Aching for him in cyber-hereafter, Waiting is cruel when aroused by his laughter, Innocence twisted to meet my demands, My lover handled by innocent hands committing a crime of passion and craving, He thinks that he kills me but my life he’s saving, It’s my lust that drives him and corners him here, He has no idea that I’m not sincere, He thinks me a victim or thinks me a fool, He’s only a pawn providing me fuel to achieve the experience of realized fantasy… Transcending world through beautiful tragedy.
He turns to reveal the pass he has made, So bad he’s made Vlad stand erect without aid, And we wait for response as I yearn for the trade… The words go unheard but once read they degrade.
That’s what I needed. That’s what I wanted.
I need to be teased. I need to be taunted.
I need to be damaged and drowned in their piss.
But in losing the game I am winning in bliss.
But it’s more than just that; it’s more complicated…
Tears fall from eyes I’ve rinsed and repeatedly cleaned as I’ve organized words that defeated and tore me asunder like peace disappeared with the heat of the summer and ice of my fears with soul crushing weight of tears from my lover:
We all know the heart is the loneliest hunter.
I’m so very tired and I’ve hated this night…
But my symptoms are clear and I know what is right.
I hurt him with thoughts that he never guessed.
Jealous reminder of that man undressed.
Devouring fear that seldom ignores me,
As Aaron convinces… As Aaron implores me to live my own life in spite of my sickness.