Stonewall Chorale – BALD JASON'S GAY GOTH BOY BLOG

May 17, 2026May 17, 2026

“I Smell Your Sweat On My Skin”

I did not sleep well Friday night, only getting about 5 hours. I also had potato chips on Friday, which for many years was a staple of my diet. Every day. But I’ve since noticed that I don’t like how I feel after I eat them, which feels bizarre to me. They are the ultimate comfort food for me, and yet they make me feel horrible, so I’m starting to feel about them the way that I imagine alcoholics feel about alcohol. I hate them, but I crave them and every once in awhile I break down and have them, and then I feel like shit for hours after. I don’t like it. But I like that I can recognize the connection, when I’m not sure that I would have just a few years ago.

I got ready for the Stonewall Chorale talent show party hours in advance and then just chilled. Well…chilled isn’t the right word. I didn’t relax. I just waited. And I felt slightly trapped. I wanted to go for a walk but didn’t feel I could. I mean, I had the time, but anytime I go out I risk not having the energy to do things later and I didn’t want that. But long story short, we did eventually go, and despite some delays, we made it in time for plenty of fun. We actually drove through Manhattan, The Bronx and Queens to get to Brooklyn so we were in 4 of the 5 NYC boroughs – I jokingly tried to get Aaron to take us to Staten Island so we could hit all 5 but he refused. I read this poem in the talent show, which was a hit despite me not reading it incredibly well; it felt nice to contribute to the group. Two others also read poems. 2 people played drums. 1 did martial arts. There was a fortune teller reading. Tricks with cherry stems. A dramatic performance. Interpretive dance. It was all very lighthearted and joyful. It was so much fun to see so many people outside of the choir setting. with many of them behaving very differently – not in a crazy way. I just mean, people were more relaxed and there was more time to actually talk and bond. It was lovely.

Oh. And going to the party marked my 14th consecutive day out of the apartment! I think 4 days was my record when I started this and so I’m doing really, really well. And with the walks to the park I’ve walked at least 9 or 10 miles this week. That’s crazy. It seems impossible to me, and yet I was there for it. I feel good.

After the party, on our way home, we drove Nicole and Nick to their places. It was nice to have still more conversations. After we were both safe inside I quickly began getting tired and started getting ready for bed around 8. By 9 I was in bed and falling asleep fast. I slept for something like 9 hours. I got up briefly but went back to bed knowing that Aaron would want to cuddle, which I did for almost another hour, and then I got up. I had a cherry smoothie and uploaded several more poems. I will continue to work on the site for a bit and then I will likely go for another walk, which I’ll invite Aaron on but I don’t know if he’ll go or not. We have a phone / video date with his sister tonight. And beyond that I don’t know what else is in store today. I have a G.I. appointment on Tuesday and then we leave for Florida on Wednesday.

Today’s journal entry quote comes from “Breakfast in Vegas” by Praga Khan. This song was playing at a San Francisco club in October of 2000, when a woman called me a gay slur before I started making out with her boyfriend, which I described in my poem.

May 15, 2026May 15, 2026

“All The Things You Do To Me We Could Exaggerate”

I walked .02 miles to a local grocery store. I picked up a head of cauliflower, some mushrooms and the waffles that my dietician recommended. After I took that home the weather was so lovely that I changed and walked to the park. When I go to Fort Tryon Park, I love to sit in this area called the Linden Terrace, where I often call my grandmother as I take in the view of the Hudson River and New Jersey across the river. On my way to the park I had a resurgence of this pain that I sometimes get in my ankles / shins. I sat on a bench just outside the park and called my sister, Janice, who I spoke to for about 20 minutes, eventually walking into the park and continued to chat with her. There were so many squirrels in the park today, many of them approaching me in a way that I’ve never seen before; I assumed that many people feed them and this was confirmed by my friend Nathan later. Walking to Linden Terrace from our apartment is exactly a mile. I felt good and the pain had gone. I took a longer, more scenic route home, so I’m sure I walked about 3 miles today. And that’s me being out 13 days in a row.

I traded texts with Janice and Nathan. I had some nice moments with Celine and Aaron. And I just chilled for the rest of the afternoon.

