“I’m Down to My Skin and Bone”

This week has been tough. I’ve never done well with the change of the seasons and that’s what this week has felt like to me. Cooler weather can be fun, but we’re in that odd zone where if I go out side and I wear too little, I’m very cold, and if I wear just a little too much, I sweat profusely. Blah. I’m not a fan. But I’ll adjust. I always do.

The pain from my minor surgery on the 18th intensified on Tuesday the 22nd & Wednesday the 23rd, but seemed to disappear completely on the Thursday 24th, and remained gone for most of Friday the 25th before returning that night. Not so bad as it was but not as good as before. We’ll see how it goes today.

I got out for another walk on Wednesday, but I didn’t feel like walking to the park so I walked to an grocery store on Broadway that I used to get my food at every week, for years, only it’s not been years since I stepped into the place. I was curious what the prices were for foods that I usually have delivered these days, and it did seem to suggest that my deliveries are a bargain. I wore my old Hellraiser shirt that I bought in the 90s from Middle Earth in Ann Arbor, Michigan. My friends Paul & Darla had both gotten the same shirt from there. I’m still in touch with Paul and Darla, and Darla says she thinks she still has this shirt too, but Middle Earth has been gone for years.

Outside the grocery store there was an open patch in the sidewalk with flowers growing – which isn’t uncommon in New York. But what is very uncommon, is for those flowers to be Sunflowers. Giant yellow sunshine. We used to have have them growing in our garden on our farm in Michigan and seeing them here in the city made me smile.

I took the long way home, past one of the impressive churches in The Heights. When I got home I showered, and later put on a long sleeve shirt because the bedroom was chilly. Aaron said that I looked cute.

On Thursday I chopped up more Zucchini for our smoothies. It’s weird. A few months ago I’d never had a zucchini and now I have some every day. I can’t say that I crave them, because I don’t taste them at all, but I do like that I get nutrients from the various foods that I eat now, including this one.

Later I went for another walk, to another grocery store and compared prices again. Then, as before, I walked here and there. I ended up at 168th and took the train back to 181st, where I bought some whole wheat pita bread. On the train, a young woman approached me. When people come at me in public I still have this urge to put my guard up, because when people did this in Michigan they were invariably rude. In New York, when people approach me it is always with a compliment. This woman said she was sorry for staring but that my eyeliner was incredible and could I tell her what I use. I thanked her for the compliment and told her that I didn’t know what brand it was because I never pay attention. I buy 3 or 4 eyeliners from a beauty shop less than a block from where I live (she knew the one as soon as I listed my address) and I get that many because they don’t let you buy 1 with a credit card. I told her that I suspect it’s just practice, because I’m old. lol But I wished I’d had a brand to give her as I feel like I didn’t give her anything in value in return for the compliment, other than my thanks. Maybe I made her smile, and that’s something.

I was annoyed most of that day. The season finale of Strange New Worlds is out and the re-release of Avengers: Endgame (Encore), which has new footage and I’d been looking forward to both for months. We initially had plans to see both but I cancelled the Avengers due to my pain levels a few days before – and now I was painless, but having to dodge spoilers, which I hate doing. And SNW, has been so aimless the last few seasons that I’ve started to dread watching it, but the season finale is something I’ve been looking forward to – but to get there, I need to find time to watch 2 other episodes with Aaron and I just didn’t feel up to it. So, minor annoyances, but annoyances none the less. We have tickets to see Avengers: Endgame: Encore on at 1pm today and we can also try to get through Trek.

Friday I felt frazzled. Worn out. Low energy. I’d maintained weight – which is to say, that I hadn’t lost any, but that’s I’d also not gained any, which felt odd. Like I was treading water, or like nothing I was doing mattered. I’d actually gained some weight early in the week, which was annoying, but then I’d lost some of it…but now…nothing. The weather wasn’t fun and, after waking up at 3am, I worked on my website for something like 12 hours with no breaks. I just lost myself in working on a Star Wars viewing order, which is frustrating because I don’t want to share it until it is done, and it’s just taking a lot of time and energy, which I didn’t suspect. I have all these things as Google Sheets, but putting all that information into a new format is tricky and time consuming and my photoshop program was fucking with me for some reason. It was obnoxious. In the end I cranked out a page for the 4 Cat People films so I could post something, and then watched the season premiere of American Horror Story (S13E01 “13”) which was fine, but I feel like this season (which seems just as uneven as most of Ryan Murphy’s work) will land better if I re-watch what I’ve seen (“Freak Show”, “Asylum”, “NYC”, “Roanoke”, “Murder House” + bits of “1984”, “Hotel”, “Double Feature”, “Delicate”, & “Apocalypse”) and also watch what I’ve missed (preferably in the new order I’ve come up with) – as it’s essentially a sequel to everything else they’ve already done. I just don’t know that I can get through all of that. Later, my pain returned. Not as bad as before, but worse than it was. I played some Zelda, (which I’ve been finding very relaxing), read a bit and then went to sleep.

