuff. This could be very difficult, but sometimes things like this surprises me. And I have my therapist to help and I need to reach out to another therapist about some group work that 2 of my other doctors have recommended I try. So many doctors! But I feel very lucky to have their input.

I took a sleeping pill which is starting to kick in and I need to sleep.

The song quote journal title comes from “Emo Song” by “The Haunted Youth” from their album Boys Cry Too.

May 4, 2026May 4, 2026

“And if I feel this way for so long tell me, is it all for nothing?”

Instead of going for a walk, I cuddled with Aaron, which he was very grateful for. I had a smoothie. I looked at the weather and we were to have a high of about 60 degrees around 4pm. Aaron revealed that he had choir practice in the West Village. I had a slice of pizza, got ready and then rode down to the village with him, arriving about 2pm. We held hands in the rental car, which we needed as our car, Ruby, had a flat tire the day before. I went with Aaron to Dunkin Donuts but I abstained from all the sugary snacks. We went to Saint John’s Lutheran Church, where my former writers group, The Poetry Table, used to meet. It is always so nice to see everyone! Cynthia Powell, the choir director welcomed me with a big hug. I asked her if I could get a photograph. She put on some lipstick and agreed.

I left as the choir began their warmups. I walked to the Stonewall Memorial where I snapped another picture. The wind chill was a bit more chill than I like my wind! But I wanted to walk and I was dressed appropriately. I kept getting cold, pulling my sleeves down, getting warm, rolling them up, getting cold…

I walked around a bit and ended up at Washington Square Park. I sat for awhile and walked around some more. It was pretty crowded, despite the fountain not being on, and it was fun to watch the various groups of people. I snapped a few pictures of the Washington Square Arch just before I exited the park and headed out.

I had a nice, windy, walk around the village. I needed to pee so I stopped into the Stonewall Inn before I headed to the A train. Only there were delays on that track which would require a shuttle service so I walked over to the 1 Train instead and finally headed home on a very crowded train. When we were approaching 181st Street, the woman next to me had a coughing fit and I asked if she needed / wanted a cough drop but she aid her mouth was just very dry. I informed her I was getting off the train at the next stop and that she could have my water, which she accepted. I felt good that I was able to help. I walked the few blocks home, got undressed and took a shower.

I was hungry. I had cauliflower and broccoli with ranch dressing, while I read the news and chatted with some friends. Later, I realized I was up to leaving the house again, got dressed and went for a second walk, running into Aaron at the gate as he was arriving home. Initially intending to walk to the Little Red Lighthouse under the George Washington Bridge, I got distracted by some greenery and headed down Bennet, through the subway to Bennet Park where I called my recently widowed cousin Linda, so we could make each other laugh, the way we always do. I spoke to her as I took the long way home. She asked if I was in an elevator when I was heading up the the apartment and I told her I was. She said hello to Aaron and then we said goodnight. I played some Zelda and had another smoothie. I was still very hungry though so I opted for another slice of pizza, with added chia seeds. I got a call from Mark Adams and his daughter Raven and we spoke while I got ready for bed, and then I passed out pretty quickly. I woke up at 4:30 and wrote this.

While writing this I started getting a visual migraine and quickly took the appropriate medication for such an event. It was a struggle to continue writing as I was only able to see about half of the screen, but I did it. The visual obnoxiousness has mostly faded now. But when I’m done I’m going back to bed.

And I guess I’m done now? I slept well. But if I can get a bit more sleep that would be nice and would undoubtedly help with the migraine which is likely to begin in about 20 minutes or less. I feel like I had a good day yesterday. I avoided overly sugary / salty snacks, only drinking water or smoothies, and I also managed to get outside multiple times for some exercise. I don’t have much planned for today. Possibly watching the final Maul episodes of the season and I’d like to go Aaron’s pool game (if he goes). Otherwise I think I’m good. Oh, and I need to write a review for Claire of the Moon, which I was going to do now, but again, that’s not a great idea now. I hope everyone is having a good day!

And now it is Tuesday, May 4th! Happy Star Wars Day! May the 4th Be With You! <3

May 3, 2026May 3, 2026

“What kind of pills are you on?”

I did not sleep well Friday night. Sometimes I’m fine on my own. Others, it’s hard to sleep without Aaron there. Also, I have psychological stuff that pops up now and again. When I was a kid I used sleep on the floor, in front of my sister’s bedroom door. I thought I was protecting her and I would fight to stay awake. That comes back to me as an adult and I resist sleeping. It’s why sleeping pills are such a temptation for me; because I don’t even think about sleeping and I’m out like a light. I only slept 4 hours. But I also took the night off of Zolpidem / Ambien, which meant that I could take it without guilt on Saturday night. Any decrease in Ambien consumption is a win and I’m doing better controlling that then I have in years.

