“I’m a Lonely One”

Sunday and Monday I watched more television. I also had my teeth cleaned. The above image is of me in my dentist’s office at 827 11th Avenue in Manhattan. I slept well the night before and dreamed of Lestat, which I caught up on the day before and I’ve come to the conclusion that I love it. I also caught up on X-Men ’97, continued where I left off with X-Men: The Animated Series and watched 2 episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation with Aaron.

Here’s what I watched:

Star Trek: The Next Generation S03E06 Booby Trap
Star Trek: The Next Generation S03E07 The Enemy

X-Men S03E08 Savage Land, Strange Heart – Part 1
X-Men S03E09 Savage Land, Strange Heart – Part 2
X-Men ’97 S02E03 Rise of Apocalypse – Part 1

The Vampire Lestat S01E04 The Devil’s Road
The Vampire Lestat S01E05 New York

TNG S03E06 “Booby Trap”. I had remembered this episode as a bit cringey as Geordie LaForge stumbles in love and forms an odd and nearly romantic relationship with a hologram, but I remembered nothing of the rest of the episode. Aaron said the same thing and we were entertained by the episode. It marks the first appearances of Julie Warner as Christy Henshaw and Susan Gibney as the holographic (and later real world) version of Dr. Leah Brahms; Gibney also later portrays Commander / Captain Erika Benteen in 2 episodes of DS9.

I always remember TNG S03E07 “The Enemy” as an episode that my sister Janice saw before I did, and how she spoke of it. The episode marks the first appearance of Andreas Katsulas as Tomalak, who later returns in the role at least twice, though they’re not really him, per say, if I remember correctly, one being an illusion and another being an alternate future take. Both of these episodes feature Colm Meaney as Miles O’Brien. It’s nice to see the recurring cast start to come together here and Season 3 really does feel like where the series starts to gel. And while that’s the common wisdom among fans, in retrospect, its insane that it took more than 50 episodes for the series to really get reliably good, especially since most of the series of the current era ever reach that number of episodes at all, with only Lower Decks and Discovery making 50 or more; Lower Decks ended with 50 while Discovery ended with 65.

The X-Men episodes, the “Savage Land, Strange Heart” 2-part story is unlikely to be anyone’s favorite, but I thought some of the writing was really clever (“Who died and made you Cyclops?”) and I appreciated the explanation of Sauron’s origin. I just don’t care about the Savage Land in general.

The X-Men ’97 episode continues the winning streak of this series. I’ve never X-Men stories featuring Apocalypse, so I’ve been dreading this new season, but so far I’ve loved all of it. If it were only Apocalypse, I’d probably be bored, but the thing about X-Men ’97 is that it feels like the big payoff for all the stories that came in the previous Animated Series – with fewer episodes, they don’t seem to hold anything back, and it’s all the better for it.

The Vampire Lestat episodes really knocked it out of the park for me. Things that I doubted about the season came into focus, both with the parts that were adapted from various Anne Rice novels, and others that are wholly original to this interpretation of the material. Very impressive. This season, and the series as a whole is probably best in a binge model vs. a weekly layout. I believe the Immortal Universe shows play out like this:

01 Interview with the Vampire Season 1: Part I
02 Interview with the Vampire Season 2: Part II
03 Mayfair Witches Season 1
04 Mayfair Witches Season 2
05 Mayfair Witches Season 3 ?
06 Talamasca: The Secret Order
07 Interview with the Vampire Season 3: The Vampire Lestat

The present day scenes in the first 2 seasons of Interview seem to be set over 11 days in 2022, ending shortly after the publication of the book in 2023. Season 2 of Mayfair Witches references the publication of the book and features a guest spot by a vampire introduced in Season 2 of Interview. Talamasca is set after the publication of the book with guest spots by a few characters; a later episode may feature a Lestat tune. Season 3, The Vampire Lestat seems to be set 2025.

Having said all of that, the only series I can wholeheartedly recommend is Interview / Lestat. Talamasca comes close to being very good at times but never quite arrives IMO, and from what I’ve seen of Mayfair Witches, it is a horrible adaptation of The Lives of the Mayfair Witches series (which are my favorite Anne Rice books, along with “Cry to Heaven”) and the series also features some truly dreadful “acting”. I may go back to it at some point, just so I can say I saw everything.

Today’s journal title song quote is from “All Fall Down”, theme from “The Vampire Lestat”, performed by Sam Reid as Lestat de Lioncourt.