I woke up a few times but got back to sleep. I finally got up around 6am. I weighed myself and was very surprised to see that I’d lost weight again. I would have thought it was the reverse. But I’m actually lower than I have been in years. Again. I don’t like how my mood is so easily affected by my weight. I’ve never been like this. I mean, for years I struggled to keep weight on, and now that I’m losing it, with much more success than others that are close to me, I should be happier. I feel accomplished, but I also don’t really understand some of it. This week, my energy hasn’t been as good as it has at other times in this journey – I’ve exercised less. So I’m not clear how I’m losing weight. I guess I did have a lot of snacks last week, which I’ve mostly curtailed this week, but I wouldn’t imagine it having such a huge effect. I’m at a loss. I don’t understand. And I’d like to understand. I think if I understood how this all worked I could obsess over it less.

Today’s journal entry song quote is from “Ease”, a song by Australian singer Troye Sivan, from his 2015 first studio album “Blue Neighborhood”, which I purchased the day it was released, having randomly discovered his 2014 EP “Happy Little Pill”, which quickly became a favorite. I really only knew him as the kid who’d played James “Logan” Howlett, aka Wolverine, in the 2009 film “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”. But I liked what I heard and I quickly became a fan. I heard something that reminded me of him the other day and I’ve been listening to “Blue Neighborhood” while I’ve been walking this week; it makes me nostalgic for traveling around Manhattan, because I used to listen to it on the train a lot. I don’t usually just play a single song from the album, I usually listen to the whole thing, so it was difficult picking one today, as they’re all sort of swirling in my head. Music gets stuck in my head all the time – sometimes to a degree that annoys me. I’m sure that others experience this, but I also think that most people don’t have this nearly constant soundtrack going on in there heads, or maybe not to the same degree. It feels like a problem. Intrusive thoughts. Ugh.

“This Is Where We Used To Live”

Sunday, August 30, 20026. I went to sleep last night (Saturday, August 29) around 11pm after being crazy tired and reading maybe a page or two of my book. I woke up twice. I managed to get back to sleep. My dreams were dull. Aaron and I took over a bar / gas station / restaurant and he gave me a jukebox that only took cassette tapes and .45 records. The gift was shared with one of his lovesick lines about me, which always make me smile. Jennifer Clemente stopped through, buying those collectible bobbleheads? There was more that I don’t remember. At the end I was driving, following directions, and I made a wrong turn, ending up on a recurring nightmare image that I’ve not seen in a long time, in which I go over a bridge which is so tall and that I get frightened as I drive up the first side of it. I pulled over in the dream and walked back down.

I woke around 6. Got back to sleep again, briefly, woke up at 7. Got up. Made a blueberry zucchini smoothie. I added too much almond milk, but it’s fine. I’ll finish getting ready pack up the things I needed to use this morning. And I need the uber to pick me up in about 2 hours.

The Uber was easy and early. My bag was 7 lbs heavy and cost $100. I paid with Amazon card but know now in future to always use American Express as they reimburse us. I would have tried but the card had failed several times this week, even after Aaron said he fixed it. I used it to by snacks (after I breezed through security): mixed salted nuts, Smart Water and plantain chips. I went to the Sky Club to chill with a vodka neat. I called my father (David), my grandmother and my cousin Linda. My flight started boarding at 12:15, which is when I got onboard. Though I don’t “look like it”, I’m legally disabled and I always worry about not having enough time to get settled so I always board early and I’ve only been hassled about it once, by another passenger, and I called them out on their bullshit, loudly. The flight was calm. The man sitting next to me was a giant, tall and muscular, had to raise the armrest between us to sit down, but he wasn’t unruly, and mostly slept.

Detroit Metro was like coming home, which I suppose it is. I’ve now flown there so often that I know my way around pretty well. I knew right where to go and what to do. And Aunt Marge was on time. She got me to Mooreville and I got to visit with Grandma, Janice, Jill, Marge & Mike, Linda, Marion, Joy and Nate. Mary Ellen stopped in to drop the car off and was thrilled about her farm fresh tomatoes. I left as soon as decency (and Joy) would allow. I was tired and hungry and aching for a shower, but also nervous about driving after so long, getting groceries before the store closed, getting checked into my hotel, and unloading everything on my own before I could relax, shower, eat and unwind…but I did all those things. It took me awhile to get to sleep and I woke a few times but I slept more often than not.

