“Don’t You Think It’s Time for Bed?”

I’ve been meaning to write the last few days but I’ve gotten a bit behind. I did major updates on the photos and viewing orders, and we’ve been busy with other things. I’d probably skip this tonight as well, but we’re going to have visitors this weekend and our schedule is packed. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do everything that Aaron has planned but I’ll try.

Back to our Michigan trip. On Sunday (June 28, 2026), we visited my maternal grandmother (Frances), my youngest maternal aunt (Marge), and my older sister (Janice), with cameos by a couple of cousins, Marge’s oldest son (Michael) and his son (Dajr). I feel like I’m describing all this rather oddly, but I’m really tired – so forgive me.

Grandma told us the sweetest thing before we left. When I met Aaron in late 2011 he was preparing for a February concert, The Broadway We Love, which featured him singing all these Broadway tunes for charity. There was a cd of the concert, which I gave to my grandmother and I knew she listened to it at the time, but she told Aaron that she still listens to it and that when he sings about cellophane, she rocks her shoulders back and forth and it makes her feel good. She doesn’t really follow musical theater, but I knew right away she was talking about the song “Mr. Cellophane” from the 1975 American musical “Chicago”. It makes me smile every time I think about it.

We left around 5:30 to meet our friend Jessie and my oldest Nephew Justin at Pizza House in Ann Arbor. Justin had never been there, which shocked me. We told him all sorts of stories about our adventures there in the past and the conversation in general was really great. Justin and Jesse are some of the most interesting people I know, and everyone was pleased with food, and the evening was lovely.

After dinner we went to Uplift to play some pool, unaware that they were hosting a drag event, so there were far more people that the previous time we went there. Pool was played. Drag was performed. We said goodnight to Jesse and drove Justin back to his car. He seemed interested in going camping with us. I wonder if that will happen?

We headed back to the hotel. I packed most of my things and went to bed. We sorted everything in the morning and we headed to the airport. Later we learned that my medication that had seemed to have never been sent had actually arrived within 24 hours of us but they just never sent me a tracking number – but by the time we found out we were already in New York. So the saga of the meds continues. We got some more out of pocket from a local pharmacy until we can get the one that was sent to Michigan.

I randomly got bumped up to First Class. I was in the first row all by myself. It didn’t actually feel like much of an upgrade but I was reading all the way home, so it was fine. I finished reading “Rock” yesterday? Or maybe the day before? I don’t know. The the first book I’ve finished in ages. I found out there is a sequel or a spin-off or something, which I downloaded but I haven’t started it yet. I had therapy on Tuesday, which went well. I’ve spoken to Katie this week. Aaron’s sister and brother-in-law will be arriving tomorrow for a weekend of fun.

I’m behind on all my TV shows. So many. I’m watching “Daredevil” (Season 3), rewatched Star Trek: Discovery (on Season 3 of that too), I’m 2 episodes behind on “The Vampire Lestat”, with a third arriving this Sunday. I’m 3 episodes behind on “X-Men ’97”. I’m 7 episodes behind on “Spider-Noir”. I’m sure there’s more. It’s starting to bother me though. I just never seem to have time, despite staying mostly indoors this week due to the heatwave.

I’ve continued to eat healthy since I got home. In Michigan I had McDonald’s a couple of times, and had some chips. But I also had smoothies and egg whites while I was there, which was nice. I feel like there’s more but I’m so tired, I just want to go to bed.

Aaron and I continued our Re-Trek with TNG S03E05 “The Bonding”, which continues the streak of good or great Season 3 episodes. I had some minor quibbles. Deanna Troi’s heterosexist comment of a future wife for Jeremy Astor felt outdated and annoying. How spoiled I have become by modern Trek! There were a few other bits, the most glaring being that Jeremy Astor is set up to be a recurring character of a sort but he never even mentioned again, or at least not that I can remember. It feels like a rare misstep with Worf’s storylines. This also felt like the first of the Deanna / Worf storylines, which continue throughout the series. I look forward to seeing more soon, but I doubt we’ll be able to see any until after this weekend, unfortunately.

Today’s song quote title comes from “Sexy Nerd” by Jonny McGovern; a song from his 2012 album “The Gayest of All Time”, which started playing on my phone as I was finishing this post. It’s on a playlist I made on Amazon Music titled “LGBTQ”.


“Don’t Think I’ve Left You All Behind”

So, Aaron and I are home after several days away. Here’s how June 24 & June 25 unfolded…

Wednesday (June 24, 2026), Aaron and I flew to Michigan out of Great Plains, New York, which we’d never done before, usually leaving from LaGuardia, JFK or Newark. It was fine, though much smaller than what we’re used to. I found it charming. Aaron didn’t love it, but our flight was smooth and fast, with no troubles.

Aaron’s mother, Mary Ellen, and her longtime boyfriend Mark, picked us up from the airport, as they often do. They let us borrow Mary Ellen’s car but we went to a restaurant together. The food was good and the company was great. I was happy to be with them and happy to be back in Michigan. I love Michigan. It isn’t home anymore, but it is packed with memories and many people that I adore. We headed to our hotel. I toyed with going out but decided to stay in as I can get worn out pretty easily and we had a lot planned. I read a bit before bed – and I slept well, which isn’t surprising as I’d gotten up very early. Oh…and as I was off the medication that had been crushed in the mail, I was sick all day.

