Friday morning’s appointment (10-09-26) with Aaron went well, I think. I’m glad his treatment is going well. Our friend Bernard was going to drive us but had some medical problems and had been in the E.R. the night before, so we took an Uber, which was expensive. Aaron asked if I might do some of the driving from now on, driving us from his appointments from White Plains to just outside Manhattan, and that by then he should be able to park the car. I’ve never really driven anywhere near New York, even though I’ve lived here for 14 years, but I agreed I could do that. Aaron appreciated my attentiveness and support.
The trip wasn’t without its triggers and I wrote something new, though I’m not sure that it’s any good. It served its purpose. I was tired all day and took a few naps. I went to bed early, before 7pm, slept until around midnight, then got up until around 4am (10-10-26) and went back to bed, cuddling with Aaron for a big chunk of that time. I had good dreams, though I can’t remember the details now. When I woke I worked on my Marvel Viewing Order, which is far from finished, but is finally in a less embarrassing state – I don’t mind if people stumble on it now, and I might ask a few friends for feedback. I updated several other pages also.
I showered, ate, and checked to see if there was any Star Trek news from NYCC, the main piece being that Season 2 of Starfleet Academy will arrive in March of 2027. That series was cancelled earlier this year (which seemed to be political in nature) and the final season of Strange New Worlds will also be released next year – and this era of Trek that began with the first Kelvin Timeline film in 2009 will come to an end. They’re working on a new movie but it will be a new creative team with no ties to the old, as far as I know. I loved a lot of this era, but I’ve had a few disappointments as well – most notably, Season 2 of Star Trek: Picard and the 2 recent seasons of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds + Section 31 – otherwise I was pretty happy with everything.
Today’s journal entry song quote title is from “The Ubiquitous Mr Lovegrove” by British-Australian neoclassical darkwave band Dead Can Dance, from their 1993 sixth studio album “Into the Labyrinth”, which I first heard in late 1994 (via Gene Warrick), though at the time, I assumed it was much older than that. Gene was a creep, and a rapist, so I used to have really bad associations with a lot of the music that he played for me, but I eventually softened on Dead Can Dance, New Order and Kate Bush – but I’ve never really come to enjoy Christian Death.
Sunday, August 30, 20026. I went to sleep last night (Saturday, August 29) around 11pm after being crazy tired and reading maybe a page or two of my book. I woke up twice. I managed to get back to sleep. My dreams were dull. Aaron and I took over a bar / gas station / restaurant and he gave me a jukebox that only took cassette tapes and .45 records. The gift was shared with one of his lovesick lines about me, which always make me smile. Jennifer Clemente stopped through, buying those collectible bobbleheads? There was more that I don’t remember. At the end I was driving, following directions, and I made a wrong turn, ending up on a recurring nightmare image that I’ve not seen in a long time, in which I go over a bridge which is so tall and that I get frightened as I drive up the first side of it. I pulled over in the dream and walked back down.
I woke around 6. Got back to sleep again, briefly, woke up at 7. Got up. Made a blueberry zucchini smoothie. I added too much almond milk, but it’s fine. I’ll finish getting ready pack up the things I needed to use this morning. And I need the uber to pick me up in about 2 hours.
The Uber was easy and early. My bag was 7 lbs heavy and cost $100. I paid with Amazon card but know now in future to always use American Express as they reimburse us. I would have tried but the card had failed several times this week, even after Aaron said he fixed it. I used it to by snacks (after I breezed through security): mixed salted nuts, Smart Water and plantain chips. I went to the Sky Club to chill with a vodka neat. I called my father (David), my grandmother and my cousin Linda. My flight started boarding at 12:15, which is when I got onboard. Though I don’t “look like it”, I’m legally disabled and I always worry about not having enough time to get settled so I always board early and I’ve only been hassled about it once, by another passenger, and I called them out on their bullshit, loudly. The flight was calm. The man sitting next to me was a giant, tall and muscular, had to raise the armrest between us to sit down, but he wasn’t unruly, and mostly slept.
Detroit Metro was like coming home, which I suppose it is. I’ve now flown there so often that I know my way around pretty well. I knew right where to go and what to do. And Aunt Marge was on time. She got me to Mooreville and I got to visit with Grandma, Janice, Jill, Marge & Mike, Linda, Marion, Joy and Nate. Mary Ellen stopped in to drop the car off and was thrilled about her farm fresh tomatoes. I left as soon as decency (and Joy) would allow. I was tired and hungry and aching for a shower, but also nervous about driving after so long, getting groceries before the store closed, getting checked into my hotel, and unloading everything on my own before I could relax, shower, eat and unwind…but I did all those things. It took me awhile to get to sleep and I woke a few times but I slept more often than not.
Side note: Joy. My cousin has been going through something. I’m not sure what it is, but I feel like it must be grief. Both her father Dwight and step-father Marvin died in December. It makes sense that she would be grieving and I hope that’s all it is, but I’ve spoken to her many times in the last few months and she always sounds stoned. She calls at all hours and it’s very difficult to hold a conversation with her. She’s not cruel. She’s very nostalgic and sweet! But she doesn’t respect my time or my boundaries at all. I’ve also now seen her in person twice this summer and both times I’m sure she was on drugs. This last time she annoyed several people who were there (as I was later told) and she lied to my face. She recorded a video of a very sensitive conversation. I asked at the time if she was recording and she said no. I know she actually did record it because she sent me the video. It starts with me asking if she’s recording and her lie to me that she isn’t. When I called her on this behavior she said I was being mean. She also played loud music when others were trying to speak and I later learned that she stayed at my 95 year old grandmother’s home until after 10pm, despite one of the concerns of my visit being that we might keep grandma awake too long. That’s far from the whole thing, but it’s enough. I worry that there might be something psychologically going on with her, some sort of mental illness. Sometimes people are compared to children as an insult, but several people who spoke of her behavior after compared her to a child and I could tell, they weren’t trying to be dismissive or insulting, she really did behave like a child would. The lie about the video sounded like something a 3 year old might do, thinking they were being clever. She’s 52. I was angry about the lie, but more than anything, I’m just really worried about her. I reached out to a relative closer to her who might be better equipped to help and also, just to see if I was overreacting, but not only did they agree that my concerns were valid, they had different but similar experiences that mine added context too. So I hope this works itself out. I’m not sure what else I can do. I don’t live there. And I don’t think talking to her about it will help at all. She’s told me things that she should be communicating to a doctor. Her mother, who I also adore, is surely also grieving the deaths of her husband and ex-husband, so I didn’t feel right reaching out to her. I really hope I’m worrying over nothing. I just don’t think that I am.