Side note: Joy. My cousin has been going through something. I’m not sure what it is, but I feel like it must be grief. Both her father Dwight and step-father Marvin died in December. It makes sense that she would be grieving and I hope that’s all it is, but I’ve spoken to her many times in the last few months and she always sounds stoned. She calls at all hours and it’s very difficult to hold a conversation with her. She’s not cruel. She’s very nostalgic and sweet! But she doesn’t respect my time or my boundaries at all. I’ve also now seen her in person twice this summer and both times I’m sure she was on drugs. This last time she annoyed several people who were there (as I was later told) and she lied to my face. She recorded a video of a very sensitive conversation. I asked at the time if she was recording and she said no. I know she actually did record it because she sent me the video. It starts with me asking if she’s recording and her lie to me that she isn’t. When I called her on this behavior she said I was being mean. She also played loud music when others were trying to speak and I later learned that she stayed at my 95 year old grandmother’s home until after 10pm, despite one of the concerns of my visit being that we might keep grandma awake too long. That’s far from the whole thing, but it’s enough. I worry that there might be something psychologically going on with her, some sort of mental illness. Sometimes people are compared to children as an insult, but several people who spoke of her behavior after compared her to a child and I could tell, they weren’t trying to be dismissive or insulting, she really did behave like a child would. The lie about the video sounded like something a 3 year old might do, thinking they were being clever. She’s 52. I was angry about the lie, but more than anything, I’m just really worried about her. I reached out to a relative closer to her who might be better equipped to help and also, just to see if I was overreacting, but not only did they agree that my concerns were valid, they had different but similar experiences that mine added context too. So I hope this works itself out. I’m not sure what else I can do. I don’t live there. And I don’t think talking to her about it will help at all. She’s told me things that she should be communicating to a doctor. Her mother, who I also adore, is surely also grieving the deaths of her husband and ex-husband, so I didn’t feel right reaching out to her. I really hope I’m worrying over nothing. I just don’t think that I am.

Monday, August 31.

Joy sent me the video this morning but I’ve explained that already.

I was up and ready when Aaron and Bernard arrived. It was wonderful to see them. Bernard had injured his thumb somehow, and on their trip to Michigan, they’d spoken to Bernard’s mother who was extremely weak; they had an ambulance take her to hospital and Bernard left to join her right away.

Aaron and I decided to stay in and relax. It was raining and we’d both had some stressful days, and we didn’t really have any plans for the day. I tried to set something up with Darla for Tuesday but she’s come down with a cold. Jennifer wanted to see us so we’re going to have Aaron’s haircut appointment at 3. Then we’ll pick up Jennifer from the V.A. Hospital in Detroit for some dinner before we take her home. Aaron’s sister may join us as well. Jennifer will actually be in the New York area when we get home so we may get to see her twice in 1 month, in 2 different States. Oh, and we’re meeting my dad and Janice Wednesday evening. And when we’re in town for Aaron’s appointment, we will likely stop by his mom’s to pick up some stuff we need for camping. Bedtime.

Tuesday, September 1, 2026. I struggled to sleep. I woke up several times. The air doesn’t really cool down much in the bedroom, which is where I like it to be cool. We bought a fan, which helped a little.

When I did get up, at 9, I felt relatively well rested. And I got up and had a smoothie. Aaron told me that Bernard fractured his thumb and that his dear sweet momma had sepsis and was basically comatose now. The news seemed to get worse throughout the day, though we tried to make the best of it. I shaved and showered while the news poured in. Later, Aaron took me over to see where I used to live on Longshore Drive & Wright Street. This is where I lived when I met Aaron. Then we went to the place he had lived when I met him.

The prognosis for Miss Peggy improved. They discovered the cause of her infection was an untreated kidney stone and performed a procedure to remove it. They also learned what kind of bacteria was causing her trouble, which allowed them to more effectively treat her exact condition. This made everything in the day feel far more hopeful.

We went to Detroit to see Jenna Drudi, Aaron’s fantastic hair stylist from days gone by, and we all got along famously. It was great to hear all their fun stories. She has a fucking amazing voice. She really needs to do a podcast!

Soon after we met Aaron’s sister Tristan for dinner at Ottava Via, in the historic Corktown neighborhood. The vibe was mostly chill (until later when it got very crowded), the food was delicious and the company was exquisite. Jennifer Clemente was planning on joining us but had to cancel as she was working late. We made plans to see her the following night.

