2024 Entry #027 “Teorema” (also known as “Theorem”), is a 1968 Italian allegorical film written and directed by openly gay Pier Paolo Pasolini and starring Terence Stamp (“Billy Budd”, “The Company of Wolves”, “The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert”), Laura Betti (“The Canterbury Tales”, “Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom”), Silvana Mangano (“Death in Venice”, “The Decameron”, “Ludwig”, “Dune”), Massimo Girotti (“Listen, Let’s Make Love”) and Anne Wiazemsky. Pasolini’s sixth film, it was apparently the first time he worked primarily with professional actors.
I’ve had this film described to me many times over the years. What I was told was that a stranger, a “visitor” comes into the lives of a family and that he seduces all the members of the household, including the maid, the father, the mother, the son and the daughter. Then the possibly otherworldly visitor leaves and we see how his departure impacts the various characters. I had also heard (correctly) that on its release, the religious right and the Vatican criticized the sexual content in the film and that the film won a special award at the Venice Film Festival from the International Catholic Film Office, only for the award to be withdrawn later when the Vatican protested. That sounds like fun, right? I mean, look at the exclamations and the sexy artwork on the film poster! It’s been on my to watch list since I even had a list.
Right. Now forget all of that, because this film is shit. It’s dull, sexless, poorly acted and disconnected from anything resembling storytelling. At the very least, the plot that was described to me (and which I have now confirmed is repeated in sources across the web) is wholly inaccurate – unless I saw a highly edited version? According to the runtime on my copy that doesn’t seem possible. The Visitor, as he is called, doesn’t actually “arrive” in the film; he’s just there and everyone seems to know him. He’s seen making out with the maid (who behaves like she’s in a much better David Lynch film, which sadly, she’s not), he comforts the seemingly gay son and on and on, but there’s no sex. And the way the characters behave feels totally unnatural – it feels forced and pointless and amateurish. And it’s not that the film needs sex but what the fuck was the Catholic church objecting to? And the description of the movie does not fit the actual events of the film. It can surely be interpreted that the Visitor has relations with everyone…but it also can be interpreted that he didn’t. I wanted to slap everyone involved in the film. I hated it. I hope to never see it again.
Although, Bruce LaBruce is currently releasing a sort-of remake of the film, titled “The Visitor”, which I’m curious to see.