BALD JASON'S GAY GOTH BOY BLOG
A Work in Progress…Welcome Back!
After all of night’s magic
has faded away,
dwindling down to nothing
but the glisten of dew
beneath the cool dawning sun,
that cruel spray of light
will rip lovers apart.
For when lovers
cease to be enraptured,
fumbling toward clothing
endowed with doubt,
laced with fear,
rejection and shame…
all the night’s magic
fades like a dream
and haunts us
for the rest of our days…
Even those who we cannot remember.
Written by Jason Wright
February 23, 2019
Everyone is naked.
Everyone is nude.
Under cover.
Under clothing.
Under censorship’s
well-meaning-ever-
watchful eye…
Big Brother insists.
And so
everyone stares.
We all are complicit.
If only we shared
what’s mislabeled illicit.
We all need to care
and we must not dismiss it…
We enter this world
and are labeled explicit.
Written by Jason Wright
January 24, 2019
I try to conspire
to knock your socks off,
I lie to liars
to get our rocks off,
They think I’m not strong
but I’m really a freak,
I prey on the wrong
who savage the weak,
I ravage the monsters
within my deception,
They feed my hunger
for pain and erections.
Written by Jason Wright
January 23, 2019
Walking into the cold city darkness
in my not-unpleasant,
whiskey warm stumble
toward Claritin-D
and embryonic friendship
with stunning young man
who unknowingly rips me in half
with answers I don’t have
concerning my partner’s state of mind.
The truth is
there’s been almost no time
to enquire
in new scheduled madness…
but the truth has
never felt more like a lame excuse.
On the way back to gay sports bar,
after kindness in complimentary
never-ending hallway
with the book that apparently nobody wants or needs,
we again stumble into unknown territory
on another subject I feel I should better grasp
as it borders on both
experience and uncensored friendships
which have somehow (again)
left me lacking coherence or apparent depth
upon current recollection…
Yet I must question if these memories
are accurate or merely rambled here
for dramatic effect,
for an audience who demands that I write
but refuses to listen.
The real truth,
the more appropriately honest
fortune cookie wisdom
crunches open
beneath Poetry Table instructions
for impromptu musings…
When all I’m thinking about
are new people
weaving in and out of my experience
which dangle here in disarray
to be encompassed later
in organized impressions.
Written by Jason Wright
January 17, 2019
In my dream
we were traveling in a car
though I can’t remember which
one of us was driving.
I was telling you that this rift
between us
was meaningless;
that the times we spent
in bed together
were unimportant now;
it was lovely and fun
but that’s all it was for me;
we needn’t be so distant
to prevent us from falling
into old patterns.
You told me that I was wrong and that
ALL of those times ((((MATTERED)))).
In a near whisper: “They mattered a lot.”
It didn’t hurt you that I was unaware,
but you were explaining that your wife
knew how much it mattered to you…
and this is why we seldom cross paths;
this is how the rift began.
And though the past did not hurt me,
it was clear that the past had slowly
poisoned our present.
And our seemingly casual lovemaking
had casualties that I had not been aware of.
Written by Jason Wright
December 15, 2018
For Patrick
The man dressed in androgynous white
looked like he couldn’t possibly be there,
but he was.
David Lynch Twin Peaks Mutherfucker…
The kind of thing
that Mollie sees
and my father describes
when he’s not on his meds.
No one else seemed to notice.
Perhaps he was a ghost
like that eerie bride and groom
wedding march through muddy springtime
cornfield of my youth.
Written By Jason Wright
December 13, 2018
I have the sickness.
I have to express.
I have the thickness.
I have to confess.
I have the wetness.
I have the shame.
I have been sexless.
I have been stained.
I have been tested.
I’ve been observed.
I’ve been suggested.
I have been heard.
I have been labeled
as purely obscene.
I am disabled
by being unseen.
Written by Jason Wright
November 21, 2018
Hey! I’ve got a LOUD one!
Just the NYC MTA saying F U;
we won’t make this easy
even with American Psycho 80’s cover
lilting where Fearful Tears
once sang you to fever dream kisses.
Quieted by new crowd infusion;
wait for it…
There they are!
“Fuck you!” 3 times in succession.
But well on the way to coffee date
I must silence my own inner voices
and dry the fuck off,
with memory rain outside
like autumn watercolors
smeared in shadows behind my eyes.
Written by Jason Wright
November 5, 2018
Last night’s
39 year old child slut
thickened my cock
with stories about seducing stepfather
to save sacrificial sisters before
sex party bareback orgies.
He tells me there’s no need for condoms
if I’m on PrEP…
he smiles at this
through piss stained teeth
as if I don’t remember that he’s poz
and has suffered countless infections,
although herpes, he has also confessed,
still terrifies him.
He’s not without his charm,
this not altogether foreign creation;
he stands as myth; a tall tale
of erotic urban legends.
But it’s his step-story which really makes me
question our reality.
Could this stranger be an alternate version of myself
from monster rat infested Surinam?
This is both too fantastical to be true,
and too close to the truth to not be questioned.
But our shared tragedy
is not truly identical.
Siblings of a kind,
our similar origin stories
are sadly, merely universal,
and not the horrific singular experience
of one fragmented individual.
The places we started are synonymous
and we have both arrived in the same location;
it is only our trajectories
which have truly separated us.
Written by Jason Wright
October 9, 2018
Off to Carol’s
in the haunted overcast imagery,
less shrouded by last night’s events –
unexpected, satisfying & yet
slightly disappointing.
Last night’s well planned RASH decisions,
with liquor, amyl nitrite and a lover’s hookup who’s
“too pure to be pink”…
Too kind.
Too sweet
to feed the craving dark.
Happy for them.
Completely unthreatened.
But afraid I may never find
what I seek.
Written by Jason Wright
October 2, 2018