Musings on Avatars of Womanhood

Part I: The Inner Eyelid of Annunciation

Womanly warrior whispers
of parental dissonance;
the void left vacant
by heartless disparaging demoness
who indoctrinated decorum,
even when disturbingly disoriented;
ultimately dying of dissatisfaction.

Illustrious alliteration
illustrates illusive illegitimate elucidation,
when remembering memorable memories
of transformative teenage tomboy temptations
which typify, titillate, terrify and tenaciously tickle
the terrifically transitory transillumination territory
of a tear-transporting-trauma,
tremulous with trepidation.

Fecund fundamentalist female,
fearing frustration,
fetishistically fostered forced feminization,
frequently forgetting ferocious fastidiousness
in favor of fashion forward formularies
of fatalistic forgoing…
Fuck that! Fuck this!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Part II: Someone to Wraith Over Me

The premature dusting
of witch woman’s skeletal desiccation
is an abomination
to bitch queen shepherdess goddess
who bequeathed this nightmare distortion
unto the world beneath
the tattered folds of
her shattered girlhood obsessions.

She, then a shade of innocence untouched
by the ravages expressed by others and
experienced by each of her antecedents,
draws charcoal sketches of haunted childhood homes
containing all the monsters one expects
with none of the cynicism, skepticism or irony of age.

Interlude: Forgiveness For Unformed Thoughts and Persons

Know this mister,
Poet-Sister,
Gothic-Mother,
Hooker-Lover,

All of this from prism gleaned;
loneliness and wisdom weaned…
on oldest old wood holly charm
which seeks to heal but does her harm.

Part III: The Fate of Foolishness

She is murdered by her own emotions,
ripped apart by the loathsome gentlemen pretenders
who often inspired her frenzied zeal
and seduced her to her supplicant
disconnected desolation.

She cries out for seamstresses
to sow her back to perfect completion,
yet there’s nothing wrong
with this patchwork creation.

I yearn to pass her poetry well received
by older incarnations in abject exaltation
of artistically symbolic expressionism,
but the politically mislead
withered maiden hand of the despicable crone
rejects my assertions despite the burden of proof
on display before milky white cataract eyes,
long ago blinded by gossamer hatred
and ephemeral morality.

She is now but a husk,
a hollow hardened cancerous shell,
containing pustule ichor
of the most diabolical
mind altering ignorance
which threatens to destroy us all.

Written by Jason Wright
November 8, 2018

The Poetry Table

It’s good to be back
out amongst poets;
amongst these crazy charming
bewilderingly astute
music makers.

Jack-in-the-box,
Jack being less nimble,
Jack jacking off with Viagra,
Jack, the former taxi driver extraordinair
paints us pictures
with his lyrical expressions;
that he also colors canvasses
with actual pigmentation
does not so much surprise me
as it seems to cement his
quirky talent in a far more serene sensation.

The new girl from Astoria
who says that she is old
and that she likes the writing of Robert Smith,
stuns with her humble beauty;
fumbling in the darkness
which prevents her from witnessing
the complexity and artistry of her own
Scrutiny.

Alan IS THE BRONX
or so he tells me…
and if his words are true
than the jittery neighborhood prince
among mere mortals
has hidden all of his treasure,
wrapped in twilight raiments
of endlessly interesting pentameters,
to entertain us all in our Manhattan
SoHo despair.

And Evie (is that short for Evelyn)
wanders in spilling poetry like pennies
for the distressed and the weary
as I side eye temptation to bolt
from the lazy stare
of sympatico hooligans of obscene desire.

One last nameless stranger
and the cycle is complete,
absent other friends
but filled to the brim
with amusement, power and nerve.

Written by Jason Wright
November 8, 2018

On the Way to Coffee

Hey! I’ve got a LOUD one!

Just the NYC MTA saying F U;
we won’t make this easy
even with American Psycho 80’s cover
lilting where Fearful Tears
once sang you to fever dream kisses.

Quieted by new crowd infusion;
wait for it…
There they are!
“Fuck you!” 3 times in succession.

But well on the way to coffee date
I must silence my own inner voices
and dry the fuck off,
with memory rain outside
like autumn watercolors
smeared in shadows behind my eyes.

Written by Jason Wright
November 5, 2018

“Love is a Demon”

Their eyes sought me out
cross the waiting room floor…
Their gaze drifted down
to the demon adored…
Their feet and their legs
brought them quick as you please…
and I barely kept up
from off of my knees.

Hot Doctor Craig
and Doctor Antell
approach me
and coach me
on living so well…

They compliment
garment
and offer me sex
behind my closed eyes
as they search for who’s next.

