“Top Ten in the Charts of Pain”

Yesterday was productive. I got tons done on the new website. It’s fun and a bit of an obsession right now. It can be relaxing but I have to remind myself to step away from the computer and get other things done and to take breaks so that I don’t get totally burnt out.

I got away yesterday for a not-so-fun reason. Aaron was in pain and told me he was going to CityMD. I had just eaten so I needed to sit still for a little bit but soon dressed and joined him at the clinic, which is just across the road from us. They let me back to see him just as he was about to have an EKG, which appeared normal, but they instructed us to watch out for certain signs and if we see any of those we are heading to an emergency room. He’s taken the day off of work today.

Later I watched the first 2 episodes of the new Star Wars: Maul – Shadow Lord series. It’s a little slow, as this is a new beginning, but I enjoyed most of it. We know Maul of course, and we’ve met Rook Kast in passing, but most of the characters and the world is new, so I’m okay with it taking a little time to get going. I wish the entire series was available now, because I would have binged it over a couple of days. I’m curious to see where this goes…

My gripes are few. The new world, the planet Janix, looks so similar to Coruscant, that if I hadn’t been paying attention, I’d have thought that was the setting. It makes sense that Maul would be on a different world as he’s avoiding entanglements with the Empire, but most worlds in Star Wars look at least a little different, and this looks exactly the same. Maybe there were visual cues that I missed. I also didn’t like the ends of the episodes. The cliffhanger moments make you want to watch the next one, which is the point, but again, if this was released all at once I’d be happier with that model. And then the pace, as I said, is a bit slow at times – or, more accurately, the faster paced stuff often didn’t matter to me, because I didn’t feel very invested in most of the new characters. There are already signs that this will likely change fairly quickly, but for now it feels problematic; trailers and posters have revealed later appearances by several known characters that will likely help with this.

I think this might be great in time. I’ve been wanting to re-watch The Clone Wars for several years now, not having seen most of it in over a decade, and with The Bad Batch and the Star Wars: Tales shorts in place, this could all be a lot of fun. But I’m currently watching so much stuff that this will have to wait for now. Hopefully someday!

Later I also continued on with my first time through The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (S01E06 “Udûn”). I hadn’t watched any episodes in over a week and was worried I’d have lost interest again. I’ve tried twice before to get into this series but this time has been far more rewarding and I’m 2 episodes further than I’ve ever been. And this episode was fantastic, filled with multiple events that I had anticipated but had assumed would happen in the season finale but we still have 2 more episodes to go! There were also several surprises and my theories about this or that character are developing and changing with nearly every episode. I don’t know why it has taken me so long to get into this series but I’m really glad that I have. It’s also nice knowing that I have 10 more episodes as Season 2 aired over a year ago, and that Season 3 will include a time jump, which suggests that Season 2 will have an ending that won’t drive me crazy. I hope. lol

I only meant to stay up a little to see if I could update a few more items on my site but I ended up staying up past 4 am, listening to From the Choirgirl Hotel, the Tori Amos album released in May of 1998 and which I often listened to when building the first iteration of this website in the fall of that year. I eventually had to call it quits after working to exhaustion – and I knew I needed to sleep before my therapy appointment today. I slept for 6 hours. I had relatively intense dreams but they’re finally fading now. I woke with a migraine, which hasn’t happened much lately, for which I’m very grateful. I had a smoothie (with coffee) and took a small dose of pain medication.

“Love Will Tear Us Apart”

The night we met was perfect
and y(our) first kiss haunts me now.

We might have been imperfect…
(Ian Curtis taunts our vow)

Torn apart by love
and doubt
by time
and timely yearning…

Torn apart by love
about
this time
of no returning…

You blessed me on the spot
and then you left me feeling cursed.

I guess we kissed a lot of men
but I was still your first.

I know I’m not the last to love you;
know I’ve not the right…

But close my eyes
and I’m above you…

Comfort me tonight.

Written by Jason Wright
February 22, 2022

For Sean Mobley / Theo Wolfe

This is She

Girl will finish drowning
for the seventh time in four years;
she must be pretty adept by now.

Each She is a fragment.
Each fragment is a piece of Mollie.

Mollie Ann Baker is an imp
who’s initials reveal a faerie queen
beneath the glittering surface
of Tennessee water that her people
refuse to bathe in.

The water spills
out of a holy well which,
when penetrated deeply (and wetly) reveals Tam Lin
in all his naked transformative glory.

Hold tight to that one
and he’ll give you the happily ever after
you’ve been waiting for,
or so the minstrels say.

He always slips through my fingers
when he recognizes me as the Dana to his Zor,
primed for immolation; devastated to be losing me once again.
Thrice damned. Forever haunted.

Faerie Queen Mab (M.A.B.) doesn’t actually
hold the prince as prisoner;
not for love & never for sacrifice.

Blood Queen is happiest in the embrace of
ocean smelling mermaid ghost werewolves,
twice devoured by terrifying thing
beneath what is seen by the sane and the deadly dull.

Mother and daughter,
frothy creature is beautiful, sad,
not entirely human (if at all).

My Mab could teach her a few songs, I’m sure.

My Mab is more than human,
extraordinary beyond us all
and yet sister to worlds within worlds;
she holds us all in her ginger wreathed
collection of dreams, nightmares and visions,
gives us meaning, laughter, mirth
and a sobering empathetic sorrow
that we might appreciate the solace
found within her coils.

Mab, beheld is a monstrous beauty
which wild with grief for events still to come
still gives precious smiles…

And when lucky mustard seed bottle cap talismans
shatter the glass to be pocketed like coins —
with that much luck and a fire of bones
‘neath lilting pipes
on nights when the Unseelie Court
dance naked round Old Oak’s Children
of acorn and water lily…
On nights such as these
our Mab may summon her human type voice,
call through the wires to shock, bless, talk
of when we were once human together
in Michigan type semblance of life.

Lucky am I
for recognizing the wonder
that so many mistake
for imagined mysticism.

M.A.B., My Mab, My Mollie, Queen of Faerie, Sib of my heart:
Bless us all with a sea siren song of words through thine art.

Written by Jason Wright
July 31, 2017

For Mollie Baker

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