“I’ll Cry Until the Candles Burn Down This Place”

On Wednesday, August 12, 2026 I did several things I’d never done before. I turned 52. I started taking calcium & vitamin D12 supplements (which are delicious). And I worked out in a gym, taking my first ever Zumba Class with Aaron. Also, I successfully touched my toes. That must seem odd, but I’ve never been able to do it before. I’ve never even come close! Small victories? Perhaps. But they all felt great and they all made me very happy. Aaron also got me some gifts – including flowers and balloons – and lots of kisses. It was a good day. I’m 52 years old. But I feel so much younger! And I know I look way younger than people did in their 50s when I was a kid, so that’s a nice bonus!

I went to bed, having some healthy snacks along the way but I only slept until 3am. I’ve been editing photos and catching up on my blog since then. I didn’t realize until just now that it’s been almost 5 hours! I also had a smoothie in that time.

I’m going to go cuddle with Aaron while there is time!

Today’s journal entry title song quote is from “Pity Party” by Melanie Martinez.

40

Ten years ago today I was at Pizza House
with friends and family and coworkers.

I still have the clothes I wore that day
and they still look new.

My reflection scares me a little bit.

Funny, I know.

But what I mean is that I feel like I look the same as I did then.

I should be grateful for that…and I am,
but it’s part of what makes me feel trapped.

In the past,
all those years ago,
I got stuck.

I’ve tried moving forward
with some amount of success
but eventually the anchor
prevented me from moving
anywhere beyond a certain point.

So I’ve been going back in time to free myself…
because nobody else will ever (could ever) save me.

It’s an appealing image.

The victim as cross dimensional savior of self.

Or maybe I’m just as crazy as he was
because I’m losing it in my old age.

Written by Jason Wright
August 12, 2014

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