Washington Heights – BALD JASON'S GAY GOTH BOY BLOG

October 1, 2026October 11, 2026

“All the Poetry and the Trunk You Kept Your Life In”

I did cuddle with Aaron yesterday morning. Then we showered together. I stayed in. I had been excited to return to Zumba Class this week, but I had a migraine so I didn’t go. I slept pretty well that night though.

This morning I woke up around 5, inspired to work on my website, solving several problems with my Marvel viewing order. I worked on it for hours but I got a lot done. I returned to Aaron around 7 or 7:30 to shower, then went back to working on my site. I took a brief nap at one point. But I was at my computer most of the day. At around 4:30 pm I felt I needed to get outside. I shaved and showered, dressed and did my 2 mile walk to Fort Tryon and back. I passed a film crew at one point but didn’t stop to see what they were working on. I also walked by Nathan, a guy that Aaron and I hooked up with several months ago. We waved, but we didn’t stop. He was walking with someone who I think is his roommate. Part of me thought: I’ve become one of those gays that slightly acknowledges people I’ve been intimate with as we encounter each other, without saying hello. But I was walking, and he didn’t call out or anything, and I don’t know what was going on. I wasn’t bothered, but it was an odd moment.

I was wearing a Concrete Blonde shirt, from the “Bloodletting” album, which I love. I listened to it as I walked. I got a spinach wrap at Starbucks on my way home and also stopped to get some more pita bread from the grocery store. The wrap was delicious. I showered the sweat from the walk off, started listening to “Mexican Moon” (also by Concrete Blonde) and decided to write this.

As I started this, Aaron arrived back home, after having moved the car to a new parking garage that will save us $300 a month. That’s nice. I showed him the new (final) VisionQuest trailer, which he liked – and I loved. I can’t wait to see it!

I’m starting to wind down. I might play some Zelda before bed.

Today’s journal entry song quote is from “Caroline”, a song by American alternative rock band Concrete Blonde from their third studio album, “Bloodletting”, which was released on May 15, 1990. The album features guest appearances by R.E.M.’s Peter Buck and Wall of Voodoo’s Andy Prieboy. “Caroline” was released in September 1990 as the third single and was written by Johnette Napolitano, and produced by Concrete Blonde and Chris Tsangarides. Mike Boehm, writing for the Los Angeles Times, described “Caroline” as “a mysterious, gorgeously evocative song that recalls Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Rhiannon’.” In a review of Bloodletting’, Marc D. Allan of The Indianapolis Star wrote, “‘Caroline’ is a good example of the band’s strengths. Napolitano’s lush vocals, combined with Mankey’s eerie guitar, create a subtle but powerful piece of pop.” In a retrospective review, Ned Raggett of AllMusic described the song’s lyrics as “addressing a departed friend”. I don’t recall the song from the time, but when I bought the album several years later it quickly became my favorite track, though I love all of the songs and seldom ever just listen to a single song from it, rather I listen to the whole thing.

August 29, 2026

“Oh, the Season’s Come…”

So on Friday (August 28), as they started sealing up the wall and sealing (supposedly) the tub, I did go get some Little Caesars. I should have checked the pizza when I was there, but didn’t. And the photo with the pepperoni pizza background proved prophetic. I just wanted cheese but they gave me pepperoni. I like the flavor but my stomach does not like the pepperoni and it comes back up. But I was home and exhausted. They said I could come back for another one, my way, for free, but I didn’t make it back. I had two slices of this pizza, gave one to the guy sealing up the wall, and gave the rest to my aide. It was good pizza. It just wasn’t how I needed it to be and I was sick for a bit because of it. But I didn’t panic and I didn’t stress and I didn’t freak out. That’s what matters, I think.

I got some work done. And I got some sleep. Today (08-29-26) I packed all day. And tried to prepare for the trip. There were several setbacks so Aaron won’t be arriving in Michigan tomorrow and I won’t have a car or the items I needed – only his mom is gonna stop by my grandma’s to give me her car. I can get what I need from a grocery store. And the hotel has agreed to let me check-in without Aaron. So we’re good for tomorrow. Before we got that settled, I went for a much needed walk through my neighborhood, where I took the above photo. I’ve always loved that view. I love New York. And it makes me a little sad that I’ll be away as I’ve been really happy here the last few weeks and much of this year. But I’m excited to see my family and friends in Michigan too.

I need to go to sleep now though because I’m very tired. I might read a little first. I started re-reading “Magic’s Pawn” by Mercedes Lackey, plus assorted tie-in stories earlier this week, to get me ready for her new book coming out in December, which is connected to this era of her fictional world, Velgarth.

Time for Bed.

Today’s journal entry title song quote is from “Opium” by American alternative rock band, Marcy Playground, from their 1997 self-titled debut studio album.

August 24, 2026August 24, 2026

“If I Could Sleep Forever I Could Forget About Everything”

When I weighed myself this morning I had lost more weight again: I’m not 185.8 lbs. It’s strange. For a couple of weeks I hovered around 190 lbs, but now it’s going better. I’m not sure why I stayed in that range for longer – I don’t think my diet or activity levels has been changed much. It’s a mystery to me.

