“You Just Might See A Ghost Tonight”

On May 13, Wednesday morning my therapist reached out and asked if we might meet at 1:50, rather than 2pm as she had another obligation. I agreed. Usually when I have something scheduled later in the day I don’t go out at all because I never know what will happen and I’m worried I’ll miss what I have planned, but it was expected to rain later and I really wanted to get outside again and to the park. I told myself not to worry because really I just needed to get outside and I didn’t have to go far. When I got outside I headed to Starbucks. I got a larger drink than what I usually get these days; I got an iced grande dirty soy chai and I guess from Tuesday’s trip that I could probably get to the park and home before my appointment. I walked to the park up Fort Washington. On Tuesday I had cut through the 181st Street station, which has an elevator that takes you up the hill I was now walking up, but it was fine. I walked by Bennett Park and nearly stopped there but I just kept going.

The weather was nicer than I expected and I was in a good mood. Fort Tryon Park has long been my favorite NYC park and it’s just so beautiful. I didn’t stay in the park long though, because again, there was an expectation of rain, an appointment I needed to attend, and along with all that, I inhaled a beautiful flowery scent that seemed to be lilacs, though I couldn’t see any – only for this to cause me to start coughing, which I couldn’t stop. I was very grateful that I got that beverage and that I’d barely sipped it on my walk because it helped on my way home. I had taken the A Train home the previous day as it’s part of my therapy to ride trains, but even though I felt up to walking I took the train for all the reasons I just listed for not staying in the park. It was the right call. I was able to get home, get cleaned up and prepare for my appointment, which went very well.

I didn’t go out after that. I just relaxed. I did watch the “The Punisher: One Last Kill”, which I enjoyed. It made me cry. It’s brutal but so is the character, and my only real complaints were that it felt too similar to earlier Punisher stories even if it made a point of taking the character in a new direction and that it had very few ties to any of the other Marvel stories featuring the character of late. But everything else was impressive and a counter argument could also be made for what was or wasn’t onscreen, so I think it works.

For the record, I think my preferred viewing order for 2027 set M.C.U. projects goes like this:

01 Daredevil: Born Again Season 1 (9 episodes)
02 Captain America: Brave New World
03 The Punisher: One Last Kill
04 The Fantastic 4: First Steps
05 Daredevil: Born Again Season 2 (8 episodes)
06 Thunderbolts*

I slept well, more or less Wednesday. I slept well into the morning, getting up around 9:30am. Aaron was gone for the day. Another report about rain on the way and lower temperatures, I again wanted to get to the park. I took the A train there and back as I wasn’t really dressed for the weather but didn’t want to change and I had some pain in my ankles, that comes and goes, which I plan on talking to my doctor about at our appointment next month. Again, I didn’t stay long at the park. It was more about getting outside. And this marked 13 days out in a row! So that was nice. And I later learned that I’ve lost a pound. That’s a big accomplishment for me. I’ve never once tried to lose weight before, so to see any success is really nice. And while it’s only a pound, I bet other health related things have also improved, given the changes in my diet and being more active.

Once I was home, I was home for the day. I later traded texts with Nathan, which is the first we’ve spoken since Sunday. We seem to be getting along, which is nice. I worked on my site a bit. I’m getting a lot done, but it’s all on stuff that I can’t display until it’s DONE and there’s still so much to do. That’s a little frustrating.

I slept well again. Very well. I also lingered in the bedroom for longer than I expected because Aaron begged me for cuddles. lol I had a smoothie when I finally stumbled out of bed. It’s sunny outside, which is nice. I don’t love being in the sun, but I prefer sunny to overcast.

I just found out I’m in a talent show tomorrow. Aaron says I should read a poem but I’m not sure which piece I should do. I’ll try to look that over, but I’m getting a migraine. That’s sucks, but it’s also been great not having any in several days, and this just means my medication is working. I used to have them nearly every day and the medication I take cuts whatever number you have in half, so I’m likely due for one. I’ll take something for it in a minute. I have so many things I want to do and work on today. We’ll see how that ends up.

We’re leaving for Florida next week. I knew it was happening but it’s creeped up on me all the same. Hopefully that goes well. I realized this morning I’d have to not work on my site while I’m there because my laptop is dead and I can’t take this computer with me (it’s huge) and I can’t really get a lot done via my phone. But Aaron just assured me that we’ll find something that works. He’s brilliant, so I don’t doubt that we’ll find an answer.

Okay. I should get moving.

Today’s lyric headline comes from the song “Emperor’s New Clothes” by Panic! At The Disco, from their 2016 album, “Death of a Bachelor”.