Monday, August 31.
Joy sent me the video this morning but I’ve explained that already.
I was up and ready when Aaron and Bernard arrived. It was wonderful to see them. Bernard had injured his thumb somehow, and on their trip to Michigan, they’d spoken to Bernard’s mother who was extremely weak; they had an ambulance take her to hospital and Bernard left to join her right away.
Aaron and I decided to stay in and relax. It was raining and we’d both had some stressful days, and we didn’t really have any plans for the day. I tried to set something up with Darla for Tuesday but she’s come down with a cold. Jennifer wanted to see us so we’re going to have Aaron’s haircut appointment at 3. Then we’ll pick up Jennifer from the V.A. Hospital in Detroit for some dinner before we take her home. Aaron’s sister may join us as well. Jennifer will actually be in the New York area when we get home so we may get to see her twice in 1 month, in 2 different States. Oh, and we’re meeting my dad and Janice Wednesday evening. And when we’re in town for Aaron’s appointment, we will likely stop by his mom’s to pick up some stuff we need for camping. Bedtime.
Tuesday, September 1, 2026. I struggled to sleep. I woke up several times. The air doesn’t really cool down much in the bedroom, which is where I like it to be cool. We bought a fan, which helped a little.
When I did get up, at 9, I felt relatively well rested. And I got up and had a smoothie. Aaron told me that Bernard fractured his thumb and that his dear sweet momma had sepsis and was basically comatose now. The news seemed to get worse throughout the day, though we tried to make the best of it. I shaved and showered while the news poured in. Later, Aaron took me over to see where I used to live on Longshore Drive & Wright Street. This is where I lived when I met Aaron. Then we went to the place he had lived when I met him.
The prognosis for Miss Peggy improved. They discovered the cause of her infection was an untreated kidney stone and performed a procedure to remove it. They also learned what kind of bacteria was causing her trouble, which allowed them to more effectively treat her exact condition. This made everything in the day feel far more hopeful.
We went to Detroit to see Jenna Drudi, Aaron’s fantastic hair stylist from days gone by, and we all got along famously. It was great to hear all their fun stories. She has a fucking amazing voice. She really needs to do a podcast!
Soon after we met Aaron’s sister Tristan for dinner at Ottava Via, in the historic Corktown neighborhood. The vibe was mostly chill (until later when it got very crowded), the food was delicious and the company was exquisite. Jennifer Clemente was planning on joining us but had to cancel as she was working late. We made plans to see her the following night.
After the dinner we parted ways and met up with Bernard and “Andy Pandy” at a spare apartment he owns? Bernard and Aaron worked on legal details concerning Bernie’s mother and plans of care. Andy and I chit-chatted, having met briefly in 2012 but never really talking. We had about as much fun as we could under the circumstances and I shared several of my viewing orders with Andy. And then Aaron I headed back to the hotel, stopping to get a few things from Meijer.
Wednesday, September 2. We tried to return items to Amazon via several locations but the struggle was real! Then we stopped by Mary Ellen’s for camping supplies before heading over to pick up my father and meeting Janice, Jordan and Jennifer for dinner. Earlier I had a spinach feta wrap from Starbucks, which quickly became a favorite of mine. I’d had a couple of them back in 2012 but my stomach couldn’t handle them at the time – it seems to be doing better now. I had a bit of a panic attack in the car having to do with something that happened a few years ago, which was brought forward by unexpected news. But I think I managed relatively well, grounding, talking to Aaron. I’ll need to talk to my therapist about that at our next appointment. Dinner went better than expected. Janice had also noticed Joy’s bizarre behavior. I think I steered the tone from “Joy is behaving like this and it’s annoying” to “Joy has been behaving like this for months, I think something bigger is going on and now we’re all very concerned”. Jennifer got to meet my dad. I got to speak to Jordan. Everyone got along. I sat between Janice and Dad, across from Aaron, who sat between Jordan and Jennifer.
On Thursday September 3rd, packing up the car for the camping trip was a nightmare. We had way too much stuff. The drive to the campground was stressful because of a storm we drove through, but otherwise the trip was fun. Not too long, listening to Good Hang. When we arrived we had to wait for a family of deer to move. Jesse, Mark and Mary Ellen were all in the office, checking in at the same time. We got situated. I was surprised to see Lisa, Andrew and Lindsey all arrive on Thursday as well. I think Jenn and her daughters were both there that day also? It’s a blur now. We didn’t do campfires that night; everyone was tired.
I’m not going to post all the pictures or talk about everything we did. It was a lot. And lots of people that I love were there. They know who they are – so if I miss anyone, it’s just that I’m very tired, so I’m going to rush this last part!