I did have the rest of those broccoli tots yesterday. They were yummy. I went to bed around 9:30pm and I’m getting ready to go to bed soon now.

Today I had a doctor’s appointment where I got some news that I didn’t want to hear. It’s not bad news exactly. Indeed, I’m sure some people would have celebrated the feedback, but I found it frustrating. I wanted to just take some medication and be okay. But this could portend a larger life problem, which I’m going to have to grapple with. I’m still following my doctor’s advice and I’m so grateful that I live in a place where I have access to medical care – and I hop that doesn’t go away.

I took the train to the clinic because I was running late – which was perfect, in that I arrived exactly on time. But I walked home, getting some exercise, stopping at Starbucks for my tea, and the grocery store for some more pita bread. I drank the former as I walked and that ate some of latter when I got home, with lettuce, hummus and some light Italian salad dressing, which was lovely.

I finished Season 2 of X-Men ’97. I haven’t felt like watching movies or TV lately, so it took me a few days. I enjoyed it but I found the ending a little anticlimactic. I’m sure I would have enjoyed it more if I’d binged the whole season.

I also connected more LGBTQ+ movie reviews to my index here, so they’ll be easier to access in future. The website continues to evolve and grow and that’s nice.

And I just uploaded a poem that I wrote 4 days ago.

I’m so tired. I’m sure I’ll pass out relatively soon.

Today’s journal entry song quote is from “Sleep” by American rock band The Dandy Warhols, from their third album, “Thirteen Tales from Urban Bohemia”, released on June 12, 2000, through record label Capitol.

May 18, 2026

“God’s Got a Sick Sense of Humor”

I slept more than 9 hours Saturday night and then cuddled with Aron for about an hour. I managed to get outside again (15 days in a row) and walked to Fort Tryon Park again but the shin / ankle pain was back. I thought I’d sit on the bench outside the park when I got there, relax for a bit and then keep going, which is what I did on Friday, but I found that my phone wasn’t working, which caused some amount of panic and I decided I’d head home instead of going into the park itself. Part of that was pain I was feeling. Part of it was the stress of the phone not working. But another part was that the heat, in the upper 80s, had started to feel oppressive. I made home okay and Aaron handled the phone – although I hope his solution works out. He paid a bill we don’t owe (for a crazy amount of money), thinking they will pay him back which I’m not comfortable with – but it isn’t my money, and he’s usually right about these things.

I took a shower. Our water pressure has had problems lately and this was no different. But we also don’t have much hot water, which hasn’t been a problem for us in years. I don’t like this, but we’re having someone in to look at it.

Later, after a delay of about a month, I finally watched the final 2 episodes of Season 1 of The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power which were epic in scope, filled with the sweeping vistas, fantastic acting and production design, and all the other wonderful elements I’ve now come to expect from the series. And I cried a lot. It made Aaron happy that I’m enjoying the show (which he binged earlier this year) and that we can talk about this season in full now. He did spoil one thing accidentally, but I’m actually quite relieved rather than angered. That particular secret seemed far too dragged out for me so his reveal pleased me a great deal. And though I’m happy I get to watch at least 2 more seasons of the series, I love how this ending works. If the series had been cancelled after this season, it would still be wonderful, it would still feel like an excellent prequel to the films and although there are dangling plot threads, none of them seems so overwhelming that this ending could not have been satisfying on its own. I wish more series would do this.

We had a Zoom call with Aaron’s sister, which was lovely. I’d called her from the car on Saturday and she requested my presence in their weekly chat. It was all enjoyable but I left them for bed around 10.

I slept relatively well Sunday night. No cuddles in the morning as I woke up very hungry and thirsty. My stomach has not been as well behaved today as it has been the last few days, and so I began working on my website, which I’ve now done all day. I’ve not been outside yet, but I’d like to get out for a bit so that I don’t lose my record! But I don’t know if I’m up to going to Aaron’s pool game tonight, because I don’t know that I’m up for being out late. I have a doctor’s appointment that I have to travel for tomorrow and then Wednesday we travel, flying to Florida to check on our house there, which has apparently suffered some damage from the last occupants. I love our house in FL and I like going there, but I always find travel to be a bit stressful, so I’m not looking forward to that part.

Today’s song quote title is from Depeche Mode’s “Blasphemous Rumors”, from their excellent 1984 album, “Some Great Reward”.

May 6, 2026

“Some people don’t care if they live or they die”

I did go back for more Aaron cuddles. Lots of Aaron cuddles. We showered together. I shaved and got ready. I was finally able to get my old earrings in, which felt like a small victory after failing to do so for several months. I wanted to get outside and so I walked to Starbucks. I used to go to Starbucks constantly but it’s pretty rare now. I used to work at this particular store, from October 2012 – September 2014? Something like that. So long ago now. I got a single shot of espresso. I usually get a doppio with cold soy milk and 3 pumps of peppermint, so this was way less sugar, fat and caffeine.