“Why Aren’t You Waking Me Up?”

I slept a lot but I had nightmares. Aaron and I were cleaning a large farm house and the surrounding area because we had relatives that were visiting, and a tornado hit. I was outside and saw the thing – which was several storms tied into one. My imagined storm was inventive but terrifying. I got back inside but couldn’t find Aaron and I also couldn’t remember his name to call it out while searching for him, which upset me more than the storm. He eventually arrived. He had gone with Daniel Radcliffe to save some orphans. When they arrived at the house there were many people there, but before it had been empty. A young trans woman went to hug Aaron who hugged her back. I sensed they had some kind of relationship. She noticed me watching and scolded Aaron for not hugging me first, but this felt manipulative and performative. I don’t know where this part of the dream stems from because I don’t know anybody who would do this. I woke several times and cuddled with Aaron for a long time, sleeping and waking, but the last time I woke up starving – with something like hunger cramps. I got up around 8:30 and made a smoothie, which I drank as I wrote this.

According to the weather it will be cloudy most of the day and get to a high of 70 around 2pm, which is when my therapy appointment is. It’s also likely that we’ll get rain later into the night.

“It Must Be Imagination” by Kenny Loggins from “High Adventure”. I owned this album on cassette tape. I loved it. But when I got it, it was already nearly a decade old and I wouldn’t have been surprised if you’d told me it was even older. I got it in a bargain bin or something and I was kind of shocked that I loved it, and I still love it to this day.

I was just talking about this album and Kenny Loggins with our friend Nathan on Sunday, so it’s been on my mind, but honestly, several of the tracks are consistently on playlists of mine, although my favorite is probably “If It’s Not What You’re Looking For”.

“Taking Different Roads…”

I slept for more than 8 hours, going to bed around 10 and not fully waking up until around 8. And the morning was filled with Aaron cuddles! If I can get outside today that will be 10 days in a row, which, aside from trips to other places in the world, I don’t think has happened in years! I apparently have a therapy appointment tomorrow? My therapist supposedly had surgery and was off for 3 weeks, but I saw her 2 weeks ago, so I was not expecting this. But if true (and not a clinical error) then it will be fun to tell her about all these personal victories.

Still getting ready for bed. 05-11-26.

The Punisher: One Last Kill will be released tonight, which will hopefully answer some questions regarding his absence in Season 2 of Daredevil: Born Again. But today is also Disney / Marvel’s entry at the Upfronts, which means there will likely be news of several upcoming Marvel projects, though I’m not sure how much of that news will leak or if any of it will be all that interesting. We’ll have to wait and see. The project I’m most interested in is “VisionQuest”, but I’m interested in everything to some degree. The next Marvel thing to come out will be Sony / Marvel’s Amazon series “Spider-Noir”, which streams its first season in full on May 27, the day after we return from Florida. Then “Spider-Man: Brand New Day” will be released to theaters in July. We’ll likely get “X-Men 97′ Season 2”, then “Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man Season 2”, then “VisionQuest” after May but before December. In December, “Avengers: Doomsday” hits theaters. In 2027 we have “Daredevil: Born Again Season 3”, “Spider-Man: Beyond the Spider-Verse” “X-Men 97′ Season 3”, “Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man Season 3” & “Avengers: Secret Wars”.

We’re going to Florida from May 20 – May 26. We need to see how our house there is doing in the wake of some drama, plus we like to go there when we can so it’s part work, part vacation, and assuming the house is doing well, it could be a relaxing time for me because I love our house there and the times we’ve spent there.

I should try to eat soon. Looks like a high of about 65 this evening? Nice. Maybe I’ll walk to the park. Or a park. I’ve been trying to get to Fort Tryon this year, but I’ve also been tempted to revisit The Highline. For awhile, I was going there pretty often but it has now been several years. I don’t think I’ve been there since before the pandemic, so at least 7 years. Crazy.

I name my blog posts with quotes from songs that I share via Spotify, but they aren’t showing up today – the songs, which make me nervous that one day they will fail to appear at all. For the record this was “Love Will Tear Us Apart” by Joy Division.

“A Storm Is Threatening…”

I worked on various webpage items for 4.5 hours. So many old pictures. So many old memories. But enough for now.

The sun is blazing through the windows.

So many Trump headlines. War. Threats of annihilation. I don’t have the energy to spare too much time thinking about it all but it’s always there in the back of my mind. I have the luxury of letting it live in that space.

Tired.

I’m going to see if I can fall asleep with some Aaron cuddles.

Wake me when it’s over.

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