BALD JASON'S GAY GOTH BOY BLOG
A Work in Progress…Welcome Back!
I instruct him
in destruction;
in my need for his seduction…
And he rises
to occasion;
nearly late from masturbation…
I run for trains with courage found,
Express train travel:
Brooklyn bound…
I feel ill from my confusion,
Sex drenched ultimate illusion,
Might cost more than just my soul:
Excess lust within control.
Written by Jason Wright
July 26, 17
Various sentences
rise through the mist,
Queries for Romeos
found in our midst,
Did they know when they met me
I didn’t exist?
Perhaps they have doubted
yet doubts were dismissed?
To be fair
my partner in crime
is pretend,
Oh he’s quite real to me
and of that I contend,
But they don’t see the truth
in the lies that we send,
Try not to smile…
Must not reveal guile…
We are only unreal
to our weak weekend friends.
Written by Jason Wright
July 26, 2017
Nothing to write but I feel like it’s coming.
Waves are still crashing. Heart is still humming.
Jumping through hoops to receive your bouquet…
The truth was delivered on Brian’s first day.
Brian was there in two-thousand winter.
First month of year pierced heart like a splinter
which remains there today; his birthday remembered:
January dream in July of December.
There was snow where he touched me.
Brian, scared that he loved me.
Brian stared. Brian cared as I woke with a fright.
And there in the shade of the dream where we made love
he carried and married me all through the night.
Seven-teen years and I still feel those kisses
though we never have visits; explicit or shamed.
And I never accepted he’d been resurrected
for in death I was blessed while in life only blamed.
Written by Jason Wright
July 26, 2017
A month ago broken
yet we still exist.
Those words that were spoken
by Aaron persist
In shaping our future;
his words were not wasteful.
His words were a cougar
that fed on the faithful.
His words were confession
to me as his priest.
His words were a question
to my ears bequeathed.
His words begged an answer;
I wept as I gave it.
Our love had a cancer
but we sought to save it.
He by admission
and I by permission…
We both fought to save us
from death by attrition…
The pain from his past
held our love in a casket…
For future transgression
he begged with a question
I responded when asked it:
“You need it? Then have it.”
The distance between us
once traveled would heal us,
And words that were spoken
could not now conceal us,
And so we embraced
what would now become real,
Free from the pain that
we both had to feel,
Free to make choices
denied before changes,
To use our own voices
describing new strangeness,
The action is called;
we respond to sensation…
The laws of attraction
beyond transformation.
Written by Jason Wright
July 25, 2017
After night of
angry exhausted questions…
Loaded with
doubt / jealousy / rejections…
Expressing the pain
and the pleasure we feel…
My bitch of a stomach
could not seal the deal.
Tears fall from eyes
I’ve rinsed and repeatedly
cleaned as I’ve organized
words that defeated
and tore me asunder
like peace disappeared
with the heat of the summer
and ice of my fears
with soul crushing weight
of tears from my lover:
We all know the heart is the loneliest hunter.
I’m so very tired
and I’ve hated this night…
But my symptoms are clear
and I know what is right.
I hurt him with thoughts
that he never guessed.
Jealous reminder
of that man undressed.
Devouring fear
that seldom ignores me,
As Aaron convinces…
As Aaron implores me
to live my own life
in spite of my sickness.
My life of death
undone by our quickness.
Tonight illness won
and I know deep regret.
Time to wake up
and I haven’t slept yet.
Written by Jason Wright
July 21, 2017
He’s married (down low)
and he wants in our building.
But all fairies know
that you can’t rape the willing.
We know what he wants
before he confesses.
In the dark of his heart:
Who wouldn’t have guessed this?
Wouldn’t see through
the glaze of delusion?
Who could confuse
his lies for confusion?
Who would include this
deceptive exclusion?
A fairy has lied
if he has denied
existence defined
by his need for transfusion.
Written by Jason Wright
July 20, 2017
Today,
during my prostate exam,
Doctor said he was sorry
as he inserted a single finger.
I told him it was fine.
I wanted to say (but didn’t)
that he could use more than one.
I didn’t say
that his finger felt amazing
but was only a shadow of what
I’d felt earlier on Sunday morning.
The exam was brief and painless,
but left me wet.
My doctor is a horrible tease.
The doc says everything’s great
and that there’s no blood;
no sign for worry;
no cause for alarm.
I nearly ask him to try again
but instead I give thanks
while marveling that I remain
both physically and spiritually
intact.
Written by Jason Wright
July 11, 2017
“Prostrated” was written in a mad rush of notes, this being the first completed piece. The others were later finished in October and this became the final entry in a trilogy that was released later.
Also (and this may be Too Much Information), what I remember about this exam (which I’ve had every 3 months for years) was that I was curious if there would be any problems, because 2 days before, I had experienced double anal penetration in a threesome, which was the first time I’d ever done that. I felt great, so I thought everything was fine, but it was nice to have it confirmed by my doctor! And now you know…
Your choice
Your voice: confessing your pain
Your eyes
Your size
Your blessing
Your brain
Your body
Your mind
All more than sufficient.
Tonight
was insightful
and not insignificant.
Written by Jason Wright
July 9, 2017
For Aaron
Last night
profound;
spellbound by the depth…
And we held you close
long after you left.
We speak of you still;
we are moved;
we are haunted.
Arrived
deep inside
and you left yourself wanted.
Survived
and enlivened
and we each felt that kiss.
We each had our moments
of momentous bliss.
We each have a ghost
of that pleasure beneath us.
We treasure each trust;
what each thrust tried to teach us.
Written by Jason Wright
July 9, 2017
A cry on the catwalk
of love and of blame.
A runway sashayed
with lies and with shame.
The scream for attention;
an advert ignored.
A cream filled with tastes
that I could not afford.
The signs for the sale
were shocking and sultry.
I did not expect them
to lead to adultery.
Fidelity fad? Old hat!
I’m pathetic.
The new look this season
has a harlot aesthetic.
Yet the outdated fashion
of black and of leather.
Was on the new model;
though I think it was pleather.
Written by Jason Wright
July 2, 2017