Tag: Grandma

Posted on

“I knew then it would be a life long thing…”

I slept well. Another morning of Aaron cuddles. We spoke to Mary Ellen, my sister Janice and my grandmother Frances for Mother’s Day. And I went for a walk. 8th Day outside in a row! I walked to the grocery store for salad dressing and picked up a few other items, all healthier than I sometimes do, and I wasn’t even tempted for sweets or chips. That’s not always the case. Aaron cleaned up a bunch of stuff that only he could do and we just seem to be having a nice day.

My haul from the grocery store. 05-10-26.

On my walk, I listened to a mix of Tori Amos songs, and I put on the Tori shirt that Sean gave me 25 years ago. It was just 10 minutes or so of giving him a moment. It was nice. Respectful. Healing. Sometimes I need to do that with people I’ve lost along the way.

Posted on

UNBECOMING:

I don’t know who I am anymore.
I don’t know who I am anymore.
I don’t know who I am anymore.
Perhaps I never knew.

I know I’m alive when we are together
but when I’m alone that’s not true.

I’m struggling and flailing
just learning to breathe
searching for clues and for answers.

The truth is I’ve died now
(so many times now)
Perhaps all that’s left are the ashes.

I’m strong and I’m brave
(at least that’s what friends say)
I exist so perhaps they are right.

But the pain that I feel
as I struggle to heal
overwhelms me until I must write.

The nightmares are cursed
but the visions are worse
because comforting lies can still soothe me.

And I fear I won’t ask..
How long can dreams last?
One day my dreams might consume me.

But I don’t want to leave
so I struggle to breathe
and I reach out to family and friends.

I try to learn skills
but the timing still kills
and I know that everything ends.

Written by Jason Wright
July 19, 2013

Posted on

FALLING TO PIECES

I was pushed from a height
and I plummeted downward…

I shattered to pieces
yet I travelled onward,

And the night that I met you
was desperate and magic…

A ghost of myself;
my death had been tragic…

I walked through the cold;
could not have been bolder…

And one of my murderers
cried on my shoulder.

But you crossed my path
though we’d met before…

In a time I can’t fathom
or begin to explore…

For that October night
eclipsed all the others…

And you took me home
though we weren’t even lovers.

You sparked something there
that I could not perceive,

Igniting a flame
that I could not believe,

A fire that warmed
what had threatened to freeze me,

Desire that formed
over time as you freed me.

We were friends
with a sparkle
of laughter and lust…

We grew to be more
as we developed our trust…

And friends became lovers
and partners and family…

You’re in my blood;
in my breath;
you’re inside me.

You’re part of me now
and I don’t want to lose you…

I don’t want to doubt,
disrespect or abuse you…

I don’t want to hurt you
or take you for granted…

I’m conscious of this
and I need to be candid…

I’ve loved you for years now
and yet I’m still falling…

Still falling in love with
no signs of stalling…

Will we crash at the bottom
or land on our feet?

All I know is that
falling with you I’m complete.

Written by Jason Wright
April 13, 2013

For: Aaron Sanko

Posted on

Life and Survival

In two-thousand-nine
my life was sublime…

Feeling finally whole
after such a long time…

But it wasn’t to last
and it wasn’t to stay…

I learned to survive
and forgot how to play.

Survival is fine
when that’s all you’ve got…

In two-thousand-ten
that mattered a lot…

But just hanging on
isn’t really like living…

Just understanding
is not like forgiving.

In twenty-eleven
my world fell apart…

I lost all that mattered
to me and my heart…

Yet still I survived
as a ghost of myself…

Until love brought me back:
I became someone else.

And that someone else
left in twenty-and-twelve…

And I left life behind
that I could save myself…

But there’s life and survival
and I’m caught in-between…

Perhaps I’ll choose life
in twenty-thirteen.

Written by Jason Wright
Tuesday, March 5, 2013

error: Content is protected !!