Saturday, I got up early and worked on my website about half of the day. The other half I was fighting off a recurring migraine I’ve had for about a week. I get those a lot this time of year. Well, anytime of year really, but I’m on Aimovig, which cuts the number of migraines I have in half. I used to have them almost every day and now it’s a couple of times a week, occasionally less, which probably sounds horrible to most people, but to me, it’s like a vacation! But this is a particularly bad time of year for my migraines and this is clearly a cluster. So that bit sucked. I gave in and took my meds. I have an inhaler that helps with most of my worst migraines but it has negative side effects so I don’t take it unless I need it. But that didn’t help. I took a scalding hot shower and also took some Ibuprofen and Tylenol Migraine and eventually they helped, but I could tell the migraine was still there, beneath the surface.

Later I rewatched one of my guilty pleasure movies, “Claire of the Moon”. A lesbian drama film with some questionable acting choices. It’s not a great movie but I love it so much. It was the right call. I last watched it about 6 years ago. And I’ll likely see it again someday. It’s a comfort movie for me. Also, I’m trying to revisit the movies I watched but didn’t write much about during my LGBTQ+ movie marathon that began in 2020; some of those movies were viewed before I started reviewing them and others I just didn’t get around to writing. But now that they have a home here, I will try to stay on top of it, which should be pretty easy. I’m not watching 5 or 6 a day anymore and also, I don’t have to keep track of them as much, so once I’ve transferred all the reviews from Facebook, I can take my time, have fun and not worry about getting it all right.

I went to bed around 10pm. I slept until around 7. Friday night I had dreams that I was at Meijer and that Lisa and Emily Murray were there with Aunt Karen. Last night I dreamed that I was seeing a Spider-Man film with Janice and her kids, and as we left, Tom Holland and Zendaya were with us – and I actually think Tom was on one of Janice’s kids. There were also dreams that I was living on a boat with Aaron / Mark. A whale had crashed through the boat and I was surveying the damage, the whale still in the hull. Later I learned that Aaron / Mark had imprisoned the whale to pull us to our destination and was so angry. I was telling him / them that if the whale died that I would never speak to him / them again when I woke up. The latter dream seems heavily influenced by Doctor Who’s “The Beast Below” (S05E11) but I haven’t even thought about that episode in years so I’m not sure why that popped up here.

I want to lose weight. Which is not something I’ve really had to contemplate much in my life. Growing up, I was relatively thin due to PTSD tied into eating. And in my late 20s my stomach became partially paralyzed, which I’ve struggled with ever since. 9 years ago, I was a little under 164 pounds. I weigh over 200 pounds now. I think I weighed 220 for awhile and maybe I still do? I’m a little afraid to look. I’ve recently changed my diet for the better, dropping ice cream and replacing ice cream shakes with smoothies, with each ingredient being much healthier than the ingredients in the shakes. I also stopped eating a type of of pizza (pretzel crust) which was delicious but had more salt on it than was healthy; it even included a health hazard warning! I’ve also stopped eating bacon and peperoni, which I was eating often before. I’ve not sworn off these foods but I’ve made it a point to not eat them on a daily basis. I’ve also drastically reduced my intake of potato chips. I still get them once or sometimes twice a month, but for many years I had them every single day. I have fruit every day. I have veggies often. All that is to say that I’ve made some really good dietary choices. But I need to start exercising. If I could, I would run, but it’s very high impact at a point in my life with that seems really not good for my body – and it would likely aggravate my stomach. I’m leaning more toward stair climbing, hiking and taking more walks. And if I can find something a bit more heart intensive that works for me, that would be wonderful. I miss dancing but there are no clubs near me that I enjoy and while I can dance at home, it’s not easy when I’m rarely on my own.

I need new shoes. Good comfortable shoes for walking / hiking. The shoes I have now are nice but I got them in 2021 I think and I’ve since walked many miles in them, all around the world: Belize (Harvest Caye), England (London), France (Marseille, Nice), Greece (Athens, Mykonos, Olympia, San Torini), Honduras (Roatan), Malta, Mexico (Costa Maya, Cozumel), Monaco (Monte Carlo), Italy (Florence, Naples twice, Pisa, Pompeii, Rome twice, Sicily twice, Taormina) Spain (Barcelona) + the United States: Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Texas (Galveston & Houston) – at least.

I had a smoothie this morning, which has mostly settled. I think I’m going to get ready and try to go for a walk.