Aaron is taking me to a Stonewall Chorale party tomorrow that will feature a talent show in which none of the performers can sing as their talent. I’m reading a poem, but I’m not sure which title I’ll pick. I’ve narrowed it down to a few, but I think it will depend on how the audience seems. Really, I’d share all of them if I could. Not because I think I’m an amazing writer, but because I have a very hard time deciding anything! lol

I’m staying up a bit later tonight to get some stuff ready for that and I haven’t really gotten ready for bed yet. If I get to bed by 1am I should be fine.

Today’s title quote is from “Rebirth of the Cool” by The Afghan Whigs from their 1992 album “Uptown Avondale”.

May 12, 2026

“Living Your Ghost”

I shaved and showered but got very sleepy and I almost took a nap. I got a call from my cousin Katie who I chatted with for a bit. I adore her! I feel like we started talking weekly during the pandemic and we’ve just never looked back! Then after she had to go I got ready to go out. I rode to choir with Aaron, thinking I might just say to everyone because I was very hungry, but I stayed until half-time, singing, which was such a blast. It’s fun hearing my voice, and hearing the choir, and following direction and paying attention to breath. I was nice. But I knew if I didn’t go home early I’d get hungry, eat and then not be able to sleep. I left during the intermission. But I got to see Andrew (who I thought had already moved to Michigan, but hasn’t yet), Donald (whom I’d seen before but not met), Emily (who gave me her address so I can give her wife a book I think she’ll like), Cynthia (whom I love and I gave a hug to before I left), Beth (who is leaving for Costa Rica tomorrow) and I met Christine (who told me she loved my “Nine Inch Males” shirt as NIN was the first concert she ever attended – and when I told her a Trent Reznor anecdote from 1995, she was shocked to learn my age, which made me smile.

I think Aaron thought I just wanted to come home to watch The Punisher: One Last Kill but I decided that I’d probably wait until tomorrow. The train ride home was easy and relaxed. I picked up pizza, ordering from my phone when I exited at 181st Street and walking over. I tried to call Mark Adams (who had tried calling me while I was with the choir) but he didn’t answer. I got the pizza, got home, undressed, ate more than I expected to, but not too much. And I read the news from the Upfronts, which wasn’t a lot, but still made me happy. VisionQuest will premiere on October 14, 2026. Ahsoka Season 2 won’t arrive until “early” 2027. And that’s all the news really. The Ahsoka news is a little bit of a letdown, but I didn’t love the first season so I don’t care about that as much. Meanwhile, I love “WandaVision” and “Agatha All Along” so I’m very excited for “VisionQuest” and hope that it can end the trilogy in style, and that the characters (including Wanda) can all return in the films. The other day, I also saw that “The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power” (which I’ve again not watched in like a month now) will return on November 11, 2026. So if I could catch up before that, I should be fine.

I took a sleeping pill and scrubbed most of the makeup off. I put the leftovers in the freezer and then wrote this. I’m going to start heading to bed soon. I have therapy tomorrow at 2pm. I have a Punisher special to watch and maybe some LOTR but I also want to make sure I get outside; keep this wave of excursions going!

May 9, 2026May 10, 2026

“Just one beat of your heart…”

Our trip to Allentown, Pennsylvania was a success. We picked up our friend Joanna from Starbucks and off we went across the GWB, into NJ and on to Pennsylvania, where we attended the Lehigh Valley Chorale’s 10th Anniversary concert, “The Road Home”, which was wonderfully quirky and really inspiring. The show was held at the Miller Symphony Hall (23 N 6th Street · Allentown PA 18101), a really great space! The director, Nick, who we all agreed, knocked it out of the park, will be coming in to lead the Stonewall Chorale over the next year and then carry the choir forward after Cynthia resigns. This was the first time I’d ever really spoken to Joanna but I’d seen her perform with the choir many times. We had other friends coming to the show but they were caught in traffic so they missed the first act. After the show I got to meet Nick and then Aaron, Joanna, Emily, Linda and their daughter and I all headed for our reservation at Simpatico (27 N 7th St, Allentown, PA 18101), an Italian restaurant, where our company was fantastic, our food was delicious, and our waiter smelled really bad. Oh well. I had never met Linda and this was the first time I really got to talk to her and her wife. They’re big Star Wars / Marvel fans and I loved talking to them about queer cinema.