I really do want to lose weight. There’s a struggle between eating healthy and feeding what I think of as “Little Jason”, the food related PTSD child me who is prone to sweets but also to starving. I’ve struggled for so long to feed him and get him eating so it’s strange for both of us to be moving in the other direction, and to try to keep us fed while eating smarter. It’s definitely a learning experience. Today I’ve had a cherry smoothie, some cauliflower & broccoli, and I had my first golden kiwi, which I liked a lot. I have 3 more of those. I will likely break down and have something more filling later, but I do like that I’ve been having healthier choices. I’m doing good work here, I think. Aaron agrees but I need to be my own cheerleader on this stuff and that’s easier at times and harder at others.

Oh. And there were like 50 pictures on my digital camera that I took a few weeks ago, on April 14, which I had totally forgotten about. I’m so clueless sometimes. But that was a nice surprise. Some of them are quite fun. lol

I feel a little sad. I’m not sure why.

I found this song at random on Amazon Music one night. It seems appropriate. I feel like I’m flying up there myself at the moment and I could fall but I what else am I going to do?

February 27, 2026April 26, 2026

February 27, 2026

Take care of you
and take care of yours…

Is this love we have
the answer to wars?

It’s the answer I wanted
and that much I know…

The truth is he left us
a long time ago.

But don’t start to grieve
and don’t shed a tear…

We all have to leave
when the train sounds are clear…

The sweet Twilight Train
which ghosted our nights…

Beneath twilight rain
falling far from The Heights…

A dream shared by siblings
who dream of the dead…

I don’t want damnation –
I just want some head.

Written by Jason Wright
February 27, 2026

November 2, 2017July 18, 2026

November Subway Randomness

The New Order
whispers into my ears
of 22 year old hauntings
in Jewish boarding houses,
communal showers
and a seemingly gay 1963 assassination.

Behind the whispers
are Dominican conversations,
New York realness,
Subway tuna on flat bread
and yogurt scooped in Harlem train station,
only a few blocks from the famous Cotton Club.

Hypnotic androids devour the starving
amidst a pride of dykes
who clearly believe that
orange really is the new black.

All American Boy
croons as I make my mistake,
as I make my escape,
but I will return
so save me my seat.

Written by Jason Wright
November 2, 2017

October 26, 2017July 18, 2026

Knowing Wadsworth

Here we are again
on the cold bathroom tile.

The green wild of summer
is fading between us,
as the young horned lord
smiles at our recognition.

The lilting, hissing piping
of ancient heating system.

We’ve been together
here before, haven’t we?

So strange at first,
that tremulous meeting
of strangers, only
we’re old friends now, aren’t we?

We know one another.

This place,
this collection of rooms
is more than what it was
when I first entered.

You were spotless…
though clearly brutalized,
hungry, lonely and welcoming.

You had known others,
just as I had;
no virgin blood would be spilt on our account.

I wasn’t sure how much I liked you then,
but I put on a brave face
and did my best
because as broken as we were,
we both had our needs
and the desire to satisfy them.

It was kind of you to select me,
despite my noncommittal attitude.

I’m not certain what quality
you saw in me…
I’ve no idea what ignited your interest
and we’ve never spoken of it.

Most of our time is spent silently,
if urgently.

In the moment of our joining
you were like a part of me that I’d yet to explore.

You gave me shelter
in your embrace
even as you fed off my desperation.

I understand that our relationship
has never truly been romantic
but I can appreciate you, can’t I?

I can miss you when I’m gone
and recognize how much you’ve helped bring me peace.

This solace, this sweetness
cannot truly be forever…

You know it as well as I.

This imbues our activity
with a delicate urgency;
bereft of permanence
we exist in a fleeting moment
of movement,
connection, separation
and acknowledgement
of all that we are,
which is somehow not diminished,
but is actually heightened by all that we lack.

Hold me.

Hold me here as we whisper
heated words between only the two of us,

Knowing one day I must walk away from you
and find the strength to never again return,

Knowing that I’ll never again be inside of you
though a part of me will remain here forever.

Hush now.
Don’t weep.

We will not end when we part,
you and I.

My silent echo will fill you,
completing the circuit between us;
never quite actualizing,
ghosting us forever until the end of our days.

No one will guess when they see us.
No one will sense the stain that we’ve left on one another.

Memory, our only souvenir
will be a secret we take to our graves.

But I will always hear you
in the piping sounds of autumn,
like Pan, greeting me
in the desiccated ruin of the green.

But come now,
come
and let us make the most of nights remaining,
when we may know one another
without fear, sadness or shame.

You have entered me,
as surely as I have penetrated,
you are inside of me,
and we will know one another
for as long as we can remember.

Written by Jason Wright
October 26, 2017

This is a love poem dedicated to our NYC apartment on Wadsworth Avenue in Washington Heights. It was written listening to the soundtrack to the 2015 Todd Haynes film “Carol” by Carter Burwell, after watching the movie at home for the first time after seeing it in theaters.