Friday, September 4, we spent time with family. Emily and Zach arrived that day. Tristan, Jasper and Mark Mora arrived that day, as did Andrew’s friends Sandy and John. Jasper fell in love with Sandy at the campfire that night. All was well. My cousin Chris arrived. I think Jocelyn (who lives in Iowa), Lisa’s cousin, also arrived that day. Saturday, September 5 we went kayaking, and I made my first solo trip, figuring it was some good exercise and a fun experience, which it was, though I was tired after. I also started coming down with a cold, or at least I noticed that I was. Tristan, Jasper and Mark Mora left that day. Chris stayed one more night but left in the morning. I mostly hibernated on Sunday, September 6. I made it known I had a cold and that I just wanted to keep everyone free of my germs. We did go to town for cough drops and pizza. I slept okay. But several others (Aaron, Liam, Lindsey, Andrew & later Chris) had cold symptoms as well, so it was going around. Most people left Monday, including Jesse though he left later in the day than most. Tuesday we headed out of Michigan, not stopping at Grandma’s, to keep her safe from the cold we both had. We stopped for the night in Altoona, Pennsylvania, and drove the last 5 hours or so home to New York today, arriving home around 2pm.
We unpacked and tried to relax. We ordered some groceries. Later, Aaron and I watched another episode of Strange New Worlds Season 4, as we were 3 episodes behind and would have been 4 episodes behind tomorrow. Unfortunately, we both really hated this episode (S04E05 “Level-Five Transporter Accident”) and we are both extremely disappointed in this series, which had a promising first couple of seasons, but Seasons 3 & 4 have been progressively worse. There are only 11 more episodes of this series, but it is really bad. I’m hoping the series improves before the end, but unfortunately, it will never be remotely close to what I had hoped it could be. Which, it’s not the creatives job to meet my expectations…we’re just really bummed that Star Trek seems to be ending this era with a whimper, rather than the bang that, again, we’d hoped for.
Aaron just went to bed. I should go to bed but I’m also a bit hyper and there’s so much I want to work on, so we’ll see where I end up.
Today’s journal entry title song quote is from “The Old Apartment” by the Canadian alternative rock group Barenaked Ladies, from their 1996 third full-length studio album, “Born on a Pirate Ship”. I’m not a huge fan of the band myself, but my partner loves them and once skipped school to score tickets to one of their shows. I’ve also had this song stuck in my head since we actually did go see our old apartments, so this seemed appropriate.
Yesterday was rough. Aaron left that morning. I stayed up for a grocery delivery but then slept for 4 hours. I have some health stuff that is really not fun, which I’m not up to sharing at the moment. This place is really therapeutic for me but there’s a level of mistrust for those who might be reading it which I’m not sure how to get over. My original website had a comment section, and tons of ways to contact me, but I was far more naive then and I dread such contact now, even as I display so much of myself here. I know from statistics that a lot more people come here than I ever expected, but I don’t know who they are or what their interest is. Perhaps I should try to change that? But for now, there’s so much work to do that it’s not a priority.
I woke up in a haze, and I had messages from my cousin Joy and my friend Isaiah. I took the time to respond and showered and shaved. I was feeling down about several things and when I got out of the shower I could hear my downstairs neighbors shouting about a leak in their apartment. The super has seen this leak which he equated to a tiny little drop of water, but I’m not sure why this leak wouldn’t happen every time we shower if that was the cause – or why the leak stopped for years and has returned. There’s a lot of questions. But maybe this will lead us to some kind of answer. The super didn’t seem worried about it too much – and he was also clearly upset at being dragged into this on a Saturday, when he’d been taking a nap.
I walked to Starbucks for some tea, but really just to get outside and walk off some of what I was feeling. I also took a Xanax. I don’t take it often, but when I need it I’m glad that I have it. I spoke to Aaron & Bernard about what happened while I walked. That helped. When I got home I had a relatively long chat with Paul Dunn, an old acquaintance of mine, who hooked up with me around January 2001. The conversation was welcomed, friendly and illuminating. But I wanted to try to sleep, so I said goodnight. I chopped up some zucchini to freeze for my smoothies, using the last of the already prepared vegetable to make a cherry zucchini smoothie. I usually have coffee in my smoothies but I skipped it to help with the sleep. I had hoped to get some cleaning done, but yesterday wasn’t the day for it and if I started then I’m sure I’d have been up all night. I also wanted to work on several viewing guides.
I haven’t watched any television the last week. I have quite a lot to watch, or that I want to watch, and I might try to get to those this week as well.
I went to bed that night with some Nyquil, due to some throat irritation from my gastroparesis. I didn’t expect to sleep more than a few hours. I mean, I’ve been on sleeping medication for months and I’ve struggled sleep 6 hours, but I slept 12 hours without trying – getting up 3 or 4 times to pee, thanks to the diuretics I’m also taking (for kidney stones).
I had a morning phone call with Aaron and Bernard who were on their way from Virginia to Florida. I let Aaron know that I’d just read that tickets for Avengers: Endgame Encore are rumored to go on sale tomorrow. Then I had a smoothie and decided to work on a guide to Anne Rice’s Immortal Universe, which went well. I worked on it for hours, which was lovely.
When I took a break, a package meant for Florida arrived here and I called Aaron to let him know and to check in. I realized I was hungry and decided it was time to eat, but first I weighed myself. 186.4 pounds. Wow. That’s the least I’ve weighed in years. And I’m much closer to my goal of 170 pounds than I thought I would be at this point, so that’s great news. In 5 months I’ve lost 24.6 pounds. No diet pills. No starving myself. Just eating smarter and being a little more active. That amazes me. Which is probably obvious since I talk about it all the time now. lol
I think I’m going to have the last of those broccoli cheese tots. I really liked them.
Oh! And a big Happy Birthday to my sister Janice Jeffrey and our father David Wright! <3 I should be seeing them in a little over a week. But these pictures are from a few months ago, when I saw them in June.