After the restaurant we said goodnight and drove Joanna back to the city and returned home. Aaron and I had a great conversation about where we are, where we are headed, and how our goals, which had been diverted during the pandemic of 2020 could finally be continued now and I’m here for it! I know he’s excited and so am I. But I’m tired. So I showered and started getting ready for bed.

May 4, 2026May 4, 2026

“And if I feel this way for so long tell me, is it all for nothing?”

Instead of going for a walk, I cuddled with Aaron, which he was very grateful for. I had a smoothie. I looked at the weather and we were to have a high of about 60 degrees around 4pm. Aaron revealed that he had choir practice in the West Village. I had a slice of pizza, got ready and then rode down to the village with him, arriving about 2pm. We held hands in the rental car, which we needed as our car, Ruby, had a flat tire the day before. I went with Aaron to Dunkin Donuts but I abstained from all the sugary snacks. We went to Saint John’s Lutheran Church, where my former writers group, The Poetry Table, used to meet. It is always so nice to see everyone! Cynthia Powell, the choir director welcomed me with a big hug. I asked her if I could get a photograph. She put on some lipstick and agreed.

I left as the choir began their warmups. I walked to the Stonewall Memorial where I snapped another picture. The wind chill was a bit more chill than I like my wind! But I wanted to walk and I was dressed appropriately. I kept getting cold, pulling my sleeves down, getting warm, rolling them up, getting cold…

I walked around a bit and ended up at Washington Square Park. I sat for awhile and walked around some more. It was pretty crowded, despite the fountain not being on, and it was fun to watch the various groups of people. I snapped a few pictures of the Washington Square Arch just before I exited the park and headed out.

I had a nice, windy, walk around the village. I needed to pee so I stopped into the Stonewall Inn before I headed to the A train. Only there were delays on that track which would require a shuttle service so I walked over to the 1 Train instead and finally headed home on a very crowded train. When we were approaching 181st Street, the woman next to me had a coughing fit and I asked if she needed / wanted a cough drop but she aid her mouth was just very dry. I informed her I was getting off the train at the next stop and that she could have my water, which she accepted. I felt good that I was able to help. I walked the few blocks home, got undressed and took a shower.

I was hungry. I had cauliflower and broccoli with ranch dressing, while I read the news and chatted with some friends. Later, I realized I was up to leaving the house again, got dressed and went for a second walk, running into Aaron at the gate as he was arriving home. Initially intending to walk to the Little Red Lighthouse under the George Washington Bridge, I got distracted by some greenery and headed down Bennet, through the subway to Bennet Park where I called my recently widowed cousin Linda, so we could make each other laugh, the way we always do. I spoke to her as I took the long way home. She asked if I was in an elevator when I was heading up the the apartment and I told her I was. She said hello to Aaron and then we said goodnight. I played some Zelda and had another smoothie. I was still very hungry though so I opted for another slice of pizza, with added chia seeds. I got a call from Mark Adams and his daughter Raven and we spoke while I got ready for bed, and then I passed out pretty quickly. I woke up at 4:30 and wrote this.

While writing this I started getting a visual migraine and quickly took the appropriate medication for such an event. It was a struggle to continue writing as I was only able to see about half of the screen, but I did it. The visual obnoxiousness has mostly faded now. But when I’m done I’m going back to bed.

And I guess I’m done now? I slept well. But if I can get a bit more sleep that would be nice and would undoubtedly help with the migraine which is likely to begin in about 20 minutes or less. I feel like I had a good day yesterday. I avoided overly sugary / salty snacks, only drinking water or smoothies, and I also managed to get outside multiple times for some exercise. I don’t have much planned for today. Possibly watching the final Maul episodes of the season and I’d like to go Aaron’s pool game (if he goes). Otherwise I think I’m good. Oh, and I need to write a review for Claire of the Moon, which I was going to do now, but again, that’s not a great idea now. I hope everyone is having a good day!

And now it is Tuesday, May 4th! Happy Star Wars Day! May the 4th Be With You! <3