On Thursday (June 25, 2026), the pharmacy let me by purchase 7 days worth of my meds out of pocket. My online pharmacy was supposed to have sent me more but they never sent a tracking number so I figured it was delayed. Aaron went to the rehearsal for his cousin’s wedding. Meanwhile, my sister Janice picked me up and then our father (with my nephew Jordan along for the adventure), taking us to Aubree’s Pizzeria & Grill (the same place I’d gone the day before). Our cousin Joy and her partner Nate joined us as well. A fun time was had by all. After we parted ways with Joy and Nate, Janice took Jordan to Kroger to get groceries and then we dropped him off, followed by our father soon after.

Janice took me to pick up Aaron’s dry cleaning for the wedding and then we headed out for Mooreville to visit with Grandma (Frances Phillips), our step-father (Douglas L. Canell) and our Aunt Marge White. I took lots of pictures of the countryside on our way from Ann Arbor; I’ve always thought it was beautiful there, but I didn’t start taking pictures of it until after I moved to New York.

I had such a wonderful visit with my family.

Janice drove me back to my hotel. I got ready for bed. I read more of my book and slept well again.

To Be Continued…

Today’s journal entry song quote is from “Pink Pony Club” from the 2023 debut studio album by the American singer-songwriter Chappell Roan, “The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess”.

“I knew then it would be a life long thing…”

I slept well. Another morning of Aaron cuddles. We spoke to Mary Ellen, my sister Janice and my grandmother Frances for Mother’s Day. And I went for a walk. 8th Day outside in a row! I walked to the grocery store for salad dressing and picked up a few other items, all healthier than I sometimes do, and I wasn’t even tempted for sweets or chips. That’s not always the case. Aaron cleaned up a bunch of stuff that only he could do and we just seem to be having a nice day.

On my walk, I listened to a mix of Tori Amos songs, and I put on the Tori shirt that Sean gave me 25 years ago. It was just 10 minutes or so of giving him a moment. It was nice. Respectful. Healing. Sometimes I need to do that with people I’ve lost along the way.

UNBECOMING:

I don’t know who I am anymore.
I don’t know who I am anymore.
I don’t know who I am anymore.
Perhaps I never knew.

I know I’m alive when we are together
but when I’m alone that’s not true.

I’m struggling and flailing
just learning to breathe
searching for clues and for answers.

The truth is I’ve died now
(so many times now)
Perhaps all that’s left are the ashes.

I’m strong and I’m brave
(at least that’s what friends say)
I exist so perhaps they are right.

But the pain that I feel
as I struggle to heal
overwhelms me until I must write.

The nightmares are cursed
but the visions are worse
because comforting lies can still soothe me.

And I fear I won’t ask..
How long can dreams last?
One day my dreams might consume me.

But I don’t want to leave
so I struggle to breathe
and I reach out to family and friends.

I try to learn skills
but the timing still kills
and I know that everything ends.

Written by Jason Wright
July 19, 2013

FALLING TO PIECES

I was pushed from a height
and I plummeted downward…

I shattered to pieces
yet I travelled onward,

And the night that I met you
was desperate and magic…

A ghost of myself;
my death had been tragic…

I walked through the cold;
could not have been bolder…

And one of my murderers
cried on my shoulder.

But you crossed my path
though we’d met before…

In a time I can’t fathom
or begin to explore…

For that October night
eclipsed all the others…

And you took me home
though we weren’t even lovers.

You sparked something there
that I could not perceive,

Igniting a flame
that I could not believe,

A fire that warmed
what had threatened to freeze me,

Desire that formed
over time as you freed me.

We were friends
with a sparkle
of laughter and lust…

We grew to be more
as we developed our trust…

And friends became lovers
and partners and family…

You’re in my blood;
in my breath;
you’re inside me.

You’re part of me now
and I don’t want to lose you…

I don’t want to doubt,
disrespect or abuse you…

I don’t want to hurt you
or take you for granted…

I’m conscious of this
and I need to be candid…

I’ve loved you for years now
and yet I’m still falling…

Still falling in love with
no signs of stalling…

Will we crash at the bottom
or land on our feet?

All I know is that
falling with you I’m complete.

Written by Jason Wright
April 13, 2013

For: Aaron Sanko

Life and Survival

In two-thousand-nine
my life was sublime…

Feeling finally whole
after such a long time…

But it wasn’t to last
and it wasn’t to stay…

I learned to survive
and forgot how to play.

Survival is fine
when that’s all you’ve got…

In two-thousand-ten
that mattered a lot…

But just hanging on
isn’t really like living…

Just understanding
is not like forgiving.

In twenty-eleven
my world fell apart…

I lost all that mattered
to me and my heart…

Yet still I survived
as a ghost of myself…

Until love brought me back:
I became someone else.

And that someone else
left in twenty-and-twelve…

And I left life behind
that I could save myself…

But there’s life and survival
and I’m caught in-between…

Perhaps I’ll choose life
in twenty-thirteen.

Written by Jason Wright
Tuesday, March 5, 2013

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