BALD JASON'S GAY GOTH BOY BLOG
A Work in Progress…Welcome Back!
A few years before
our friend lay down dead,
You said I was handsome…
or that’s what she’d said,
That’s all I remembered
and I could not fathom
why boy I remembered
would think I was handsome.
But when I looked back
she’d said quite a lot…
She spoke of my family
and what you had thought,
But I didn’t ask
for more at the time
so I’m left in the dark
of remarks about crimes.
Written by Jason Wright
August 7, 2026
When I was just 17
I fell for his pain.
He was different from me
and yet we were the same.
There between walls
and hospital beds…
There where we said
all the things left unsaid.
All but the truth
of the love that I felt.
But I know that he knew it;
he told me himself.
He signed it in ink
on a board for goodbyes
as we crossed the brink
to begin our own lives.
I thought he was gone;
though in dreams he was near.
“We must love our loved ones
while we have them here.”
And I swooned
as I grieved
and then one day I healed…
Before the wound
cleaved me in two
and revealed…
That he was alive;
it was I who had died.
And all that I’d felt
was because of a lie.
Written by Jason Wright
July 24, 2026
For Brian – on his 50th birthday.
Exhibited signs
describe a voyeur…
Prohibited lines
inscribe this auteur…
I am subliminal
inside my screams.
I am a criminal
inside my dreams.
The fire divides me…
Desire inside me
provokes the despairing
with no stroke or sound.
The fair sky has reddened…
Disguised Armageddon…
Smoke alarms blaring;
no smoke to be found.
I dream of eavesdropping.
My heart isn’t stopping.
As man that we watch speaks the same words as me.
Lies leave the feared thrall.
Eyes see as tears fall.
Time stops as stopwatch seeks the crosswords in me.
Written by Jason Wright
July 16, 2026
These were just a handful of musings about different things from my week. For instance, our smoke alarms (which are very loud) went off several times for no reason that we can fathom. But there was heavy smoke in the sky from forest fires in Canada, which made the sky look really creepy, which someone described to be as “Armageddon like”. I had dreams of listening in on conversations and sexual experiences. I also had something like nightmares after watching several YouTube videos about serial killers. Go figure! lol
I walked .02 miles to a local grocery store. I picked up a head of cauliflower, some mushrooms and the waffles that my dietician recommended. After I took that home the weather was so lovely that I changed and walked to the park. When I go to Fort Tryon Park, I love to sit in this area called the Linden Terrace, where I often call my grandmother as I take in the view of the Hudson River and New Jersey across the river. On my way to the park I had a resurgence of this pain that I sometimes get in my ankles / shins. I sat on a bench just outside the park and called my sister, Janice, who I spoke to for about 20 minutes, eventually walking into the park and continued to chat with her. There were so many squirrels in the park today, many of them approaching me in a way that I’ve never seen before; I assumed that many people feed them and this was confirmed by my friend Nathan later. Walking to Linden Terrace from our apartment is exactly a mile. I felt good and the pain had gone. I took a longer, more scenic route home, so I’m sure I walked about 3 miles today. And that’s me being out 13 days in a row.
I traded texts with Janice and Nathan. I had some nice moments with Celine and Aaron. And I just chilled for the rest of the afternoon.
Aaron is taking me to a Stonewall Chorale party tomorrow that will feature a talent show in which none of the performers can sing as their talent. I’m reading a poem, but I’m not sure which title I’ll pick. I’ve narrowed it down to a few, but I think it will depend on how the audience seems. Really, I’d share all of them if I could. Not because I think I’m an amazing writer, but because I have a very hard time deciding anything! lol
I’m staying up a bit later tonight to get some stuff ready for that and I haven’t really gotten ready for bed yet. If I get to bed by 1am I should be fine.
Today’s title quote is from “Rebirth of the Cool” by The Afghan Whigs from their 1992 album “Uptown Avondale”.