Today’s journal title song quote is from “Underneath” by openly gay American singer Adam Lambert, from his second studio album, “Trespassing”, which was released on May 15, 2012. The album debuted at number one on the Billboard 200, selling 77,000 copies in its first week, making Lambert the first openly gay artist to do so in history.
I slept about 6 hours but I tossed and turned, waking up in a very uncomfortable position. My back hurt a little. When I was a kid I slept on the floor and didn’t sleep in a bed until I was around 10? When I would sleep on the floor I’d roll in my sleep, waking in a very different place than when I fell asleep. It’s the same now at times in bed, only I don’t roll out of the bed, thankfully. lol
When I got up around noon, after stretching and responding to some texts, I weighed myself again. 189lbs. I was a bit surprised by that. I was 189.4 yesterday, but I expected to weigh a bit more today. People, I’ve learned this year, gain and lose a few pounds most days and I figured that yesterday’s reading was me at my lower end of that scale, but apparently not. Hopefully this trend continues. I want my PCP to be shocked at my results next month. lol And then I plan on switching doctors. I’m still pissed about how my results were fucked up back in June and the tailspin that I very narrowly avoided.
I had a blueberry zucchini smoothie for breakfast. Later I tried some broccoli cheese tots, which I enjoyed. I worked on my website, starting a DC Multiverse page – which is in a very early stage. My friend, Michael Anderson, who often consults me for viewing orders recently asked for my Arrow Multiverse order. I gave him what I had finished, which he said was perfect. I have it saved as a Google Spreadsheet, but now I’ve started converting that information to be displayed here. But I want to do something beyond the Arrowverse. I mean, the Arrowverse interacts with the DC Extended Universe (in their adaptation of “Crisis on Infinite Earths”), which clearly ties into the current DC Universe. So I’ll try to break it all down here.
After working on that for several hours I shaved and I showered. I was thinking of my mom again, so wore the elephant key chain she gave me out to get more unsweetened black iced tea. It helps me feel closer to her. When I got back some repairmen came by to fix our washer / dryer – which seems to have been an easy fix actually, so that’s nice – if that’s what was the problem. Aaron is getting ready and packing. He’s leaving tomorrow morning with Bernard, heading to Florida for a week before he & Bernie drive to Michigan on the 30th. I’ll be flying to Michigan that day to meet them, and we’ll be out of New York until September 9. I shouldn’t have to travel again until Thanksgiving (Florida) and then Christmas (Michigan again). Anyways, I’m bummed that Aaron will be gone. I don’t mind being on my own and I do cherish my alone time during the day, but it’s different when Aaron is gone for days at a time. I don’t freak out or anything – but it’s difficult to sleep when his side of the bed is empty. It feels wrong. I’m sure lots of couples can relate.
I just had a cherry zucchini smoothie. I may have some pita bread later with lettuce, or possibly an egg white wrap with olives and hummus, or possibly both, depending on how long I’m awake. I feel tired now, but I’ve had trouble getting to bed this early for at least a week so it seems unlikely that I’ll just fall into bed anytime soon.
Today’s journal entry title song quote is from “Where Is My Man”, a song from 1983 by the American singer and actress Eartha Kitt, which appeared on her 1984 album I Love Men. The song was co-written by openly gay comedy writer Bruce Vilanch along with musicians and producers Fred Zarr and the also openly gay Jacques Morali. As far as I know I’d never heard this song until earlier this year. I love it.
Tuesday (08-18-26) afternoon, Aaron walked over to Columbia Hospital with me to see if I could get an appointment on the books (or even be seen that day); he’d tried to call to make this appointment but was transferred 3 or 4 times before he gave up. The walk was nice for me, and the company was excellent, but Aaron wasn’t feeling well. He apologised profusely for “slowing me down”, but I was outside with him to be with him, and I was quite content. We made it to the hospital and the people that helped us at the clinic were lovely. I’ve been to that hospital a few times over the years, but I’d never been to that clinic so they took some information. The guy who was checking my information, kept looking at me, then my information, and back at me. I didn’t understand what was happening, because I’m totally clueless, but Aaron knew right away and assured him that I am actually 52 years old. lol We all laughed. I have an appointment on Monday, though I’m not sure how helpful that will be – my symptoms could be gone by then. Still, I like this clinic and if this gets me in the door faster next time – and I suspect they’ll be able to give me some good advice, so I will still probably go.
Aaron still wasn’t feeling well. He had tried a new type of food that possibly had too much bread, which can cause issues with his lap band, so I suggested taking the A Train from 168 to 181st, and then I could stop at the grocery store there to get some more pita bread for myself.
We chilled during the afternoon. My stomach was feeling a bit wonky as well, which is totally normal for me, but we had plans to go see our friend Christian’s show at Joe’s Pub. My stomach was actually really bad, because I’d forgotten about the show and eaten more than I should have. It was all healthy food, but even healthy food is too much if I’m going to be out and about. Still, I decided to push through. I don’t often get to have these nights out with Aaron these days, and I don’t get to see Christian often. Plus Bernard would be performing, along with Tony Mowatt, who I hadn’t seen in years, so I got ready and off we went…
The show was a fun mix of Christian’s music. His work is really quirky, but also very heartfelt and personal – and it shows. I love the space, Joe’s Pub, because I’ve had so many fun experiences there over the years. I believe we’ve been going there since 2013? So a long time now. We’ve seen Jay Brannan (from “Shortbus“) perform there 3 or 4 times. We’ve seen Christian there at least twice – and I know he’s had more shows there, but I’m not always able to attend. Actually, I think this was the third time I’d seen him there. I think the first time we were there was to see Ryan Amador. Physically, it was rough for me, but it was worth it in the end. And seeing Christian afterward, who didn’t know I was there, was really lovely. Tony as well, who told me that I never age. I didn’t get to talk to him much, but he was fantastic. He played a guitar during one number and, I hadn’t known he played, but Aaron said that he plays something like 5 different instruments? Impressive.