The shirt that I wore from Party That Wasn’t /
Middle-Earth shirt worn by someone who doesn’t
exist or persist in interest of others…
I barely seek to or speak to my brothers
who once stripped for me
in convent abandoned…
this clothing’s been holding me;
constant companion.

It’s Nina who sings to me
blissed through my tears…
who aids and then fades to me
kissed through my fears…
as music comes up and
and asks with a twirl:

A demon to some…
could I be your girl?

Written by Jason Wright
October 9, 2018

For Antell & Arden, Simone & Barker,
& the lovers that we never were.

Universal Victims

Last night’s
39 year old child slut
thickened my cock
with stories about seducing stepfather
to save sacrificial sisters before
sex party bareback orgies.

He tells me there’s no need for condoms
if I’m on PrEP…
he smiles at this
through piss stained teeth
as if I don’t remember that he’s poz
and has suffered countless infections,
although herpes, he has also confessed,
still terrifies him.

He’s not without his charm,
this not altogether foreign creation;
he stands as myth; a tall tale
of erotic urban legends.

But it’s his step-story which really makes me
question our reality.

Could this stranger be an alternate version of myself
from monster rat infested Surinam?

This is both too fantastical to be true,
and too close to the truth to not be questioned.

But our shared tragedy
is not truly identical.

Siblings of a kind,
our similar origin stories
are sadly, merely universal,
and not the horrific singular experience
of one fragmented individual.

The places we started are synonymous
and we have both arrived in the same location;
it is only our trajectories
which have truly separated us.

Written by Jason Wright
October 9, 2018

Writing Across the Transparent Sky

Shakey frostbite artist scrawl
in painful seizure Chevrolet
Fuck! My chest scraped open
in bloodless abandon!

I wonder if Sean has received
my owl? And if not, will it
reach him in time? And will he care?
Or will he once again reject me?

I’ll be close to an hour early
when this earthquake on wheels
jitters to a stop as I cling
to psalms once pressed together
for Laurie’s benefit.

Words written slowly
as we inch by Carnegie Hall.

I don’t feel like writing anymore.

A spare thought that becomes truth,
that becomes despair.

But I don’t really completely finish until
I reach my destination (who does, really?)
even when scratched beneath a different shade of ink.

Written by Jason Wright
October 9, 2018

For Sean Mobley,
my lost inspiration and seemingly perpetual muse.

And for Laurie Finney ,who was kind enough
to sing my praises when I attempted to DJ for
her circle of friends. Were it always so blissful!

Try Again

In 9 days it will be 17 years
from the night we first met.

And though you discarded me
in a mostly cruel and senseless fashion
I still write & think of you often.

Some of the words I write are angry,
hurt, longing or strange…

And though I’m PROUD
that I refused to chase someone
who chose to run away
from me and our truth
I miss YOU
more than any other pain
that you have caused me.

Written by Jason Wright
October 9, 2018

For Mobley Mouse, for Theodore
and all the other names I’ve come to call you.

The Words

Whispering in my ears
in a memory I never had,
because I never heard you
but you sounded sad…
and the words that you spoke
were like singing beneath
the sound of your breath
and our rhythmic heartbeats,
and the song found me dreaming
of a man that I follow…
lost in the depths unbelieving
and hollow.

The day that you caught me
without saying much,
The way that you haunted me
there with a touch
that I couldn’t feel
save the dream of your sorrow…
that came to be real
come the gleam of tomorrow.

But you stayed with me singing
and circled around…
You gave me the bringing
and brought me your crown…
You lingered behind me
when others had left…
You whispered and signed me;
you loved me to death.

But that’s not the end
of our ghostly tale…
For you proved a friend
and mostly prevailed
when I circled round you
and found you still smiling…
I knew you were there
with your stare so beguiling.

The look and the dance
and the music: Slowdive.

The words are romance:
“only lovers alive”.

Written by Jason Wright
October 6, 2018

Not My Doormat

Off to Carol’s
in the haunted overcast imagery,
less shrouded by last night’s events –
unexpected, satisfying & yet
slightly disappointing.

Last night’s well planned RASH decisions,
with liquor, amyl nitrite and a lover’s hookup who’s
“too pure to be pink”…

Too kind.

Too sweet
to feed the craving dark.

Happy for them.
Completely unthreatened.
But afraid I may never find
what I seek.

Written by Jason Wright
October 2, 2018

Standing in the Small Room

He describes me
in terms he believes to be true.

Small.
Fast in my shorts.
Smaller than.

only I’m not…
and I never was,
not when it counted.

Only in dreams which recapture
my childhood.

Because it always comes back to childhood,
doesn’t it?

I’m still standing
in that stinging spray.

I never left that room,
and I don’t think I ever will.

That at least,
is one small victory.

Written by Jason Wright
October 2, 2018

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