I slept well. I made good time on my way to my doctor’s office. I took the A train from 181st to Columbus Circle (59th), then I walked to 55th and headed East to the Preston Robert Tisch Center for Men’s Health, where many of my doctors practice, including my G.I. Specialist (who I saw today), my therapist, who I generally see weekly via telemedicine / video chat, and one of my two primary care physicians. I’ve also seen migraine specialists there, one psychiatrist appointment and a few other odds and ends.
A man exiting the building as I entered complimented me on my Concrete Blonde shirt. I’ve gotten several compliments on the shirts I wear at this location, often by doctors. Aaron had a doctor there that helped him with some back problems; his doctor approached me when I was there on my own (and didn’t know that I even knew Aaron) and complimented me on a vintage Hellraiser shirt that I had worn that day. Anyways, the compliment surprised me and made me feel good. The doctor I saw today always amuses me. He’s very funny, very fast, and he thinks and speaks very quickly – which he knows and and has used to his advantage in is career. He’s quirky. I like him. And he’s friends with my therapist who works on the same floor.
I took a slightly different route home, walking along the bottom of Central Park. I spoke to my grandmother on the phone and tried to describe the park and the buildings I was walking by. I took photos. When I got home I chilled, hydrated and had a couple of fun conversations with my cousin Katie, and I traded texts with Nathan. I was going to go to choir tonight but I’m getting a headache and my stomach is not great, and Aaron just left. Maybe if the headache and stomach issues improve I’ll catch a train down to the practice, but I’m not sure if Aaron has my music or not, so maybe it’s best to just stay home – but I would have liked to have seen everyone.
Oh. And I’ve now been outside 17 days in a row!
Today’s title quote comes from “Don’t Wait For Us” by the French indie-pop band BLOW. It is the second track on their self-titled debut EP.
I got quite a lot done on my Multiverse Saga draft for this place. Then I noticed that our home was verging on cluttered again, and started to clean. I cleaned the living room and the office, and then I started cleaning the bedroom, which I didn’t think to take before pictures of, but trust me, it looks so much better. I think I threw away 20 bags of things that will never fit me again if I’m lucky. I know that I’ve said that I want to lose weight, but much of this was stuff I saved from when I was thinner than was healthy for me to be, which I hope to avoid in future. Again, I’m trying to find balance.
After I finished with the living room and office I had a salad. 05-07-26.
I ate relatively well. I had some less balanced meals towards the end (a slice of pizza with chia seeds and then some chips) but earlier in the day I had a salad and later some kiwi. When I cleaned the bedroom I did hold onto a few pieces that have sentimental value – even as I threw out many, many more things that I’ve felt too attached to, to let go of in the past. The only thing that I really struggled with is this purple shirt, which an ex-bf left in my bedroom the last time I saw him before he joined the military. He’s alive, as far as I know. I mean, I’ve seen him since then, but he was a dick then and a dick much later on, which is why we’re not in touch. But when he left that first time I was in love with him, and I held onto this shirt for a long time because it smelled like him. It doesn’t anymore and I can see this past relationship more clearly now, but the memory of needing that shirt with me at the time, it lingers, and no matter how much I tell myself that this is stupid, and I should let it go, I haven’t been able to yet. But everything else I either outright wanted or just plainly didn’t need anymore.
Bedroom clean. You couldn’t see the floor near my closet when I started and there were so many clothes that they didn’t fit in said closet. The rack on the back of the door was also full, as was my night stand.
After all that I showered. Then I got dressed and took a fast walk around the block. It’s not far. But the point of doing it is to move and also to get outside, which has been challenging for me for about 6 years now. But this marked 5 consecutive days that I’ve gotten out, mostly of my own volition, and even when Aaron gave me a ride or something, I headed out on my own to other places. This is actual progress. I’ve not been out 5 consecutive days in…a very long time. So that felt good.
A poorly thought out photo that I snapped while waiting for the elevator. 05-07-26
Later still, some clothes that I ordered recently arrived. New underwear and socks. New boots. And 2 pairs of shorts. There’s more on the way. And I didn’t take pictures of the underwear / socks, even though those are cute too. I keep trying to get myself to buy more clothes, but I hate shopping. Oh – and everything fits!
Travis’s purple shirt. The new shorts and boots. 05-07-26.
I’m winding down now. getting ready for bed. I like going to bed early. Very early or very late. I guess I’m extreme? I’d like to get more work done on my site. I’d also like to order those clothes. And maybe see about seeing a specialist for a problem I’ve been struggling with for decades, but that last part might require Aaron’s assistance. I’m getting a lot better at being more independent, but sometimes I need help, and that’s okay. I mean, I did all the heavy lifting myself today!
Oh. And I read more of my Star Trek book, which is slowly taking shape. But just as has happened many times in my life before, I was tempted today to start a whole new series, which I’m trying to resist. I’d really like to finish a book. I used to do this quite often, but in the last few years, holding my attention has been pretty difficult. I was reading the Wicked Years and the spin-offs but when the author announced more were on the way, I stopped. I’ve not finished a book since. I think that was in 2024 but it may have been 2025. I don’t know.
Okay. I’m starting to get my thoughts jumbled which means I really should go to bed now.