Aaron’s former coworker Shawn Jeffery was there also and we had a brief conversation which felt…it felt like she had some anger that I had never noticed or suspected before, and it felt like she was expressing this the first time because she doesn’t work with Aaron now. This interaction felt hostile, but Aaron said that she’s awkward at times and that I may have misinterpreted the situation – which I hope I did, because I’ve always liked her as a person. I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever see her again to find out, but whatever the case, I wish her well. Another of Aaron’s former employees, Nicole was there; I know she works with Christian now so I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. A nice surprise. I spoke to Vincent “Vinnie” Rutter-Covatto briefly and I traded texts with Glenn Seven Allen, who was busy with another show so couldn’t attend. Joseph Reese Anderson wasn’t there either, which was a bit surprising – too bad, because he’s awesome. There were lots of people there that I recognized that I’d have trouble putting a name too, but it’s a wonder that I remember as many as I do, really. I actually think I’ve improved in that arena. lol
On Wednesday, August 19, Aaron and I were planning on attending our second Zumba Class, but we still weren’t feeling too great. We mutually decided to not go, but I knew I at least wanted to go for a walk so I got ready to do that, and I caught my second wind and decided I would in fact attempt to go – though Aaron still didn’t feel like going. I made it to the class early and had another great experience. My stomach was not doing great so I only worked out for 50 minutes, versus 60, but I knew I was at my limit and that I also had to walk home, which is about 10 blocks, much of it uphill. I feel like it was worth it.
Today, August 20, I slept in. If you can call it that. I went to bed at 4am. I slept about 5 hours. I’m really struggling with sleep lately. But part of that has to do with my stomach and part of it has to do with my struggle with sleeping pills. I’m trying not to take them, but even when I do they don’t help much. When I did get up, I weighed myself for the first time in days and I was 189.4 pounds. That seems to be where I live now. Between 189 & 192. I got ready and went for a walk, finally wearing the shirt I got at Rocky Horror, back on July 3.
When I got to the subway my card was denied. That was a bit worrisome because that’s the card with my discount on it – and the card I will need to enter the Sky Club at the airport when I travel to Michigan in a little over a week from now. I used another one though and just managed to catch the train.
Fort Tryon Park was beautiful as always, but with the overcast sky and far more browned, fallen leaves than I expected, it really did feel like the onset of autumn, despite the warm weather. I walked over to Lindon Terrace, had some water, then started heading home. All in all this walk was about 1.5 miles. Not much in the grand scheme of things, but comfortable, and not pushing too hard with my stomach being bad – and on and off rain. I had an umbrella, but didn’t need it. It started pouring after I got home though.
I worked on my website for several hours, mostly on the Velgarth Reading Order, as I’ve been reading a bit of that before bed each night. There was a time when I’d read more of the series than I hadn’t, but no longer. There are now at least 20 full novels that I’ve never read and at least 10 anthologies, so I’m really far behind. Who know if I’ll ever catch up?
I took a shower when I got home, before the website work. I also wrote a poem and wrote down fragments of another, neither of which have been posted here yet. Later I took a restful nap. I’m winding down a bit now and may get ready for bed. I’m not certain I’ll sleep, but I could probably get some reading done. We’ll see.
Today’s journal entry title song quote is from “Somebody That I Used to Know”, an addictive single from Australian singer-songwriter Gotye, featuring vocals from the New Zealand singer Kimbra. Commercially, “Somebody That I Used to Know” was a global success and became both artists’ signature song.
On Monday, August 3, we got a lot of our new furniture sorted – including our new bed. A lot of work was done. Though there was also a lot of drama as we were running out of time. I still managed to get another walk in, which was needed, and relaxing. There are these little lizards that live all around our FL house and I spotted something like 16 of them on my walk, but a lot of very playful chipmunks. Bernard and I went to run errands that night to help with the workload, though we were tired, and when we got back there had clearly been a serious argument, possibly just before we arrived, so things were very tense. It took a long time to get to bed that night, but the new setup was very comfortable.
On Tuesday, August 4, we all got up early, all feeling better I think. We got ready and headed to the airport, making short work of security and all sat in the Sky Club; Aaron and I have our own entries and Aaron using passes for Bernard, Mark and Mary Ellen. Aaron left first as his flight was around 11:30. Mark and Mary Ellen followed soon after. While Bernard and I weren’t leaving until 2. Our flight went smoothly. We arrived early at LaGuardia Airport in Queens, and then shared an Uber, which dropped off Bernard first in the Bronx and then got me home before 7pm in Manhattan. When we landed, Aaron had texted to reveal that his transfer flight in Atlanta had been delayed. He always has the worst time at that airport!
On Wednesday, August 5, I had therapy, which went really well. I stayed in.
On Thursday, August 6, I made my way to my cardiologist’s office in Hell’s Kitchen. I hadn’t seen him in about a year, having scheduled my first visit in 2025 out of an over abundance of caution – so I wasn’t expecting anything to go poorly. But not only did it go well, but it went extremely well. I felt great. I thought I looked pretty good. And my doctor said that I was doing everything right! He was impressed by my weight loss, my increased activity and healthier diet. It put me in such a good mood to hear that. I’ve been working really hard to improve my health and I’m finally starting to see some of the benefits of that, and it’s wonderful. I did later hear from his office that he wants me to be tested for something – but I’m not sure why and I’m not overly concerned about it. He may have even mentioned it in the appointment and I just didn’t keep that in my brain, which is a problem with me and doctors in general.
