“What am I trying to do? What am I trying to say?”

I ask those questions a lot lately. Mostly related to this place, but in other contexts as well. Sometimes I think have answers but other times I don’t know.

I like video games but it is difficult for me to find games that I love. I lucked out when during the pandemic, through a group plan on Nintendo Switch, I had free access to the then 3 year old game, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. I had played a few Zelda games before, including the original, but the last one I’d played, Twilight Princess, had so frustrated me that I’d basically sworn them off. I didn’t think I’d play Breath of the Wild for long, but I’m still playing it 6 years later and I’ve played through the entire game 7 or 8 times. I love it. But hearing that I love this game, people ask me what else I like and there isn’t much. Aaron plays many, many video games and enjoys them all. I like Mario Kart, due in part to Aaron training me on some of the basics that I never would have picked up on my own. Also during the pandemic I played through Super Mario Odyssey, which I enjoyed at the time. I played the first 3 Spyro games. I beat the original Metroid game and the first sequel, which was released for Gameboy. I like Injustice 2. I love the old Playstation game The Unholy War. But in the last few years it has mostly been Breath of the Wild and it’s spin-offs.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom will be three years old next month. I started what I think is my 4th playthrough of the game yesterday. So far I’m taking my time. The first 3 times I played I sped through the opening sky island until it was finished before taking a break, but not this time. I intend to take the game slowly and try to enjoy it over a longer span of time. And I want to try to play it in the story order that the game clearly wants you to go in. I don’t know if I’ll be successful. I always get distracted and want to do other things in these games, and in “Breath of the Wild” / “Tears of the Kingdom”, you can, which is probably why I love them so much.

I got dressed yesterday evening and was thinking of going to Boxers, a gay sports bar in lower Manhattan, but I was also hungry and thought getting pizza and then staying in for the night to chill might be nice. But then I thought I might go get the pizza, take it home, maybe have a slice and then going to the bar, but walking to the restaurant made my decision a lot easier. For about a year, maybe a little longer, I sometimes get these horrible pains in my ankles when I walk. It isn’t all the time. But when it happens it is really difficult to keep going. I p[lan to discuss this with my doctor at my next appointment, which I believe is in June. I should have mentioned it before now, but I often have a hard time speaking coherently to doctors and need to take notes and things beforehand to remember what I need to say, and this is on the agenda. And on top of that, it was a lot chillier than I expected, even having looked at the weather and having worn a jacket. So once I was home I was in for the night, which is what led to me playing Zelda.

When I’m sitting in our office, I’m pretty quiet. I don’t usually have a lot of noise around me, and it is then, late at night when I can hear the mice. We’ve had mice in our apartment off and on over the years, but we haven’t had them since we had our apartment redone. This is likely due to many of the holes in the original floor, near the old heating registers being sealed and many of those pipes being removed. But I thought I heard one. I told myself I was probably just hearing the normal noises of a home. Later when getting ready for bed I thought I heard it again, but it stopped. I thought maybe I was hearing some residual noise from the downstairs neighbors. But while sitting on our bed, a mouse came under the bedroom door right below me and I screamed like a little bitch. I think I said “Get OUT!” The mouse stopped then scurried under the bed. I found the one trap I knew we had and set it out. I then ordered a box of 20 more. These traps are brutal but they seem to kill the rodents instantly. And then I sweep them up and throw them away. It’s kind of ironic that I’m only hearing this mouse after Aaron left for L.A. because Aaron is deathly afraid of rodents, which is problematic in NYC because rodents often run across the sidewalks or over the streets, or through the subways. They don’t bother me when I see them outside. Not even a little. But when they’re inside my house I am bothered. But if they are in the house, it is left up to me to deal with them because Aaron can’t. He doesn’t even like to hear that they are there and if I catch them or kill them or barely miss doing so, I can’t talk to him about it because he gets very upset. Hopefully I can get rid of this one before he comes home, partially so he doesn’t have to deal with it at all, but also because I just want it gone. I’m not sure what it is doing in here. Our apartment is very clean and is even more clean than usual as I tossed a lot of junk out recently so there are even more open surfaces with less hiding spots. Still, I think I’m going to clean the bedroom later.

Due to the mouse, I ended up going to bed much later than I had planned, well into Tuesday’s morning hours. I didn’t sleep well. I also didn’t take my Ambien, because I’m trying to take it less often. Hopefully this means I’ll sleep better tonight. I’m falling behind on my TV shows. I haven’t watched LOTR: The Rings of Power in over a week. I’ve not watched more of Daredevil or Tales of the City. I never finished last week’s Maul episodes and 2 more came out yesterday, but the latter series might work better as a binge anyways. And I want to watch and review some queer films soon. I’ll try to catch up on that stuff soon. Possibly later today. There is a new Daredevil: Born Again episode tonight, which I will likely watch as soon as I can; sometimes that’s the night it airs and other times it is the day after. We’ll see. Maybe I’ll end up doing nothing.

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