Tag: Inspired by Aaron Sanko

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UNBECOMING:

I don’t know who I am anymore.
I don’t know who I am anymore.
I don’t know who I am anymore.
Perhaps I never knew.

I know I’m alive when we are together
but when I’m alone that’s not true.

I’m struggling and flailing
just learning to breathe
searching for clues and for answers.

The truth is I’ve died now
(so many times now)
Perhaps all that’s left are the ashes.

I’m strong and I’m brave
(at least that’s what friends say)
I exist so perhaps they are right.

But the pain that I feel
as I struggle to heal
overwhelms me until I must write.

The nightmares are cursed
but the visions are worse
because comforting lies can still soothe me.

And I fear I won’t ask..
How long can dreams last?
One day my dreams might consume me.

But I don’t want to leave
so I struggle to breathe
and I reach out to family and friends.

I try to learn skills
but the timing still kills
and I know that everything ends.

Written by Jason Wright
July 19, 2013

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FALLING TO PIECES

I was pushed from a height
and I plummeted downward…

I shattered to pieces
yet I travelled onward,

And the night that I met you
was desperate and magic…

A ghost of myself;
my death had been tragic…

I walked through the cold;
could not have been bolder…

And one of my murderers
cried on my shoulder.

But you crossed my path
though we’d met before…

In a time I can’t fathom
or begin to explore…

For that October night
eclipsed all the others…

And you took me home
though we weren’t even lovers.

You sparked something there
that I could not perceive,

Igniting a flame
that I could not believe,

A fire that warmed
what had threatened to freeze me,

Desire that formed
over time as you freed me.

We were friends
with a sparkle
of laughter and lust…

We grew to be more
as we developed our trust…

And friends became lovers
and partners and family…

You’re in my blood;
in my breath;
you’re inside me.

You’re part of me now
and I don’t want to lose you…

I don’t want to doubt,
disrespect or abuse you…

I don’t want to hurt you
or take you for granted…

I’m conscious of this
and I need to be candid…

I’ve loved you for years now
and yet I’m still falling…

Still falling in love with
no signs of stalling…

Will we crash at the bottom
or land on our feet?

All I know is that
falling with you I’m complete.

Written by Jason Wright
April 13, 2013

For: Aaron Sanko

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Love Lessons

I hurt someone once
by being unfaithful…

The memory hurts me
but makes me quite grateful…

That I learned this lesson
and will not repeat it…

Even when others
might leave me quite heated.

For I can’t control
my passions / attractions…

But I can be faithful
within my own actions…

I may flirt and smile
with consent of my lover…

And I may imagine
that he’s with another…

And I may write poems
both sacred and naughty…

But only my partner
shares my bed and body.

I love that by this
our love is not lessened,

I love that he trusts me
and doesn’t feel threatened,

I love that he loves me
and I love him too,

I love that the words
that I’ve written are true.

Because someone once hurt me
by being unfaithful…

He was jealous and angry
and often distasteful…

I gave him my all
while he told mostly lies…

Even after the point
when we’d said our goodbyes.

So this new love is cherished
and acknowledged for rareness…

This love permeates
my every awareness…

I’m grateful that my love
with Aaron still thrives…

And maybe this love will last
all our lives.

Written by Jason Wright
Sunday, March 10, 2013

For Aaron, Mark & Michael

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Life and Survival

In two-thousand-nine
my life was sublime…

Feeling finally whole
after such a long time…

But it wasn’t to last
and it wasn’t to stay…

I learned to survive
and forgot how to play.

Survival is fine
when that’s all you’ve got…

In two-thousand-ten
that mattered a lot…

But just hanging on
isn’t really like living…

Just understanding
is not like forgiving.

In twenty-eleven
my world fell apart…

I lost all that mattered
to me and my heart…

Yet still I survived
as a ghost of myself…

Until love brought me back:
I became someone else.

And that someone else
left in twenty-and-twelve…

And I left life behind
that I could save myself…

But there’s life and survival
and I’m caught in-between…

Perhaps I’ll choose life
in twenty-thirteen.