Friday, August 7, I stayed in again, but this was due to warnings about heat, air quality, and later, a thunderstorm. I worked on my website. I wrote a poem. I read. I cleaned out the refrigerator. And I watched an episode of X-Men ’97 (S02E06 “Danger.exe”) before heading to bed early. Despite being tired, it took me several hours to get to sleep. When I did, I felt rested despite sleeping only 6 hours.
So far, today, I’ve just been updating my blog with all the photos (which I have to convert before I can post – which takes a lot of time) and details that I can remember. This is something I’ve been putting off and has been on my list of things I need to get done, so it feels good to knock it off that list.
I should probably eat.
Today’s journal title song quote is from “Feel Good Too” from “Mystical Magical Rhythmical Radical Ride”, which is the eighth studio album by openly bisexual American singer-songwriter Jason Mraz.
Aaron and I watched Star Trek: Strange New Worlds S04E02 “The Griffin Incident” Thursday night (07-30-26). The episode is another of SNW’s horror themed tales, which was quite gorey for a Star Trek episode and which really disturbed Aaron, who doesn’t enjoy horror or gore of any kind. I was less bothered, but I still didn’t enjoy it very much, and while there was some horror trope fun in there for me, and some good continuity elements, there was a line about Kirk being a Boy Scout, which I hated so much (because of how it changes how a scene in “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan” plays now) that neither of us felt great about this installment of the series.
Mary Ellen and Mark arrived on Friday (07-31-26). We had several workers at the FL house who got a lot of stuff done; it looks a lot better, vasty improved. I’d share pictures of this but I’m not sure how to do that until I get back to New York, so maybe I’ll update these posts later, or just put them in a new post. We’ll see. [Edit: Post Updated!]
We worked most of the day though I had to take extended breaks due to my disability. Everyone here knows that and were kind. I was able to join everyone for dinner at Giovanni’s, which was nice. We’ve never actually been at the house with Mary Ellen and Mark, though I have been to FL with Mary Ellen and Aaron, a little over 10 years ago, to see Aaron graduate from Full Sail University. 10 years. Crazy. And on that trip we also did Marvel-y stuff, seeing the premiere of “Captain America: Civil War” and riding Marvel themed rides at Universal.
I slept pretty well that night. Well enough that I basically got up at the same time as Aaron (on Saturday, August 1, 2026), rather than staying in bed for several more hours. Aaron, Mary Ellen and Mark had a meeting, with Aaron teaching them how to run the Air B&B, while some of the guys (Bruno and Pablo) replaced the various light switches. I had a smoothie so I needed to let my stomach settle but they were still at it later so lathered on the sunblock and went for a walk.
Aaron and I picked up Bernard from the airport; his flight was delayed a bit due to a thunderstorm, but he was with us soon enough to get to Ikea before they closed. But while we waited for him to arrive I got some unhealthy snacks due to desperation and hunger; there really weren’t any healthy options for me. I’m sure it’s fine; what matters is that I’d rather have something else and that junk food doesn’t make up the majority of my diet anymore – far from it. When we got back to the house it was about 9. We played a game of Cards Against Humanity with Mary Ellen and Mark (which Aaron won with 9; Bernard and I tied for 2nd with 8 each) then headed for bed.
Our bed, which has been very unstable for awhile, collapsed. We already had a new one ordered that we hoped to have delivered before we arrived but has been delayed until Monday. However, Mary Ellen and Mark’s bed collapsed the previous night, so they moved to another room, where that bed also collapsed. I don’t know what the fuck the long term renters did to this place but they really screwed us over. And we will be taking them to court! Despite all of that, I slept okay last night. The bed collapsed in the center so I kept trying to stay out of that space but kept falling back in. lol I got up relatively early (on Sunday, August 2, 2026), took my meds and had a smoothie. I’m just chilling now. I always need to sit for awhile after I eat.
I keep checking in to see how Spider-Man is doing at the box-office and the movie is clearly on track to be very successful, which is great news for the Marvel Cinematic Universe, because even though this is a Sony movie, it’s a chapter in an ongoing story with appearances by various characters, some of whom will appear in at least one of the upcoming Avengers films, with setups for “Avengers: Secret Wars” and the new “X-Men” as well. The next Marvel movie in theaters is “Avengers: Doomsday” in December, which as far as I know doesn’t feature most of these characters (though it definitely features one of them) but I wouldn’t be surprised if these characters pop up in a credit scene or something in that movie to bridge this story to “Avengers: Secret Wars”. We’ll also have more Marvel news in just 12 days time when the Marvel panel at D23 happens.
In 10 days I’ll be 52. And my concerns seem to be healthy. Good food and exercise, which honestly has never really been on my bingo card save for a brief period in 2006. It’s taken a lot to get from there to here, but I seem to have arrived. I didn’t know that it would take 20 years then, but I’m so happy that I started that journey when I finally did. I’m happy where I am. And I’m looking forward to where this path will take me next.
Oh! Funny story. The scale we use at home gives a crazy amount of information and one of the things it says about me is my “Muscle Mass”, which I assumed was BS, because while I know that everyone had muscles, I’ve never had muscles. But when I was applying sunblock 2 days ago I grew concerned and asked Aaron to look at something, because I thought my leg was swollen…only it was a muscle. lol I’m so clueless about health and food, but hopefully it’s adorable. We both laughed. lol
And something that just happened: Bernard walked by our door just as Aaron was opening it…with my erection on display. I would have covered up but I thought everyone was downstairs. lol He said he didn’t mind. lol
It sounds like the new couch, which wasn’t going to be here until tomorrow just arrived, which removes some of our collective stress! Today will be busy. We have 2 more nights here and then head out. Mary Ellen and Mark will head back to Michigan. Aaron will fly to Santa Fe. And Bernard and I will fly to NYC, though we don’t live close to one another, as he lives in the Bronx and I live in Manhattan. I’ve lived in NYC for nearly 14 years (having moved there on September 25, 2012) and spend most of my time in Manhattan, which is still confusing at times – and I’ve spent far less time in the other parts of the city. Perhaps in time that will change.