After the dinner we parted ways and met up with Bernard and “Andy Pandy” at a spare apartment he owns? Bernard and Aaron worked on legal details concerning Bernie’s mother and plans of care. Andy and I chit-chatted, having met briefly in 2012 but never really talking. We had about as much fun as we could under the circumstances and I shared several of my viewing orders with Andy. And then Aaron I headed back to the hotel, stopping to get a few things from Meijer.

Wednesday, September 2. We tried to return items to Amazon via several locations but the struggle was real! Then we stopped by Mary Ellen’s for camping supplies before heading over to pick up my father and meeting Janice, Jordan and Jennifer for dinner. Earlier I had a spinach feta wrap from Starbucks, which quickly became a favorite of mine. I’d had a couple of them back in 2012 but my stomach couldn’t handle them at the time – it seems to be doing better now. I had a bit of a panic attack in the car having to do with something that happened a few years ago, which was brought forward by unexpected news. But I think I managed relatively well, grounding, talking to Aaron. I’ll need to talk to my therapist about that at our next appointment. Dinner went better than expected. Janice had also noticed Joy’s bizarre behavior. I think I steered the tone from “Joy is behaving like this and it’s annoying” to “Joy has been behaving like this for months, I think something bigger is going on and now we’re all very concerned”. Jennifer got to meet my dad. I got to speak to Jordan. Everyone got along. I sat between Janice and Dad, across from Aaron, who sat between Jordan and Jennifer.

On Thursday September 3rd, packing up the car for the camping trip was a nightmare. We had way too much stuff. The drive to the campground was stressful because of a storm we drove through, but otherwise the trip was fun. Not too long, listening to Good Hang. When we arrived we had to wait for a family of deer to move. Jesse, Mark and Mary Ellen were all in the office, checking in at the same time. We got situated. I was surprised to see Lisa, Andrew and Lindsey all arrive on Thursday as well. I think Jenn and her daughters were both there that day also? It’s a blur now. We didn’t do campfires that night; everyone was tired.

I’m not going to post all the pictures or talk about everything we did. It was a lot. And lots of people that I love were there. They know who they are – so if I miss anyone, it’s just that I’m very tired, so I’m going to rush this last part!

Friday, September 4, we spent time with family. Emily and Zach arrived that day. Tristan, Jasper and Mark Mora arrived that day, as did Andrew’s friends Sandy and John. Jasper fell in love with Sandy at the campfire that night. All was well. My cousin Chris arrived. I think Jocelyn (who lives in Iowa), Lisa’s cousin, also arrived that day. Saturday, September 5 we went kayaking, and I made my first solo trip, figuring it was some good exercise and a fun experience, which it was, though I was tired after. I also started coming down with a cold, or at least I noticed that I was. Tristan, Jasper and Mark Mora left that day. Chris stayed one more night but left in the morning. I mostly hibernated on Sunday, September 6. I made it known I had a cold and that I just wanted to keep everyone free of my germs. We did go to town for cough drops and pizza. I slept okay. But several others (Aaron, Liam, Lindsey, Andrew & later Chris) had cold symptoms as well, so it was going around. Most people left Monday, including Jesse though he left later in the day than most. Tuesday we headed out of Michigan, not stopping at Grandma’s, to keep her safe from the cold we both had. We stopped for the night in Altoona, Pennsylvania, and drove the last 5 hours or so home to New York today, arriving home around 2pm.

We unpacked and tried to relax. We ordered some groceries. Later, Aaron and I watched another episode of Strange New Worlds Season 4, as we were 3 episodes behind and would have been 4 episodes behind tomorrow. Unfortunately, we both really hated this episode (S04E05 “Level-Five Transporter Accident”) and we are both extremely disappointed in this series, which had a promising first couple of seasons, but Seasons 3 & 4 have been progressively worse. There are only 11 more episodes of this series, but it is really bad. I’m hoping the series improves before the end, but unfortunately, it will never be remotely close to what I had hoped it could be. Which, it’s not the creatives job to meet my expectations…we’re just really bummed that Star Trek seems to be ending this era with a whimper, rather than the bang that, again, we’d hoped for.

Aaron just went to bed. I should go to bed but I’m also a bit hyper and there’s so much I want to work on, so we’ll see where I end up.

Today’s journal entry title song quote is from “The Old Apartment” by the Canadian alternative rock group Barenaked Ladies, from their 1996 third full-length studio album, “Born on a Pirate Ship”. I’m not a huge fan of the band myself, but my partner loves them and once skipped school to score tickets to one of their shows. I’ve also had this song stuck in my head since we actually did go see our old apartments, so this seemed appropriate.