The Whale Trilogy

1

Pain radiates
through smoothly shaven flesh,

Unseen skull
in burning wrapping paper,

I skitter to share
what it seeks to prevent…

The years are a bitch
and I ache to betray her…

For words in this gloaming
are enabled by night…

Even when tinged
with the heartbreak of sorrow…

Thoughts freely roaming
until morning sight…

Might seem unhinged
come the light of tomorrow.

2

There was a morning, a day, a hot afternoon
where I thought my life would change…
where my wandering
had finally altered my direction…
but it wasn’t meant to be.
Perhaps every day is like this for others…
but the day I am thinking of,
the day of sex before the sermon,
I believed that I’d finally arrived
somewhere I was meant to be,
only to learn across the years
that I would seldom ever return,
and I wish I would have known
how special that time was,
how precious those moments.

It’s altogether different
yet somehow the same
when watching you
watching whales…
when the music you share
nearly kills me with it’s mournful beauty –
giving me fever chills and death spasms
before my fever breaks
and I’m allowed to dance
in the trance of our shoegazing
dream pop.

In the fever
all that could comfort me
was the seemingly old
but younger woman
with the ghost on the porch…
An echo of that first reading
joining my pain across two different eras.

3

The first would have been discovery,
and on the very brink of puberty
as I stumbled through that sea of trees
to find a validating fiction.

And now the feeling: brotherly,
yet still cherry stink of nudity
as I’m humbled by our deities
to bind an animated friction.

And the proof
it is not fair
but the truth
is he’s out there
begging for money,
trading sex for drugs hungry
while the whales circle round us
tasting sweetly table scraps.

And the lie
if there is one
is that life
is a shotgun
because life hasn’t drowned us
baby please don’t go like that.

Written by Jason Wright
April 19, 2018

For Sean (Mobley) and Steve and Anthony.

Northbound (NSFW)

On the one train in Manhattan a song,
a lyric makes me think of San Francisco.

I’m shaving in Paul’s bathroom
while man I met at Radical Fairy drag party is watching me.

I’m nervous.
He’s so beautiful
and several years older than me;
he’s 30 & I’m 26.

It seemed like a lot then.
Maybe because the last guy I loved
was 9 years younger than him;
they had the same name.

I cut myself as I often did back then.
A tear of blood dripping down my face
and before I can react
blonde ken doll man moves in
and purposefully licks me clean.
Sacrament.

I remember wondering if he was crazy.
Blood. San Francisco.
I want to throw him against the wall
so I can penetrate him and understand.
Is there pain in his eyes or lust?
Possibly both.

I don’t remember what happened next
but the next song is beginning
and I imagine kissing him,
shaking him…

“Are you crazy?”
“Do you want to die?”

A side thought where I’m less sympathetic
and I give him the degradation I imagine him craving.
Strip. Kneel. Baptism in piss and cum.
Fucking him mercilessly.

The thought passes and I wonder at his state of mind.

He was newly out then and haunted by his past;
“But I’m a Cheerleader” was the wrong movie to watch;
it filled him with memories that made him sad.
I think he was reading “The Vampire Armand”;
I was reading “Merrick”.
His parent was seemingly gravely ill.
They called during our first sexual encounter
to request his presence at the hospital.
He talked them out of it.
I tried to talk him into it,
but instead he said “Damn” while I bit his nipple.
I remember telling him that his asshole tasted amazing
and then him asking if there were any that didn’t…
and I wonder if he ever found out?
A taste test with naked men all standing in a row.

He fucked me in that livingroom.
It was days later.
After he’d taken me to a leather bar and spoke of dangerous sex,
but nothing about the boyfriend he’d confess to later.
Devastating at the time.
I wanted to be his.
Just a crazy dream I guess.
Lies and dreams and strange encounters that I still cherish.

We’re friends on Facebook.
I don’t think of him often
and I’ve not seen him in person in over 14 years.

I’m 40 now and I’ve been fucked at least 6 times in the last week.
My partner is curious about why I’m so frenzied of late and I honestly don’t know;
I’m sure it’s nothing to do with this…
but past sexual encounters fill my thoughts of late.
This is but the latest example.

Walking from the train I ran up to my place to write this down.
I don’t know why.
It seems less important now.
I need to get groceries.

Written by Jason Wright
January 8, 2015

error: Content is protected !!