I went out with Aaron to run some errands before we wound down again, returning to our broken bed (which doesn’t look that bad in pictures, but when you’re in it, that’s a very different story – which is not a metaphor for our relationship!).
I’ve had this song stuck in my head for days and that’s the only reason that it’s today’s journal title song quote, really. “Dance No More” by Harry Styles, released on March 6, 2026, as the tenth track on his fourth studio album, “Kiss All the Time. Disco, Occasionally.” (2026). Styles wrote the song alongside Thomas “Kid Harpoon” Hull, who was the song’s producer. It has been seen as a fan favorite of the album and has been highlighted in reviews. The song was released as the third single from the album with an accompanying music video on 7 May 2026.
I didn’t go out at all yesterday. It had been raining and thundering for about 24 hours and I just didn’t feel like it. Plus I knew I’d be traveling today, so I rested up a bit, posting lots of poetry and packing as much as I could. I spoke to Mark and Raven about Marvel; Raven loved “Ms. Marvel” (her new favorite) and disliked “Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness”, though she, like me, did not think of Wanda as bad. They’re currently watching “She-Hulk: Attorney at Law”. They’re really booking it through Marvel, though of course there are heaps of multiversal stories that they’re skipping, like “Agent Carter”, “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”, “Inhumans” (ick), the Marvel Netflix shows, the X-Men films etc. Raven is paranoid about spoilers, even when I explain that what I’m telling her aren’t spoilers because she doesn’t plan on watching this or that thing. Hopefully we can talk about it all when she’s caught up.
After I picked I started to get ready for bed, falling asleep a bit after 10. I woke up a little after 3am. I tried to get back to sleep but failed. I just kept having all these great ideas or things I needed to remember for the trip. I made notes. Then when I couldn’t get back to sleep I got up, had a smoothie and implemented one of the ideas: a poetry index, listing the poems on my site in the order they were published. It’s not finished but it’s something I can easily work on in FL and it will make my life a lot easier and I have to compare what is located here to other sources and scanning through the poetry pages, backwards, was annoying me. I feel good about it. And I look forward to developing it further.
I went back to bed, making more notes occasionally before diving into some Aaron cuddles, first as the big spoon, and then shortly as the small spoon. Perfection. But it’s time to get up now. And Aaron will need to pack. And I want to eat. I don’t often eat when I travel, but I think that it’s early enough that I should be okay. I hope.
We have to leave here at about noon. Our flight isn’t until 3pm and hopefully won’t be delayed despite the weather. I really hope this trip goes smoothly, both the travel and the time at the house, which bordered on nightmarish last time – but there’s been a lot of work done since then, and there will be more done while we’re there. It will also be nice to see Spider-Man tomorrow, Mary Ellen on Friday and I think Bernard arrives on Saturday? We head our separate ways on Tuesday.
I thought of so many things that I can write about earlier. Hopefully that comes to fruition; sometimes if I don’t do these things in the moment, I never do them, but I can’t today.
Today’s journal title song quote is from “It’s Alright (Baby’s Coming Back)”, written and recorded by the British pop music duo Eurythmics. It was released as the fourth and final single from their 1985 album Be Yourself Tonight. The song was produced by Dave Stewart, and the song’s brass arrangement was devised by Michael Kamen. The single became Eurythmics’ tenth Top 20 hit in the UK where it peaked at number 12, but was less successful in the United States, stalling at number 78 on the Billboard Hot 100. As songwriters, Annie Lennox and Dave Stewart received the 1986 Ivor Novello award for Best Song Musically and Lyrically.
I didn’t hear the song when it was new, but years later when I caught the music video which I found to be lowkey, but oddly mesmerizing. Some time later, I briefly went out with a guy (Rudy) who owned the cassette tape of the album on which the song appeared, and I remember loving that. I actually associate him with the Eurythmics / Annie Lennox as we viewed a film together (1992’s “Prelude to a Kiss”) which featured Annie Lennox’s take on Cole Porter’s “Every Time We Say Goodbye”, which I had seen her perform in the 1991 film “Edward II” and had desperately wanted but then found on the “Prelude to a Kiss” soundtrack – which I used in part to make a mixed tape of songs I loved at the time, which I then played for Rudy. I don’t know Rudy’s last name.
Yesterday we picked up Aaron’s sister Tristan & brother-in-law Chris from LaGuardia and hustled them over to The Hudson for some picturesque lunch – only the Hudson had a delayed opening that day and wouldn’t be business ready until 3, the time of our show, so we had to make other arrangements. I got an everything bagel and a short (in size), and oddly, poorly made drink from Starbucks and we headed down to the theater district. We were able to use Aaron’s Parking Magic, which is both powerful and legendary, to get a spot directly across from the theater. We walked a few spots over so the others could eat at IMASA NORI Sushi Izakaya, then headed back to Studio 54 to see The Rocky Horror Show at 3.
The show was delightful, entertaining and fun. I’m more than a little familiar with the film, having befriended several Rocky enthusiasts over the years (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), and I wasn’t sure how I’d react to the stage show, but it was an “absolute pleasure”. I was slightly bummed that Juliette Lewis was no longer in the cast as she was the main draw for me, but everyone was either good or great, with no disappointing performances IMO, which can pop in the most highly regarded productions, so that was appreciated. It was must have been difficult as the AC Crisis / AC-gate was in full effect, and the theater was so warm that when we first entered, I regretted not bringing my personal fan(s) in from the car.