Written by Jason Wright
Tuesday, March 5, 2013

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Life and Survival

In two-thousand-nine
my life was sublime…

Feeling finally whole
after such a long time…

But it wasn’t to last
and it wasn’t to stay…

I learned to survive
and forgot how to play.

Survival is fine
when that’s all you’ve got…

In two-thousand-ten
that mattered a lot…

But just hanging on
isn’t really like living…

Just understanding
is not like forgiving.

In twenty-eleven
my world fell apart…

I lost all that mattered
to me and my heart…

Yet still I survived
as a ghost of myself…

Until love brought me back:
I became someone else.

And that someone else
left in twenty-and-twelve…

And I left life behind
that I could save myself…

But there’s life and survival
and I’m caught in-between…

Perhaps I’ll choose life
in twenty-thirteen.

Written by Jason Wright
Tuesday, March 5, 2013

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Would Be Assassins

I’m mostly a bottom
yet in dreams often top.

And walking behind him
I imagined a lot.

I dreamed him impaled
on my bliss and more.

He begged for it
weeping
and struck the right chord.

I thought it quite shameless;
this dream of seduction.

I confessed it
complete;
no thoughts of destruction.

And then I was told
what I couldn’t have known…

Before I was loved
betrayal was shown…

And my lust turned to sadness
and quickly unraveled…

That anyone hurt him
or made him feel fragile…

Though they couldn’t break him
they basically tried…

They wounded the heart
where my love now resides…

And they may now be friends
and they may have forgiven…

But it kills me to think
that he may have been victim.

Written by Jason Wright
October 15, 2012

For the three people who inspired it,
who aren’t named here as to preclude another cycle of pain.

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Religious Irony

A one night stand
of the ultimate kind…

I only just had one
inside of my mind…

The sex was so real
I even took pictures…

But the faggot was Jesus
and he read me his scriptures.

If the pictures got out
then they’d all crucify him…

They’d fire his ass
and would not deify him…

And I’d show them to you
but I know that he’s right…

Sex is fantastic
but his boss makes it trite…

His people would hurt him
and no one could save him…

No one would dare
to believe in or praise him…

And I don’t want that;
that’s not why I captured us…

He was just so damned hot
and his beauty enraptured us…

And I wanted to share
that beauty with everyone…

Wanted to brag how
he was so handsome…

I felt so inspired
and this is not sarcasm…

I wanted to share my joy
and orgasm…

But the pictures were burned
and the copies deleted…

My intentions were true
yet by truth were defeated…

But the truth is he fucked me
then his friends fucked me too…

The first time: I loved it
but that group shit was screwed…

Because I’m just as innocent
as any of them…

Hypocrites! All of them…

Peace out…

Amen.

Written by Jason Wright
October 5, 2012

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Smoking. In Kitchen.

“Smoking in kitchen”
is what you had said.

Not what you meant;
least not in my head.

So I’m pressed
against glass
in kitchen
in view…

Stroking,
Caressing
and thinking of you.

You smile at my lust
in the pictures revealed.

My body and thrust
with nothing concealed.

You say that with muscles
I’d be quite unstoppable.

But I have no interest
in being un-top-able.

Written by Jason Wright
October 4, 2012

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FOUR DAYS ENCHANTED

Compassion is given;
mistaken for lies…

A powerful weapon,
a question…but why?

Why play such games?
Why smile and sing?

Experience teaches
to not trust such things.

Yet I love the way that he sings a smile
and the way that his intellect reconciles…
Logic,
Success,
And things never guessed…
Except in his eyes
filled with things unexpressed.

He can sing,
He can act,
And in short, do it all…

Yet he doesn’t attack
or make you feel small…

His voice is a gift
you’re lucky to receive…

And the passion he carries
makes you grieve & believe…

Yet the power held there
is most naked and strong…

When he whispers against you
while held in your arms:

In that muted darkness
when he speaks to just you…

It’s then that you see that
his power is true.

It’s not just a game
though it isn’t a promise…

Things don’t always last
when whispered in darkness…

Yet I want to know more
and that’s really quite rare…

And I guess I just want him
to know that I care.

Written By Jason Wright
October 25, 2011

For Aaron Sanko

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