Holding You Until the Sunrise”

I did go right to bed after the last crazy entry. I finished a chapter of “The Downing Girl”. I’ve read it so many times already that part of me feels like there’s no need to finish it this time, and yet I’ve struggled so much with finishing books in the last year that part of me feels it is very important. And I do love this book. Truly. The one thing I don’t like about it as that the narrator repeats sections of the books at least a few times, and so having now read the book something like 15 times, I’ve read those passages 30 times, so I’m a little sick of those bits. lol But it’s my own fault! lol

I slept about 6 hours. Later I took a very brief but very restful nap before getting ready to go to IKEA with Aaron to get a new chair. In the meantime I had a long overdue chat with my old pal Darla DeCook, which was lovely. I’ve lost many people over the years – I mean, they’re dead – so having the luxury or reconnecting with someone is especially appreciated. We’ve both had a rough go of it at times, but we’re both still here. Hopefully we’ll have a phone call or Zoom or whatever in our near future.

I wore crazy earrings today, which were fun – and well received. On the way to and from IKEA, Aaron and I called his mom, his Aunt Karen, his Aunt Denice, his cousin Andrew and Jennifer Clemente. Not everyone answered, but everyone that did was delightful. Jennifer traded texts with me until later when we caught up on the phone while I drank a blueberry smoothie.

After chatting with Jennifer for a bit, about Tap Dancing Lessons, The Lost Boys Broadway musical and Spider-Noir (which she’s watching and I’ve been meaning to start) we said goodnight and I went for a walk where I met up with my friend Christopher Tefft for a brief walkabout while he got food. He was EXHAUSICATED, the poor thing. We might go to a bar together next week. I like that I’m getting out more and trying to connect. It doesn’t always work, but it has been happening more frequently. I also made tentative plans to go to a writers group with Isaiah tomorrow. I have therapy at 1pm. And Wednesday Aaron and I have eye doctor appointments. I will try to juggle these things while further exploring my ever evolving relationship with Aaron, sex, poetry, music, and perhaps dancing. I miss dancing. I dance at home but it’s not the same.

The Party That Wasn’t

Four of us there;
though it’s hard to believe:
Bald Jason, Paul
and Darla and Steve.

The latter I stripped
in Ann Arbor fountain
before baring flesh
pressing into his bottom;
concealing our pact
(which they labeled obscene)
and that this healing act
had in fact made us clean.

The nerve that in public
made time seem to end:

Perving the lovesick
with crime through the lens
of twenty-one years
flashing by in a blur…

The party that wasn’t
for the people we were.

A moment of lust
that had built beyond reason,
Momentous trust
in the shadow of treason,
A moment of courage
acknowledged and shared,
Encouraged by touch
though we weren’t prepared
for the judgment of strangers
and friends left outside,
as we puzzled through riddles
with longing our guide,
But licentious struggles
are seldom rewarded,
For all our successes
we may have been thwarted…
For the world gazed in fear
as if love were contagious…
Our fumbled premiere
saw us stumble toward greatness.

Written by Jason Wright
September 20, 2017

THE PARTY THAT NEVER WAS

Like whispers in the dark
corrupted coven of my youth

The matrix of our lives;
a subtle subterfuge of truth

The damage of desire;
a curse both brilliant and Orwellian…

For nothing can save the damned
but the crucible of rebellion.

Our covenant
was destroying us

A sacrifice
was our need

But high is the price of redemption
and all of us would have to bleed…

But someone would have to begin this quest
into the dreaded evermore…

I was the perfect choice for this mission
because I had bled before.

In the fountain of repression
where the battle was about to begin,

I took my cue from another
and surrendered to unholiest sin,

The pain and the pleasure mingled
as they stripped away inhibitions,

And I understood in that moment
the consequences of our decisions.

The danger of destruction
heightened experience beyond any other,

At last we could face the truth of our pact;
we could finally LOVE one another,

And we understood that this blasphemous act
could save or destroy us all,

But nothing could destroy this moment in time;
nothing could make us fall.

Our clothing was torn asunder
in order to change the coven’s fate,

But still the question remained:
Were we in time or were we too late?

In our minds we’d fucked each others’ souls
in our orgy of repressed lust…

Our symbolic salvation:
Eternal damnation
or renewal of friendship and trust?

The surviving coven members
were a breed both tempered and pure,

Defeating disaster and embracing desire
that no power could destroy or inter…

Sex was our drug and deliverer of choice;
denial our insanity cure…

And so this was The Party That Never Was
for the lovers that we never were.

Written by Jason Wright
July 6, 1996


For Paul, Steve and Darla –
and all of the other coven members who couldn’t make it to the party, because it never happened.

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