As I said, all were good or great, but Luke Evans, who I’ve seen in several movie and TV roles, was astounding. I actually didn’t know he could sing. He took Frank and made it his own – and there were several inspired touches that really moved me, as the mostly comedic piece has always done, but in surprising new ways here. Everyone in our group enjoyed it, and from the sounds of the audience, we were in very good company. The woman sitting one empty chair over to my left was also from Michigan. which made 5 of us in a row. She’s one of those people that pops into the city now and again and sees multiple musicals – this was her 6th on this trip. I love talking to people who sit next to me at these shows as they’re usually up for such conversations and they’re very nearly always interesting – and sometimes really, really incredible. I’ll never forget the people sitting next to us as “The Inheritance”; to be at such a classically queer show, surrounded by gay elders was so impressive and memorable.
After the show we took visiting couple to their hotel where there was some odd drama about their room, which wasn’t ready despite it being hours after check-in, and when we got to the room, there was no AC, with a hastily and poorly assembled AC unit on the floor, attached to the top floor window (leaving the window open for all the 100 degree air to get in) and a puddle on the floor. They were able to switch rooms for a larger space with AC and a better view. But the staff was rude, which was a little shocking given how they’d fucked up – but I feel like there was a lot of drama going on there behind the scenes and they were all very unhappy.
We met Bernard at The Uptown Garrison (or just outside it). Bernard is easily one of my most favorite people. He’s one of Aaron’s best friends and we’ve now known each other for nearly 15 years. That’s crazy. Another Michigander, he didn’t live in the city when we moved here and didn’t arrive until 2 years later, in 2013. Still, we also get along, and he makes nearly everything easier. The only exception I can think of is my own thing – which is he idles during movies and if I have anything like that in my line of sight, I can’t concentrate on what I’m trying to watching, which ironically, 8 years ago today, happened in a theater when we took him to see “Solo: A Star Wars Story” at AMC Kip’s Bay (570 2nd Ave) – and though I asked him to stop several times, he just couldn’t. I missed a good chunk of the movie. I tried to tough it out because this was the last showing of the movie in New York, but it was actually a bit distressing and I left. Which then led to me fighting the throng of participants striving to get to river to see the fireworks, as I tried to find my way to a train that might get me home. It was unpleasant and stays with me despite the years that have passed.
The Uptown Garrison is generally one of my favorite restaurants and while our service as pleasant and the conversation / company exceptional, this was probably me least satisfying meal there. Aaron’s food was bad, which I didn’t realize until the end. My food was subpar, but not horrible. I did get a fun cocktail called “Planet of the Apricots” which felt appropriate as we’d spent the afternoon with musical aliens singing about several different planets. There was no, or almost no AC. They seemed to be running low on ice. Everyone was hot and sweaty. I’m sure everyone did their best and I’m not upset and we surely made the most of it.
After that, Aaron took us to get some FroYo, which I abstained from as my stomach needed time to recover. I’d not eaten all my serving at dinner, but I didn’t want to be moving as much as we were, and the heat was finally starting to get to me. We stopped into our apartment, which Bernard had not seen completed after the renovations and which Tristan and Chris had never seen. Everyone approved. Then we headed to the Inwood Billiards Cafe. I was worn out but intended to push through as it was the last event of the day and I was having a good time with everyone. Only the cafe was upstairs – with faulty AC; you could get some cool air if you sat in this or that spot, but it was fleeting and uncomfortable. And my stomach was very upset with me for moving around despite taking it relatively slow. When I walked up those stairs and got hit by that heat, I was done. I sat through a game, vomiting all through it (pretending I was fine) and when they started a second game I was done. I knew that Tristan wanted to leave and so I felt free to say I wanted to leave, seeing it as partially for her benefit; I didn’t want to spoil Aaron’s fun though (he loves pool), so I didn’t insist we all leave, I just walked half a block to the 1 train, and took it 2 stops home. It was raining out, a light cool rain, which helped. And I was home in maybe 15 minutes tops, but probably more like 10. I took a shower and before I’d made it to bed Aaron was also home.
I tried to start reading a new book (which was recommended by a friend who generally likes stuff that I do, but often likes them years before I do – and sometimes I don’t like what he likes at all, still, when he’s on, he’s on) but I maybe got through 3 pages (of what seems to be a very dark gay trashy romance by Anthony Auswat) before I put down my phone, rolled over and went right to sleep. I had crazy dreams. My step-father had a new girlfriend, who had a beard. And my friend Pat also had a new girlfriend, which made sense in the dream, despite me starting to question it with waking world logic – like where the fuck was his wife, who I knew was still married to him? I was offended on her behalf. And there were coworkers who’d died. One had brain cancer. There was also a secret passage in a wall which had to be crawled through. That’s all I remember now. I woke up at 5, so I slept about 6.5 hours. I tried to go back to sleep but when I was still awake at 6 I got up.
Given yesterday’s troubles, I’m thinking about skipping tonight’s planned events and just staying home – which would include a visit from everyone and several games of Mario Kart, so I’d see everyone and have some fun times. The memory of the theater 8 years ago with Bernard is supporting this idea, as he’s joining us for the gaming and has been on standby for tonight’s event since it was decided on. I feel like I need a break, and I don’t want to get on a boat, where I can’t just leave if I want to. That sounds potentially nightmarish – and I have so much work to get done on my website and things. I can relax, take my meds (some of which can’t be taken when you’re out and about all day) and have my healthy home food.
Today’s journal title song quote is from “Super Heroes”, the penultimate song from many productions of The Rocky Horror Show; this version from the film. I owned this on CD.