I should have gone to bed hours ago, but I needed a shower. And I do some of my best thinking in the shower. And I was thinking about all these interesting things and I thought I might like to write about them. So I did. And I put some artwork together and posted it here. And then I posted it on Facebook. And now I’m writing about doing those things, which is probably redundant.
Shawn Foreman sent me a friend request on Facebook. I didn’t approve it right away because I assumed it was a hack as we’ve been friends on Facebook for years, but when I looked, we were not friends anymore, so I’m assuming this is the real deal. We’ll see. I should let him know that Goth Boy is back.
I’m very tired and I don’t think I’ll need anything to sleep, but if I do, that’s fine. I did not go outside yesterday. I got ready. I shaved. But I didn’t need to go anywhere and my energy levels felt off, so I didn’t go out. The only reason that bothers me is that I’ve not been out since Monday and I don’t want to fall back into bad habits. I did however get a lot done on my website. And I also got to catch up with Aaron on the phone, which was nice.
Time for sleep.
Take care of you
and take care of yours…
Is this love we have
the answer to wars?
It’s the answer I wanted
and that much I know…
The truth is he left us
a long time ago.
But don’t start to grieve
and don’t shed a tear…
We all have to leave
when the train sounds are clear…
The sweet Twilight Train
which ghosted our nights…
Beneath twilight rain
falling far from The Heights…
A dream shared by siblings
who dream of the dead…
I don’t want damnation –
I just want some head.
Written by Jason Wright
February 27, 2026
This is January 8.
Again.
My fifty-first.
The day my sister read to me
in 1976.
The day I froze time in green
in 2009.
The day I was excited to see Carol Danvers
in 2019.
The day I took the trains to therapy
in 2020, shortly before the world fell apart.
I still wore a mask 4 years later
on January 8 at my PCP.
Last year I had a beard
until I didn’t.
Today, January 8,
I shaved again,
showered (twice),
cleaned for hours,
exercised (finally),
paid rent and the credit card,
did dishes and laundry.
It’s nice being able to eat. ❤
Written by Jason Wright
January 8, 2026
They connect off the screen /
damage me.
They erect in between
me and screams.
I’m bereft and denied;
I’ve been left / they imply
and the world is not quite
what it seemed.
I’m destroyed and in vain /
they collide.
Can’t avoid this /
the pain deep inside.
I”m broken and alone;
I’m the only one at home
and there’s not a waking soul
to hear my cry.
Can’t avert this touch;
what it was…
Shouldn’t hurt me this much
but still does…
If I were whole
or I were strong
but I’m not and don’t belong
and maybe this is all I ever was.
Written by Jason Wright
January 25, 20205
The night we met was perfect
and y(our) first kiss haunts me now.
We might have been imperfect…
(Ian Curtis taunts our vow)
Torn apart by love
and doubt
by time
and timely yearning…
Torn apart by love
about
this time
of no returning…
You blessed me on the spot
and then you left me feeling cursed.
I guess we kissed a lot of men
but I was still your first.
I know I’m not the last to love you;
know I’ve not the right…
But close my eyes
and I’m above you…
Comfort me tonight.
Written by Jason Wright
February 22, 2022
For Sean Mobley / Theo Wolfe
The lizard was magic.
The lizard was strange.
The lizard was tragic.
The lizard was change.
The lizard was impulse;
a blizzard recalled.
The lizard was symbol;
not lizard at all.
He came through my dreams;
flirtatious and fervent.
He shamed the shy screams:
fallacious serpent.
He slithered and withered
with a look from his eyes…
What wizard delivered;
the lizard was wise.
He curled up inside me
bereft from the world.
He swirled up astride me
and left me unfurled.
He left me haunting
the land he’d departed.
He left me wanting
the man he’d discarded.
The man I could be
if only I could…
The man I would see
if only I should…
The man who woke up
as in my ear he whispered…
A plan to soak up
the tears of the lizard.
Written by Jason Wright
May 14, 2020