Watching the news I am chilled and I’m sickened by thrall of the crisis which made its debut…
These shocking truths have filled me and quickened the call of the righteous – beleaguered and true.
Our government lacks a soul or compassion – our President lies as civil rights crumble… standing in judgment of control collapsed factions as reticent cries from the heights start to stumble.
The choices of monsters enshrined by the truthless – the respected & modest are damned by their dictums… the voices of sponsors designed to be ruthless – the elected dishonest demand us as victims…
for we pay the price –
what they say is official… when they spy and deploy bad guys to deride us… when they take civil rights they make us uncivil… then they lie to destroy and try to divide us with erroneous tools who say they are decent prejudice(d) preachers who practice a skit… felonious fools who are simply malfeasant excrement seekers who attack us with shit.
Advancement aligned with cheats for their cause… incels incited for fear they’re invisible klansmen who hide behind sheets and the cross: indicted dickheads – so (fucking) predictable.
It is September 4, 2021 and I’ve decided that I’m taking a break today.
I’m at Riverview Campground and I’m missing my mom.
This is the hardest hitting day because the memories are Little Jason’s; our mother wasn’t perfect… but she had graceful, beautiful, quiet, unrecorded moments, which are all I am remembering today… 1 day after what would have been their 39th anniversary.
At times, our mother seemed psychic.
She begged me not to take Jamie to the theater to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show; she told me that something terrible was happening and though Jamie never forgave me, I knew that our mother believed what she was saying and I broke my promise and left Jamie at home…
Later, Paul (who I had seen Rocky with the previous year) called to say that he had been raped across the street from Oz. She knew. Somehow she knew.
And she knew about Katie. And she knew about other things…
Back in my memories and my mother is looking out across the low green field, storm rolling in toward our backyard –
I’m a small boy child, clinging to her mysterious silence, her wary hypnotized gaze is exhilarating in its graceful stillness…
The emerald sky sparks and forms tear drops over Janet Lynn forest years before that tragic coupling will leave me forever scarred and always haunted; a dark harbinger of things to come.
Could she see all of that then? I’ve never imagined that she could… but who is to say what stirred within her?
You were my lover until the night that you weren’t.
You called me Janet… in the green shaded sunlight streams (like a stained glass painting) where we ran naked beneath that haunted woodland canopy.
I, daring to travel to forbidden places which our fathers forbade… to pluck the rose whose thorns did prick, beading blood from innocent skin.
On that final night you called me Lynn… (my misspelled middle name) when I appeared naked before you on the edge of twilight forest storm clouds; there, where I was deflowered by a fairy queen’s decree.
It was there, in the shadow of such bewildering and bruising beauty that you abandoned me, never to return.
As I had been counseled, I held tight to myself when you would have let me go…
And being unsaved, I saved myself, even as you faltered and fled.
True, I haunted that place on the following, on the morrow, as I brushed past tree limbs still wet with last night’s cleansing rain.
I walked to the spot where we’d smoked; the remains of last night’s victims, the evidence which proved that last night’s disaster had indeed taken place… a world shattering event which we have never discussed.
That woodland fairyland is a cursed place which returns to haunt my dreams.
That night I had been transformed into many creatures, into many forms, burned away to nothing and reborn from the ashes.
Janet and Lynn united in a pairing you could not possibly conceive of.
And thus combined, and bereft of your touch, I stumbled into the morning to learn what we’d become.
