Tag: Inspired by Jamie Bloom

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Life Amongst Memories

I

Tumbling through my phone
I notice that Jamie Bloom
is still listed amongst my favorites
and I realize it’s been more than a year
since I’ve seen her.

The realization is somewhat jarring
but I choose to smile as I look back
on a year that was some kind of trial by fire;
August in one year, October the next.

“Do you have a worksheet?” I ask Anna,
who tells me that I’m six steps ahead of her,
just like Jamie used to do!

II

I jot these things down in my notebook
on October 9, 2018,
but when I transcribe them to this work,
it’s more than a month later
and when I search to spell her name correctly
I find video message
singing amongst sleeping cables
and smile for all those she’s likely to help
save themselves.

Written by Jason Wright
October 9 & November 29, 2018

For Jamie, obviously,
but also for my selves
and for Anna.

It was a tricky year
but we made it!

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Sirens

Tonight
after haunted days of painful painlessness
a siege of sirens comes
to serenade, seduce and succor…
to simplify…
to supply me with solace
as I drown
beneath waves of mutilation
(with apologies to Pixies).

My Aaron sings to me
his soothing tones
which are less like music;
more like verse…
strumming my ribcage
beneath salt water seas,
we swim naked for hours
through tears we’ve not shed.

The other Aaron,
the Aaron between us,
he haunts through
photograph, text and memory,
echoing across time and geography
to be one with us again.

There are naked hungry men
beneath those shadowed depths,
those sombre shades of green
lit by melancholy movie soundtracks.

The mermen dive for pleasure
and breathe truthfully through gilled
fantasy lies which excite and entice me
before dragging me down to my death.

In amber and glow,
through fogged glass of sunken ships
she is weeping her mermaid crocodile tears.

This is not truly Jamie;
this being is not my sister or my therapist.
The former doesn’t speak to me, even on land
and the latter will soon be lost to me –
just as I left her (unforgivably)
in the haste of my waking nightmare.

She will forgive me this unforgivable sin.

She is strong but she is wounded –
like me,
underwater –
like me,
and she will rise again –
like me.

Could this truly be her after all?

I smile and wave goodbye to her
but she can’t see me until Thursday.

Mermaid simulacrum smiles just the same…
but here my visions come to an end.

Written by Jason Wright
August 17, 2017

For Aaron Squared & Jamie Bloom

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The Courage That You Gave Me

Before our partnership was born
I bled in desperation


blood for blood
my spirit torn
bereft of integration


past & present
interwoven
divided over years


you saw my life was badly broken
guided me through tears


you wouldn’t judge and helped
as this beginner deeply delved


without a touch you held
as I embraced my other selves


and what achieved together
I acknowledge here with pride


for you have changed my life forever
and left me well supplied


with lessons learned
and skill sets earned
you’ve taught me that I’m able


to meet this end
success my friend
for you I’m always grateful.

Written by Jason Wright
August 10, 2017

For Jamie Bloom

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“all I use”

my headphones are broken
already ripped open
could not find the cloth
and I’m running late

don’t know that I want this
can I stand here dressed like this?
goth boy is sweating
panic on train

but breathe and get through this
you know you can do this
you just have to break from
your mind’s lonely cage

I’ll dry and arrive there
Jamie will not care
get it all done
and you’ll be all the rage

Written by Jason Wright
July 27, 2017

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UNBECOMING:

I don’t know who I am anymore.
I don’t know who I am anymore.
I don’t know who I am anymore.
Perhaps I never knew.

I know I’m alive when we are together
but when I’m alone that’s not true.

I’m struggling and flailing
just learning to breathe
searching for clues and for answers.

The truth is I’ve died now
(so many times now)
Perhaps all that’s left are the ashes.

I’m strong and I’m brave
(at least that’s what friends say)
I exist so perhaps they are right.

But the pain that I feel
as I struggle to heal
overwhelms me until I must write.

The nightmares are cursed
but the visions are worse
because comforting lies can still soothe me.

And I fear I won’t ask..
How long can dreams last?
One day my dreams might consume me.

But I don’t want to leave
so I struggle to breathe
and I reach out to family and friends.

I try to learn skills
but the timing still kills
and I know that everything ends.

Written by Jason Wright
July 19, 2013

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