I tried working on my website a bit more yesterday but after the productive morning everything I tried just confirmed that I needed to take a break. I showered, shaved and dressed. I decided I wanted food and ordered online. I walked to the store and back. I tried one more time to get something done on here but again, I knew it was time to stop. I ate, put away the leftovers and played some Zelda. I also had a conversation with Mark Adams about his recent birthday, last week’s “Daredevil: Born Again” episode, which he thought was the best of the series to date, and our old adventures for Shawn Foreman and Sean Mobley (whom he had totally confused for one another) – and my now somewhat extensive experience with cruise lines.
I was growing tired and between 9 & 10 I started getting ready for bed and was asleep when Aaron got home. I woke as he was getting into bed and trying to get settled – he closed the door really loudly and kept moving constantly, so he kept waking me up. He also kissed me. Which now that I’m awake, I appreciate, but when I’m sleeping, and people try to be affectionate with me, my sleeping brain does not accept these things and I was mostly just annoyed that he’d woken me up again! lol I did get back to sleep though. I dreamed that I had cancer, or they believed I had cancer. I wasn’t sure I trusted my doctor and others who were there definitely thought it was a hoax. The treatment was going to be extracts from eggplants, liquified and blasted up my ass. I wonder what that could symbolize? lol I woke around 5am and was out of bed by 5:20. I had a smoothie and looked at the news.
I want to work on my viewing orders but I have yet to find a format that I really enjoy for my website, even if I’m excited about the things I want to convey. I’ll give it more thought. I also want to give some thought on what my next essay should entail. And I have so much more to upload here.
I wonder if we’re going to Aaron’s pool game tonight?
This Goo Goo Dolls song was featured in “Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare” (1991), which I saw in theaters (in September), by myself, while my sister Janice and her fiancé saw a pre-video premiere re-release of “Dances with Wolves” (1990); their movie was significantly longer than mine so I had to wait in the car for a very long time! lol
During the Nightmare on Elm Street sequel, there is a statue which says “The Children Will Endure”, which stuck with me after the movie. I had long been having erotic dreams; homoerotic dreams, and I latched onto the “The Children Will Endure” and wrote a bunch of poems with “Children” in the title, most of them named after different songs, with the poems being disguised / coded retellings of my dreams which were sexy enough to feel like I accomplished something but were secretive enough to share without feeling like I’d actually outed myself. “The Children Chronicles”. Reading those things now, I’m mostly just happy that I don’t have to hide such things anymore, but a few of them do capture the imagery that in my dreams haunted me daily. I like to sleep. I like to dream. And some of these dreams are as treasured as my waking life.
“The Children Chronicles” ended, more or less, with poems written about friends I’d made while staying in Mercywood Hospital from March – April of 1992 after a non-existent “suicide attempt” (I had a scratch). Most of these friends have been lost by now, but I sill remember them fondly.